It turning into a nightmare living with my dd

[slipperandpjsmum]

My dd is 9 and she always seems to be in a bad mood. Often when I talk to her she snaps at me and she is generally unpleasant to be around. Its started to get to the point whereby I am avoiding spending time with her. As soon as she walks in the room she manages to cause an argument with a very short period of time with her brothers. If she doesn't get her own way she explodes and it impact upon everyone. She says some really nasty things to my Mum and MIL, things which I never, ever said as a child.

I hate not enjoying being around her but her behavior is really starting to get me down. I keep thinking to myself its not her you don't like its her behavior but is that just playing with words. She is a nightmare to be around. I used to think having a daughter would be lovely and we would have the kind of relationship I had with my Mum but our relationship is so different.

Is anyone else in a similar situation - or is it just me??

It depends on hormones if DSD is in witch mode LOL, when she gets the spots appearring I don the hard hat LOL

Seriously though are punishments/ time outs having any effect a good time out with DSD 10 works

my DD 10 can be a bit like this though not all the time. When she has it on her, i tell her to go to her room as i/anyone else will not be spoken to in such a manner and when she can talk correctly to us the nshe can come out of her bedroom, apologise and start again.

Also, spending time with just her for a couple of hours a week gives us both chance to "get on" as there isn't any other (brother etc) distractions. :)

I found that when my DD turned 9 it was a particularly difficult time for us all! I think perhaps she had a surge of hormones, which seemed to transform her personality for the worse.

Now, 18 months on, I would say that things are much easier. She still has her moments, but the hormones seem to have settled down greatly. She also has an understanding that changes are happening to her, and if she's been particularly difficult, she'll often come and say to me "I'm sorry Mum, my hormones are driving me crazy right now".

That helps me to be a little more tolerant also. Keep the faith, I did find that DD turning 9 was a really difficult age.

oooo 9 is horrible

10 1/2 is lovely

it's almost as though at 9 they get this sudden strength of feeling but don't understand where it is coming from

they get bolshy/agressive/weepy/bold as my mother would call it, I call it smart mouthed

then they start to realise what's going on and calm down a bit

that being said, the disrespectful talking really needs nipping in the bud -my dd used to speak to her grandma on her dad's side like a piece of crap but as I told her when she was little, tiredness is not an excuse for bad behaviour and niether are hormones

Thanks for your replies. Its reassuring to know I am not alone! Time outs and grounding (which she particularly hates as she loves being with friends) have no long term impact upon her behaviour. But I will keep plodding on and hope as she gets that little bit older things will improve! She has always been quite a spirited child with a great determination, which will be great qualities as an adult if channeled in the right direction. But right now its making for a bumpy ride living with her!!

When my hormones started to surge my mum bought me evening primrose oil and vitamin b6. I have to say they help so much, I still use them in fact If I run out I notice as the pmt is horrific.

My DD is only age 4 but have you thought about the book How to talk? I really like the advice in there and hope to continue using it as mine get bigger

verity is your 9 year old a girl?