Explaining bad/swear words to 9 year old

[benanddaisysmum]

Hi,
My 8 yr old son (9 in April) has been really good at coming to me for explanations of words he hears at school that he doesn't understand. I have told him I would prefer him to ask me rather than going around using words he doesn't know the meaning of and getting into trouble. Up until now it has been relatively straight forward. This week I have had "imbecile" and various words for male genitalia and ladies boobs. I don't want to put him off being open and honest with me about these things, but tonight he asked me what "rape" was. He says he heard it at school, but says he can't remember the context or who said it. I wonder whether it may have been the radio. Anyway. I haven't had the sex conversation with him yet, so I am worried about how to explain this without lying. I told him that it was late and I would talk to him tomorrow. Oh my word...how to continue?

I'd tell him to look it up, expecting him not to bother He will have forgotten by tomorrow anyway won't he?

I would explain it- but then I would have been talking about healthy positive aspects of sex long before he got to the age of 9. Not in The Conversation, but in a general flow of information alongside the hundreds of other things one talks about.

I like your approach of getting him to go to you for an explanation; just make sure that you get the positive things in too. If all he hears about sex is in the shape of dirty words and connected with violence or demeaning attitudes, that will give him a skewered attitude. He needs to learn from you that the people who think of it in those terms are narrow and foolish- and in a minority.

I think you say that rape is when someone makes another person have sex with them, when they don't want to. Then see if he asks anything else. He should know by now what sex is. If he doesn't it's a good opportunity to tell him.

Completely agree with amaretti, you need to be honest. If you normally explain words then he will spot your reluctance a mile off! And actualy, I think its probably time for talking about sex anyway, at 9. It wont be long before he gets the very early beginnings of puberty so you may as well start it off.