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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

8yo DD having tantrums, what is 'normal' behaviour?

6 replies

NotLostJustSomewhereSafe · 09/02/2012 10:41

My 8yo dd has recently started having wild tantrums, screaming and shouting, stomping round and, when that doesn't get our attention, hitting her 6yo brother. I get all the usual 'I hate you' and 'You hate me', etc and all over the slightest of things.
This morning for example, she got out of bed happily enough and got her uniform to put on but completely flipped when I asked her to get clean knickers and socks out of the drawer (personal hygiene discussions have apparently gone straight over her head). I then had to drive 15 minutes to school with her screaming and kicking the back of my seat. I just sang along to the radio to show that I was unmoved by this behaviour and when she finally quietened down I turned off the radio and started a conversation with both children. She went into school crying but I know that when I pick her up she will be all smiley and bouncy.
This is not a school problem, she can have these sudden tantrums over anything.

What I'd like to know is if this is 'normal' at this age, I thought tantrums were for 2 year olds and teenagers! Is this a pre-puberty thing and does it mean she will hit puberty early? Would love some advice please.

OP posts:
MelangeATrois · 09/02/2012 21:45

Eek! Am not looking forward to this phase one bit (DS 6yrs + DD 6mo Grin). You must have nerves of steel to drive 15 minutes with her screaming and kicking your seat.

If it helps, when I was 11 my mum thought about sending me to a psychologist as I was apparently so horrible. (Backstory: we had just temporarily moved from a big old house into a tiny rented flat so I was sharing a room and a bunk bed with my younger brother just as I was going through puberty, I had started at a big secondary school with a boil on the end of my nose. And I had the haircut from hell. No wonder I was p*ed off!)

Just bumping for you to see if anyone can help.

CeliaFate · 10/02/2012 08:54

My 8 year old ds doesn't have tantrums so much as really miserable as sin moods. He's fuming this morning because I made him put his hood up as it was sleeting. Sometimes I think "bugger it, do as you bloody well like!" because he's so grumpy. Hopefully it's just a phase and the half term holiday will cheer him up (or send me over the edge!)

NotLostJustSomewhereSafe · 13/02/2012 09:05

Thanks for the replies Smile

OP posts:
IAmSherlocked · 13/02/2012 09:12

I don't know about girls... (despite having been one - but when I was 8, a tantrum would've got really short shrift from mum and dad!) My 8 year old DS doesn't have tantrums or major moods yet; he's still pretty biddable for the most part. I can't imagine him thinking a tantrum would achieve anything and therefore he probably wouldn't bother.

Sounds as if you're doing the right thing by completely ignoring her though - you might just have to grit your teeth and think 'this too will pass!'

Minimes · 18/02/2012 11:34

i have been having have problems, with my 8yr old going to be 9 in two months time... aggressive behavior, constant shouting, pushing hitting her sisters.. i do try and give her time, but having four other young children i feel like time is always consumed in disciplining her..i hate being the "bad guy". She is always bored, but what ever suggestion i make for her its "i dont want to do that" other complaints are "this family is annoying" "i hate you" "your the worse mum ever" "you don't care" in fact i love her very much and i cant understand why she is the way she is .. i give lots oF HUGS, KISSES have her friend over buy her whatever she needs n more so what am i doing wrong HELP....

Geocentric · 16/03/2012 19:56

My almost 8yr old is driving us nuts with her mood swings and tantrums, one moment she's smiling and the next she's a screaming banshee. I'm thinking of recording her on my phone next time so I can later show her what she sounds like.

Its always worse when she's hungry, but anything sets her off. I've just tried to be firm and consistent, but is very hard.

A bit of chocolate helps calm things down so blood sugar levels possibly a big factor!

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