Not sure where to post this, it's not really typical preteen behaviour, but anyway...
We have a very clingy and anxious 9yo girl (middle child) who seems terrified to be left on her own and is constantly seeking attention. If she's with people, she's full of beans. But if not, she's following us around the house. If it's not her dad she's hovering around, it's me, or her big sister (they sleep in the same bed - she is too scared to sleep on her own). She interprets everything we say to mean we are having a go at her, getting very upset, screaming & crying like a toddler. If DP tells the children off collectively for something, her response is 'you hate us don't you' or if it's just her, then 'I don't care' or 'It's not my fault'. They all come through to our room in the morning, but the other 2 eventually get bored and disappear off, but she won't let DP out of her sight without a screaming fit ensuing.
She clearly has low self-esteem and is constantly looking for reassurance; she is also a real 'people pleaser' which worries me as she gets older as she just attaches like a limpet to whoever gives her attention. We give her a lot of love and as much time and positive attention as we can, given that there are 2 other children also desperate for a piece of DP. I had assumed it was just since DP and his ex split up, but apparently she has always been this way. It is driving us both nuts and unfortunately often results in DP getting cross because he is constantly tripping up over her (literally) while he tries to cook/take a shower/answer the door.
It's really upsetting to see and is also testing our patience, which she picks up on and so the circle continues. Anyone else had a similar issue or any experience on how to help DSD feel more secure and confident?
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Preteens
Clingy 9 yr old - is this normal and how can we help her?
8 replies
PickledLily · 28/01/2012 16:09
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