How do I punish my 10y.old DS for stealing?

[passmeanotherpineapple]

Over the wkend my dh thought money (2 pound coins) had gone missing from his car on a trip out, just before we set off he'd had a quick tidy noticed they were there then when we got to car park they'd gone. I Mentioned it to my daughter and one coin turned up (she says she'd found it on the floor) a few minutes later.
Then when out at the arcades at the seaside my dh noticed pound coins in her, I know she didn't have them on Friday as I borrowed money off her (I've never any change) and all she wad left with was under a pound in silver. Dh didn't want to bring it up & spoil the trip out.

Now here I am daughter at school, about to Hoover her room & I've looked through her bag to find nearly a fiver in pounds & change and also two empty moshi monsters card packs & a packet from the figures too (she's not had any of these before to my knowledge). I know she's definitely stolen them from a shop we were in at the wkend as there is a price with the department stores name on the back.
She's due home in less than 90mins, I can't get hold of my husband til after 5 & I don't know what to do other than cry.... What do I do?!

I'd be very hard line about it tbh, sit her down with her purse and the packets and ask her about them. See what she says.
I'd also be calling the manager of the shop and taking dd back there with her pocket money to pay for the items (wouldn't hurt if manager was stern and put the fear of God into her either).
If it were my dd she'd be grounded and have extra chores to do along with removal of privileges.

I caught my DD with her hand in my 50p box. I had saved over £200 and over the course of a couple of months she had helped herself to about £80 of it!
She was grounded, obviously and had her pocket money taken away. She was due to go away with school for a trip so that was also cancelled.
What really got to her though was when we told a friend what she had done. THe embarressment and pain on her face was punishment enough.

You have to confront her and let her know what she has done is serious and very wrong. We discussed with dd a payment plan, no pocket money or comic for 3 months.
For the shoplifted stuff then in the past I have made dd own up and apologise to the shop staff, it was only a couple of pic n mix and the staff weren't that bothered. It might be more serious with the card and figures but they need to learn the consequences of stealing

I feel so ashamed, I can't believe she would do it. I just don't know what to say when she gets in. All I can think to do is send her to her room when she gets in. I've taken her 'stolen items' and laid them out on the table, and then also the leads of tv, cd player etc along with DS, so she can wait on her room til my husband gets in.

How did it go?
I agree with the shame of it. I couldn't believe that my dd would stoop so low and felt awful for raising someone who could steal.
Thankfully the shame on her has made her growup and realise what she did and she hasn't done anything like that since. She is more responsible with money now and respecrful of other peoples things.
I will admit though for a long time if something went missing I did wonder if it was her and that made me feel so bad all over again

To passmeanotherpineapple: Hi i am interested how it all went with your child and how you have managed since. The exact same thing has just happened with my 10yr old daughter and am at a loss how to deal with it.

Sorry apologies for not updating.... I confronted her about but she said she'd bought the items when I was there (really not possible) then the story kept changing over the next few days, she found them, she was given them & eventually she confessed. I'm more angry she lied to us. We initially said we'd make her return the items but decided against, to be honest we didn't stick to the grounding enough as it was half term. Towards the end of the week we slackened off too much.
Problem is it has now happened again & I'm clueless over what to do. This time it wasn't a shop but from me, (change from school) to buy a bloody poppy of all things (which I would of given her the money for if she'd asked) but she lied so much that she dug herself into a massive hole. She's not grounded indefinitely, until we work out what to do, at the moment I can't bear to look at her

One thing - could she be being bullied? Children who steal often are being threatened by kids for money. Worth pursuing before you judge her. If you know that's not the case, cold indifference would punish her more than a row. Put your purse, bag and jewellery away and tell her that you cannot trust her so you won't be able to leave your things lying around.

If she has pocket money, take out the amount she took. Tell her you're going to speak to her teachers to see if they can give you a reason for the stealing.

I've now hidden my purse.... And told her she won't be sent to the shops as we can't trust her (she often gets milk, bread etc if we run out & is allowed to get something for going with the change.
I don't think she's being bullied, but We have got a 10 week old DD too, Although she seems fine we have been very careful to make sure we don't leave her out.

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but does she have enough spending money of her own?

I stole from my parents and occasionally from shops when I was about thiS age because I never had any money. Talking about it to my mother as an adult, she said that she and my dad hadn't thought that children needed money and that it made them materialistic. In my case, it was completely the opposite not having money made me crave stuff really badly.

Hi, I just read what you posted, I don't have any advice but I wanted to say I used to steal from my mum when young. I think it started around 11 and stopped once I had a job. I am incredibly honest these days and I just wanted to reassure you that it doesn't mean she will be stealing when she is an adult!

I recall my reasons being similar to Seeker's - my mum used to give me very specific small amounts of money for specific things but I never had any money to control myself. My mum was quite scary and I just couldn't talk to her. She also used to go on about not wasting money, but I never knew what that felt like so it wasn't real to me.

Hi, my 11 year old DS was given £40 for Chinese new year by his GD on Sunday morning. He put the money in his piggy box,in which he already had £45 in notes that he was saving for a mobile and some change.
On the Wednesday morning, he went to take a coin out of his box and screamed with despair when he only find £25 pounds in notes+change.
On the monday morning, I had 3 friends around and while we were busy, my friend's DS (who is also my DS's best friend), who was off sick from school, went upstairs to play.
On the monday night my friend tell me that her DS has found £45 pound in her bush near home.
Then Wednesday come and my son scream and cry asking us if we had taken any of his money.
Conclusion, no the only person who went in his room was his friend.

When i question my friend about the coincidence between the money found and the money missing, she said that my son was lying. But I don't understand her reaction as I had seen the money that my DS had been saving, as regularly borrowing and putting back the money when needing cash.
I don't know how to deal with this.