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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

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Original poster

What age for mobile phones, with Internet?

15 replies

Chocster06 · 16/08/2011 20:52

My DH's ex has just given their boys, aged 9 and 11, an iPhone 4 each. Not just simple mobiles, but full blown iphones with internet etc. I was quite surprised, but the kids claim loads of their friends at school have them. Is this really the case? And what rules of use or technology to limit use of certain websites do people have in place for them? Thanks for any advice!

OP posts:

Namechangeoshame · 16/08/2011 20:56

When they can pay for them theirselves IMO.

Meglet · 16/08/2011 21:00

18 and when they are paying for it.

Heaven knows what they will see on it at that age .

Original poster

Chocster06 · 16/08/2011 21:07

Also, meant to say that DH has suggested to them that they ought not show they have one when in public, eg on the bus to school, to protect their safety should anyone try to snatch it. Them getting iPhones is not something we were prepared for so trying to think about what they need to know fast!

OP posts:

Meglet · 16/08/2011 21:22

They'll get them nicked or broken so fast they won't have time to look at anything dodgy.

Why on earth would anyone think they were a suitable present at that age .

daisysue2 · 19/08/2011 00:46

My dd asked for an Itouch instead of a party for the whole year which she had every other year since age 3, so a much cheaper option. She was only allowed to use it in the house, on flights and long car journey even so she lost it within a year. Won't be doing that again but it was a cheaper option than the party. As Meglet said, especially if they are taking them to school everyday, they won't last long. Hopefully it will be a lesson for them.

The whole internet access is a whole other issue though. Do they have settings put on them or can they access anything.

BleughCowWonders · 19/08/2011 06:25

Seems very young, but so many children start secondary school with a mobile that an Iphone is just another step.

Personally, I don't allow electronics in bedrooms. So far, (oldest is 10) we haven't had any complaints when ds games/ laptop/ ipad - which is dh's! - etc have to stay in living room or kitchen.

But I am wondering who is paying the bills for the iphones in the op's case?!

Original poster

Chocster06 · 19/08/2011 10:58

Thanks for all the responses.

I'm hoping that they have insurance, but on the other hand if they do they'll just get a new one if it's lost! So in fact the opposite lesson could be learnt...! I still hope they do have insurance though, as it would be a big waste of money (their mum's, as per BCW's q) if one got lost or broken.

Not having them in the bedroom is an idea, as they're so small and backlit that they can be used under covers. Must say though, I'd be very sad if DH's iPad was left in the kitchen each night!!!

Regarding Internet, I have no idea. DH can set google search with some restrictions, but we're not aware of any other limits more generally. Perhaps there is an app for it... If anyone knows how to, that would be great!

OP posts:

daisysue2 · 19/08/2011 17:16

I think they are way to young to have the iphones without any safety settings they can access all the porn and inapropriate sites that they can on a computer without safety settings. But they have these phones in their bedrooms and places where no adult will supervise them. Should really look into it.

cat64 · 19/08/2011 17:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LynetteScavo · 19/08/2011 17:33

Orange set DS1's phone for us....tbh, I've never tested it out..but his phone is quite basic, and so the internet access he can get would be pathetic anyway.He would love an iphone, but he doesn't exactly have a brilliant track record with phones, so I wouldn't get him one even for his birthday or Christmas. I was shocked to see how much he can access on his DS...he managed to set up a FB account with out us realising for a month.

bigscarymum · 22/08/2011 11:15

We have refused to let DD (now age 15) have internet on her phone - she doesn't ask any more. We could actually get her a cheaper deal with internet than the one she currently has but we decided that there was no need for her to be on facebook 24h a day!! She can connect to the wifi at home, and phone/ipods etc go on the landing at night. I would prefer no internet at all in her bedroom but she uses it a lot for homework so it's a bit difficult.

vickibear · 01/07/2016 07:21

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Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

friggingnora · 01/07/2016 07:33

Most 11 year olds I know have phones with internet. Pretty standard for starting high school where I am. 9 is less common. And iPhone 4 is a pretty old model.

Not a huge deal IMO. Just get some restrictions on, set some serious rules about downloading paid apps and in-app purchases. I'd agree that having it in the bedroom at night isn't a good idea for the 9yo.

Lilaclily · 17/07/2016 11:00

All the year 7s have smart phones at ds school

They connect to the schools wifi at lunch and break

Makes me sad that school allows phones so they don't go out at break times

At my neices school phones have to be in lockers all day

BirdyBedtime · 21/07/2016 12:59

We got DD a phone recently for 11th birthday - it's basic Vodafone smartphone so does have internet, but we've had very serious talks about using it and she knows we can check any time. Plus the Mobile data is off so she can't use the internet out of the house.

I agree with friggingnora that in this day and age it's better to teach responsible use rather than ban it totally. And definitely pay as you go or bundle so that if they do use it for the internet on mobile data then you don't end up with a huge bill.

She will be allowed to take it to school when walking after the summer but the school (primary) has a policy that they have to be handed into the office so no playing during school time.

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