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Preschool education

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Original poster

Holding my child back a year

42 replies

FeelLikeTweedleDee · 06/07/2010 16:41

I'm due to give birth any day now. When my child is of school-age she will be the youngest in her class and this will be a disadvantage to her.

Would it be possible to hold her back a year?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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mosschops30 · 06/07/2010 16:46

dear god, your child isnt even born yet.

Until you know your child how can you possibly comment?

dd was one of the youngest in her year, and her best friend was born end of august and was above average in that class, and still is at high school.

But it am bias because I dont believe in holding children back a year

dixiechick1975 · 06/07/2010 16:47

Not the norm in England.

Your DC will start school in reception September 2014 (possibly part time until jan or a Jan 2015 start in some areas)

If you choose you can miss reception and start her directly into Yr 1 Sept 2015 as they don't leagally have to be in education until 5.

She wont be the youngest - there will be some August babies younger.

Good luck with the baby!

Original poster

FeelLikeTweedleDee · 06/07/2010 16:55

For those that object:

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1567239/Pupils-born-in-summer-more-likely-to-struggle.html

www.health24.com/child/School/833-856,24371.asp

OP posts:

Dysgu · 06/07/2010 18:33

I think it really does depend on your child. I teach and some of the brightest children are summer born but they do sometimes tend to get off to a slower start simply because they are younger when they start.

On a personal level, DD1 was born right at the beginning of September and was due half way through November. One of my first statements was 'at least she will be in the right school year' and preemies do often struggle extra if they end up starting early (due to prematurity). However, she is now 3.10 years and, if she was going this September i am pretty sure should would have been absolutely fine. As it is, she has another year in pre-school.

Yes there are arguments for delaying the start of education but they do a lot of social playing in the early years and teachers are used to helping the youngest.

Give it a few years before you start excusing her progress on her being 'one of the youngest in the class/year' (please!!!)

Original poster

FeelLikeTweedleDee · 07/07/2010 17:00

Is it legally possible to hold your child back 1 year?

OP posts:

sleepwhenidie · 07/07/2010 17:09

You can't keep her back a year in the way I think you mean - as Dysgu said, you can keep her out of school until she is 5, so she starts after she turns 5, but she would then go into the class for her age, ie year one NOT reception.

Also as Dysgu said, she probably won't be the youngest, there is the rest of July and August to go yet!

Lulumaam · 07/07/2010 17:15

why do you state categorically it will be a disadvantage?

DD was born end of July, just coming to the end of reception now.. certainly not disadvantaged in any way.. she's popular, confident, loves school and is doing great with her reading, numbers and letters etc

wait and see what your child is like, don't worry about it now

IMO , missing out the reception year is more disadvantageous than being one of the youngest in the year

RhinestoneCowgirl · 07/07/2010 17:30

DS will be 4 at the end of July and will start reception in September. When he was born a friend of mine told me v seriously that 'you didn't plan that very well' and went on to tell me how my newborn would struggle at school.

DS is bright and articulate, good social skills, and I'm sure he will be fine at school. I am concerned that it will tire him out, as he currently just does 3 sessions of preschool, but we will just have to ride this out (and school offers the option of part time for first term for younger children).

Having visited his school and met his teachers, I'm confident that he will get lots of support if/when he needs it. Reception is still Foundation stage of the curriculum and so v much a continuation of what they've been doing in preschool.

qk · 07/07/2010 17:46

FeelLikeTweedleDee - wait and see what your child is like. The "normal" range of development is absolutely vast. DS is 4.4 and is starting reception in Sept. I know most of the class from nursery and there are 3 little girls in his class who are born - 2 in July and 1 in August. They are all very bright and they are well ready to start school. Of course, some are not, but give your child the chance to be born and see how she goes. On the other hand, I know a September born girl who is extremely bright (2nd Sept) and is starting school this Sept - it has been pretty hard for her being in a nursery with children who are younger than her who are well behind her. I include my own DS in this statement! If you held back a July born girl like this girl, you would be doing the wrong thing.

LIZS · 07/07/2010 17:58

dd hasn't found being end of August a disadvantage academically and it is very unlikely a July baby will be the youngest by the law of averages. Wait and see, the system isn't that flexible anyway.

Original poster

FeelLikeTweedleDee · 07/07/2010 19:59

"why do you state categorically it will be a disadvantage?"

Please see the articles I posted for examples.

OP posts:

Original poster

FeelLikeTweedleDee · 07/07/2010 20:00

"IMO , missing out the reception year is more disadvantageous than being one of the youngest in the year"

I dont want her to miss reception, I want her to start it later.

OP posts:

Lulumaam · 07/07/2010 20:34

something being 'more likely' is not the same as a categorical fact

furthermore, she can't start reception a year later , it is year one .. so you're on a hiding to nothing there

the other alternative of course, is to home ed your child until you feel she is ready for school

there is a home ed section on here where you could get some excelletn advice

Lulumaam · 07/07/2010 20:38

or you could find a school that still does a january intake

i have a DS who is the oldest in the year pretty much.. he's struggled massively, much more than DD, due to dyslexia and other complex SEN. so , until you have your baby and see how she develops, you should really not put so much stress on the birthdate

Original poster

FeelLikeTweedleDee · 08/07/2010 09:23

I think about this a lot. I feel terribly guilty about conceiving in October. The thought that I put my child at a distinct disadvantage is upsetting to me.

So it would not be legal to have her start reception a year after she is normally due to?

OP posts:

MrsBadger · 08/07/2010 09:32

it wouldn't be illegal but you are unlikely to find a school that'll let you do it.

Anyway, wait till you see what she's like

dd has a summer birthday
she is tall, bright, confident, bossy and opinionated
she would be a nightmare if held back a year and ended up the oldest in the class.

NoahAndTheWhale · 08/07/2010 09:36

I really wouldn't worry about your child starting school yet

For all any of us know the system will have changed by then. Also your DC may be very ready for school.

I think in some LEAs at the moment some children can be deferred but this is unlikely to be just based on when they were born. A friend of mine in York has a son who should be in year 1 now but his special needs have meant he is now finishing reception. He is also a July birthday.

This is meant with the best of intentions, but concentrate on the birth of your child for now and worry about school later. Hope the birth goes well

bronze · 08/07/2010 09:38

Unless you have special circumstances then you won't be able to delay reception by a year.

My dd is august born but she was three months early so was due in the october. This means not only is she a summer baby but shes very very young for her age. I got special dispensation to hold her reception year back and have actually decided not to take it. I think you need to wait and see 3/4 years

bronze · 08/07/2010 09:40

oh and if everyone held back their july august children then the youngest would be the may june children and their parents would be demanding to hold them back as the youngest in the year. Someone has got to be the oldest/youngest in each year.

LemonMelon · 08/07/2010 09:47

There will always be a child who is the youngest! Doesn't mean they are at a disadvantage.FWIW when I was at school, there was a boy who's birthday was in the last days of August, and the the eldest had her birthday a few days into September. Made no difference at all.

Original poster

FeelLikeTweedleDee · 08/07/2010 11:08

bronze - how did you get the special dispensation?

OP posts:

cory · 08/07/2010 13:38

FeelLikeTweedleDee Thu 08-Jul-10 09:23:48
"I think about this a lot. I feel terribly guilty about conceiving in October. The thought that I put my child at a distinct disadvantage is upsetting to me."

Hormones, my dear, hormones.

Once your child is out of that womb you will get on with life, and you will realise that she will always be at a disadvantage in some respect, compared to some child or other. Some children will be richer, some children will be more gifted, some parents will be able to provide educational advantages you can't, upsetting things may happen to her that do not happen to her friends. You can never give your child the perfect life.
On the other hand, she will be at an advantage in some other respects, and compared with some other children.
The best most people can hope for from life is not the perfect experience, but a fairly even balance of advantages and disadvantages.
Considering that this particular disadvantage is shared by nearly 10% of children, it seems a little OTT to feel guilty about it.

Lulumaam · 08/07/2010 15:47

but people are here telling you that their children are not at a distinct disadvantage

i posted that my oldest in teh year DS has big problems with due to dyslexia and otehr issues

the month of birth is nothing per se to worry about

honestly, you need to relax and enjoy your pregnancy and focus on meeting this wonderful new individual

bronze · 08/07/2010 19:16

feel- because of her prematurity. I had to go through the LEA. They wouldn't have just given it for just any summer born

bluejeans · 08/07/2010 19:29

Relocate to Scotland? Cut-off is end of Feb here

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