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Preschool education

Get advice from other Mumsnetters to find the best nursery for your child on our Preschool forum.

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Original poster

Importance of being with future school friends.

10 replies

kate3006 · 02/05/2010 20:08

I am in a bit of a dilemma and just wondering if anyone can help. At the moment my dd goes to a local day nursery three mornings a week. She is extremely happy there and, apart from a few niggles, I am happy with the setting. However, I am a bit worried as I don't think that any of the children there will be going to the school she'll hopefully get into. So, I'm wondering whether I should also send her to the play group in the grounds of the school she'll be going to from Sep for a couple of mornings (she'd have to continue at the nursery at least two mornings because of my work hours.)

I'm not convinced that her being in two different settings will be good for her, however. She is so happy at nursery that it seems a shame to unsettle her. But then on other hand, I am worried about the thought of her starting school not knowing anyone. A lot of pupils at her school will have been to the playgroup and I don't want her to be isolated. But then, will she just make new friends anyway at school?

Would really appreciate some advice!
Thanks

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fruitshootsandheaves · 02/05/2010 20:13

My children have made new friends at every change in school. They all went to a different upper school to nearly all their friends and just made new ones. They have kept in touch with some but only a couple from primary or nursery.
At that age they soon make new friends. I am sure she will be fine and it will may cause more problems to move her.
HTH

AnnaSergeyevna · 02/05/2010 20:19

I would not move her. I had this dilemma with my DS but it was amazing how quickly he adapted to the new school, made friends and promptly forgot about the others. Many others have told me the same thing.

The only thing I would do is just before she is due to transfer, see if you can meet any of the other parents / children so that she knows someone when she starts. I asked at the school and they let me come along with DS for a couple of visits to the nursery before starting properly so that he could meet some of the children who would be in his class.

hth.

Rooble · 02/05/2010 20:21

I don't mean to sound silly, but does she know any of the children at the playgroup in the school grounds already? I'm assuming from what you've written that not. In which case, isn't she just going to have to get to know new children at some point anyway? Whether it be when she starts at school, or when she goes to this playgroup.
If you're not convinced you want her in two settings, it would seem more sensible to let her spend some nice quality time with you on her non-nursery days before she disappears off to school full time.

(I'm not speaking from personal experience - don't yet have school age children. But it seems daft to do something you don't REALLY want to do just because she might possibly get into the school)

Sorry - not sure if that's all that helpful...

Original poster

kate3006 · 02/05/2010 20:21

Thanks, that is what my instincts are telling me as well but I just have an image of her being petrified on her first day at school and not knowing anyone and all the kids from the playgroup not wanting to play with her!

OP posts:

FiveGoMadInDorset · 02/05/2010 20:22

DD will be the only one to start from her preshcool at her new school this September. We were toying with the idea of moving DS to the preschool attached to it but he is staying where he is as he is very happy there.

CarGirl · 02/05/2010 20:23

My friend had this, full time at nursery, her dd was one of the older ones and I get the impressions that she was one of the queen bees there; she found settling into reception where at least half of the class had been at pre-school together hard going. Some of that may be down to personality, the fact that she was high up the pecking order at full time day care etc etc

I have experience of using 2 pre-schools at the same time and pre-school and a EYFS childminder at the same time, absolutely no problem all 4 of mine never batted an eyelid at going to 2 different places and having some other days at home with just mum as well as weekends with Mum & Dad!

I don't think there is a right or a wrong, you know your dc best.

RubberDuck · 02/05/2010 20:25

I was really relieved both times with my dses that they'd know several kids going up to their new school (and in my ds1's case, his best friend was going).

In the event, from week one they made brand new friends and hardly have anything to do with the old nursery friends ever.

So I really wouldn't worry about it

Original poster

kate3006 · 02/05/2010 20:38

I guess I am hoping as well that even if she didn't know anyone the teacher would make sure that new children would get to mix with the children from the playgroup! Hopefully anyway!

OP posts:

Acanthus · 02/05/2010 20:40

It doesn't matter at this age - they don't really have friends until they are older, she'll mix in reception or nnursery just fine.

hocuspontas · 02/05/2010 20:47

The school might do induction afternoons for all the new intake next term so she'd have a couple of introductions to her new classmates then. I'd leave her. Only very few friendships are set in stone from reception and those are usually because the mums are as thick as thieves! I'm sure the playgroup won't have 29 of the 30 new starters anyway so there will be lots of others in the same boat.

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