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Preschool education

Get advice from other Mumsnetters to find the best nursery for your child on our Preschool forum.

DD terrified after being bitten at school

3 replies

Mumup · 23/04/2010 14:21

Sorry it's long, but the background: DD (2) was bitten twice in a week by a little boy in her nursery class. The teachers gave her lots of hugs and cuddles, told me all about it, and after the second incident, they moved DD into another class (the school has two nursery classes for her age). She was v happy about the move and although was upset about the incident and kept calling the boy "naughty", she seems quite happy to go to school.

Yesterday I picked her up and was sitting outside the classroom with her chatting to another mum, when the boy's class let out. He walked out with the other kids, didn't get anywhere near my DD, just innocently walking along, and she FREAKED. Crying, climbing up me, little heart racing. She was utterly terrified just seeing him.

One of the teachers witnessed this and I asked her what was up - was DD always like this when she saw him? Teacher says, yes, in fact she now won't play on the playground because the two classes are out there together. Now they just let her stay in the classroom and play on her own if she prefers during playground time. !!

I have requested a meeting with the nursery coordinator about this. Clearly the school should have told me she was terrified and hiding away (it's been one month since the biting).

So how do I help DD get over this fear? She is now exposed to the boy for only about 45 minutes out of a 4-hour day (he has bitten others as well, he's probably just in some awful phase and is not targeting her, IYKWIM). But I need to help her deal with her terror. Any suggestions?

OP posts:
misshardbroom · 23/04/2010 18:00

Sorry, have I got this right?

Your DD was bitten, but it was your DD that was moved into a different class? I understand that you're OK about this, but I think that would annoy me for a start.

Sadly, you're probably right about the boy in question being in an awful biting phase, and it sounds as though you're being very level headed about it.

I don't have any sound advice about helping your DD deal with the fear, but I would definitely be speaking to the nursery coordinator to discuss strategies for dealing with your DD's fear, and to express your concern that you haven't been told about this. At all ages, but especially with very young children, it's vital that there's a constant dialogue between the setting and the parent, and the EYFS supports this.

Mumup · 23/04/2010 22:37

Thanks. DD's class became too large, so was split in two the week before this boy bit her. She was put in the new class, and then the boy joined, so she was happy to move back to her 'old' class after it happened.

I'm not concerned about the biting boy. Kids do this, it's a huge shame but they do. I really just want to help her find a better way to respond to this.

Today she missed a birthday celebration because it was happening in this boy's classroom, and she wouldn't go near.

OP posts:
Reesie · 25/04/2010 20:17

I have no advice really - just to say how lovely you are mumsup. dd1 was a biter - thankfully stopped when she turned 2 1/2 and is now the sweetest gentle girl ever and complete pleasure to be around. Prior to this she was hannibal lector on speed . It was a terrible terrible time, I was constantly timing her out, telling her off and apologising profusely to all injured parties. I am feeling sorry for this little boys mum even though I don't know her....

Your poor dd though. I would definately chat with the nursery about strategies to him away from her as she is so scared. This should not be for too much longer as I find children tend to move on from things a bit quicker than us adults!

Good luck with things and thanks for being so understanding to us poor unfortunate biters...

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