DS wont listen to the teachers-need advice

[DoingTheBestICan]

Ds's bday is in Aug so he is the youngest in the school yr & he started pre-school Sept just gone.

His teacher pulled me to one side today to tell me he wont sit still & listen to stories,do activities etc.

She said he is very clever & picks things up really quickly but he is very easily distracted.

When he is at home he listens to me & his dad & is a lovely pleasant little boy.

What can i do to help him? She said she realises he is the youngest in the year but she wants us to make him listen to her & sit still in class.

Any advice from anyone else who has been there? Please.

Perhaps there are fewer distractions in your home. When he's listening to you is it 1:1? It might be harder for him when he's one of 20 or however many.

Tbh, I'm not sure what she expects you to do! She is the one who's there! It's up to her to keep order! (as far as anyone can keep order in a class of 4 / 5 yr olds )

You should certainly talk to him about the importance of listening and doing as he's told. Maybe write stories with him about little boys who are good in school (get him to draw the pictures).

Perhaps you should ask her what she would like you to do. - not in a nasty "what can I do" way, but genuinely, how would you like me to help you to deal with this" sort of way.

Really, what can you do? Tell him off every night? (counterproductive) sit in classes with him? Truly, if he is not paying attention in class it needs to be dealt with IN class (with back up from you at home)

So what is she asking of you? When she says you should 'make him' how does she imagine you will achieve that?

Perhaps you could ask the teacher what she's tried?

you could beat your head against a brick wall until he becomes old enough to sit still and listen

I hope this is helpful advice

he's in pre-school so he's what? 3?

agree with teacher that you'll try and ignore her

Have his hearing checked and try to get him to focus on one activity for a little longer each time at home. ds was "distractible", I think a lot of young boys are tbh. He is only 3 after all !

Thankyou everyone,yes he is 3 atm.

Admittedly when he is at home it is 1:1 so he will listen & fetch things for me when asked,etc...

Ds does have glue ear & although he hasnt had an ear infection this Winter yet he has had them in the past.

We have had a word with him this afternoon & told him he must listen to the teachers & do what they tell him to.

Thanks again for understanding, i thought i would be slated for over-reacting.

It's quite possible that in the noisy atmosphere of preschool he cannot hear her.

Plus, he's three. I really hate the way three year old boys are problemised for being 3 year old boys

Does teacher know he has glue ear as she may need to sit him closer to her or so that his best side is towards her. Hearing tests is often one of the first things we suggest with children as the noise in a nursery can heighten any deficiency they already have and if we know about it we can make allowances. He's only 3 after all and quite normal for boys of 3 not to be able to concentrate at things WE want them to do. Find out if he is able to concentrate at activities he chooses for himself - this shows he has the ability to concentrate but is not yet ready/willing to do it when asked - all perfectly normal for any 3 year old.
Am a bit that she expects you to sort it out - her classroom, her job - maybe she was just letting you know but she should have been coming to you with some sort of suggestions for things to do at home to help.
Once again though - normal 3 year old boy behaviour.

Thanks again for your comments,i have mentioned to them when he first started that he has glue ear but i think it is worth mentioning again.

When i pick him up later i shall ask if he concentrates on things he wants to do,thats a good point.

He did get a sticker yesterday for being good & listening,teacher told me he was a lot better yesterday but they were directing him more also.

I have had time to think on it all now & tbh you are all right,he is only 3 & is the youngest by far in the whole yr.

I am absolutely horrified that she's said that to you. He's three for goodness sake!

Our pre-school carpet time is a hoot, particularly as right now we've got more under 3s than ever before. It's like Picadilly Circus so most carpet times are kept very short and spent practicing sitting down!

We use spots for the youngest children (small circular bits of carpet) which helps. They have a spot each.

Do they have small group time as well as whole group time? If so then this would be the time to work on the concentration skills and leave whole group time for a quick register and sing song iyswim!

I hope she comes to her senses soon!

"he wont sit still & listen to stories,do activities etc."

Talk to the manager and advise they train the staff in 'Learning Through Play' and 'Child Led Learning'!

If he doesn't want to sit still ask yourself why? It's probably because he's being asked to do something he finds uninteresting. Why don't you go to a lecture on 'Filing Systems Used In Accountancy Around The World' and see how long you can sit still for? Children should be able to choose how how they want to learn.

Boys are active things. They like to move about, ideally outdoors and do big things. Some parents judge children by the things that girls tend to be naturally better at. Sitting still, being quieter, writing/drawing.

If he's easily distracted he should be doing 5 minutes of one thing, then 5 of another until he is ready to stay for longer.

"but she wants us to make him listen to her & sit still in class."

A nursery worker should adapt to the children, not vice versa. She's not very good at her job.