i DON;T THINK DS2 FITS IN AT PLAYSCHOOL AND i FEEL TERRIBLE

[FancyThat]

hi, ds2 has been at playschool since Sept but still cries when he knows he has to go there. He is OK when i collect him but I get the feeling that they don't 'get' him. His keyworker who is also playschool manager has noted that he is extremely intelligent and has said his knowledge/understanding of world and communication skills/language are on par with those of a 5-6 or 6-7 year old. i knew he was bright and have glad they have acknowledged it. Trouble is, they seem to want to rein him in so to speak so that they can tick allthe boxes on their list of observations/learning objectives. I feel really ill at ease about this. It is almost as if he is a problem. They say he talks happily to adults but doesn't really socialise with his peers. As is KW said, it is fantastic to be so bright but you need friends too, which I am in agreement with but it just feels like it is not the right place for him. I don;t know if I am being overprotective or if I should go elsewhere. he is a happy, lively, funny little boy and we all adore him. he does normal 3 yo things and plays happily wiht friends if they visit here or we visit. What are your thoughts?

Oh, bless..maybe you might like to post later in teh gifted and talented topic?

Any way...do you think he needs to go to pre-school? At this age, a lot of it is about interacting with peers, and if he's not doing that, then maybe he is better off with you for now?

What type of pre-school is it? Local village?

He sounds like a little love, and I'm glad they have recognised his needs, even if they are unabble to provide for them. Is there anohter setting that might be able to provide every thing he needs, near by?

agree with lynettescavo, maybe he would be better either at home, or in a different setting?

don't be afraid to move him to somewhere you feel may be more suitable.

i took ds1 out of his playgroup because he wasn't very happy there and after about 6 months we looked into alternatives and put him into a really nice private nursery
you can still use your nursery vouchers at a private place, and the one we sent ds1 to was far more structured which h really responded well to.

thank yhou both. I wondered about a private nursery (dd is in private school and is doing amazingly well) but I always kind of thought that it was unnecessary at this age. i am now beginning to wonder if something more structured would suit him better. thankyo for posting. he really is the most amazing and funny little boy.

Lynette- the one he currently goes to is in a Church Hall - though not at all villagey! The staff are nice enough but I get the impression that he is viewed as some kind of misfit (but could well be my protective maternal nature coming out!). He does chat to the adults there but not really engaging with the children, which is obviously part of the reason for him going. Concerned about moving him but concerned about him staying there when he clearly does not get that much out of it.

go with your gut instinct, that's my advice.

decide if you want him to be somewhere (anywhere!) or at home.
if you do decide that it would benefit him to be at a nursery/playgroup then go and have a look at all your local ones and see if there is one you think would suit him best.

really, don't worry about moving him, they're fairly adaptable at that age and I think if you find somewhere that suits him better then he'll be happy there.
that said, if you suggest moving and he indicates a desire to stay where he is then i'd go with that!

thisisyesterday - thanks. I rang the council today and they are sending me info on alternatives. They were very helpful and insightful so I don;t feel like a loopy mum! He is at playschool tomorrow but dh is takig him. Maybe that will make a difference?? I do so want him to want to be there. I just feel that they don;t like him . He is not a gregarious, smiles for all type of child. He is much more selective . If he said he wanted to stay then I would let him of course but he is totally non-plussed by the whole thing

sorry, meant to say I do so want him to be happy there

I would go and visit the alternatives if possible and see if any of them are a better fit for your ds.

FWIW he sounds lovely and I bet there are other playschools out there who would love to have him.

coppertop - thankyou. I am looking in to that next week when my list arrives

how odd! ds went to playschool todya without any complaint and came out beaming frmo ear to ear? I guess it is not as bad as I had thought