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DS does not like his nursery... WWYD?

9 replies

harimosmummy · 25/11/2009 09:11

I have recently enrolled my 18MO in a local nursery for 2 sessions a week - just for a little socialisation away from me.

He really hasn't settled in at all and the last two times I have dropped him off, he has desperately not wanted to go in. I had to collect him within 30 minutes one time (Nursery said he was ill but he was fine when I picked him up and for the rest of the day) and within 2 hours on Monday because he refused to settle.

The nursery are saying that this is perfectly normal and I have to keep going with it... but DS seems desperately upset and he is usually a very happy, cheerful, confident and outgoing little boy.

If this was the first time he was away from me, I would be more comfortable with it, but he has (in the last two weeks) stayed with my parents (who he doesn't see very often) and my nanny (who usually looks after my DD not DS though he does know her) without any separation issues.

On top of this, he goes to several classes and is extremely independant in all of them... He is certainly no limpet and he also attends a nursery / creche attached to my gym and runs in there without any problem (has from day one) and I'm not there with him then either.

So, WWYD? i guess what I'm really looking for is validation that I'm right to take him out of the nursery or a kick up the backside if I am being PFB (He is and I am!! )

Any comments would really be appreciated.

Just as an aside, not sure it's relevant, but he is enrolled in afternoon sessions, which aren't really ideal... would it be worth moving him to morning sessions?

HM

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
racmac · 25/11/2009 09:36

I wouldnt bother taking him - he doesnt need socialisation - he will be quite happy with you and other adults and going to baby groups - if he's not happy then dont take him - its supposed to be fun for him and it doesnt sound like he's having much fun.

What are your instincts telling you?

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 25/11/2009 09:43

If you're just doing it for socialisation I'd leave it a bit until he is over 2 and nearer to 2.5. In full-time, or closer to full-time, nursery care they do develop "friendships" even at this age, but I don't think (this based purely on personal observation and no proper research whatsoever, so I could be well off beam) that happens at this age on the basis of just a couple of sessions a week. And they won't really start to get cooperative play, as opposed to parallel play, until they are 2-2.5.

bogie · 25/11/2009 09:47

my ds started nursery 2 mornings at 18 months and it took him a little while to settle I was thinking about removing him untill one day when he started screaming for me to stay I stepped out of the class and watched through a window and when I was out of sight he just got up and started playing with his friends.
He is still at the nursery/school now (he is nearly 4) and he loves it more than ever and tell's me he misses nursery at the weekends!

harimosmummy · 25/11/2009 09:54

Thanks guys.

Bogie - I do agree with you, but on Monday, I actually waited for 10 minutes outside (he couldn't see me) and he Definitely didn't settle down.

my gut feeling is to take him out. He has a varied social life, both with and away from me. And I don't think it's fair to put him through something he patently doesn't like.

HM

OP posts:
racmac · 25/11/2009 10:06

If your gut instinct is to take him out - then listen to your instinct - its there for a reason

fumanchu · 25/11/2009 17:52

I think he's a little too young - he'd get a lot more out of it if he were 2-3. maybe he still needs an afternoon nap and is too tired as well. I think playgroups are great for kids but wait a bit longer.

harimosmummy · 25/11/2009 18:02

Thankyou guys,

I really appreciate the comments.

Fumanchu - he DOES still need his nap...

He loves the nursery attached to the gym I use, so I am going to just take him there. It means me spending more time at the gym, but I seem to be able to avoid exercise there most of the time so that should be fine!!

Thanks again, I really appreciate knowing it's OK... I know the manager at the nursery is going to give me a hard time!!

HM

OP posts:
HSMM · 25/11/2009 18:18

Maybe it's just too loud for him?

Knickers0nMaHead · 25/11/2009 22:05

Could he be tired?

Do you think it is worth trying him in the morning session first before you take him out completely?

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