Boy vs Girls - Already???

[AndiMac]

My daughter just started preschool this September. I was a bit surprised when talking to her after preschool one day that she told me, "I don't play with boys. Boys aren't my friends". No, I was more than a bit surprised, I was shocked actually. I asked the head the next time about it she didn't seem concerned about it. The last few times I've dropped her off I've watched and there really does seem to be a boy-girl divide in the class. Maybe not completely, but definitely not much interaction at least in the first 5-10 minutes.

Is this normal here in the UK? I grew up in Canada and I remember distinctly playing with boys as much as girls in my first few years of school (never went to preschool). I'm really a bit upset about this. I can't quite put my finger on why, but it seems strange to me that A: Three and four year old kids are gender segregated already and B: The teachers don't seem to find anything unusual in this.

Can anyone clue me in?

it's sad isn't it?
ds1 was happy playing with anyone and everyone until his last year of nursery when he became friendly with a couple of very boy-y boys who informed him that he isn't allowd to like pink, or girls

as a society we segregate them at a very early age- look in ELC, boy version, or pink girl version. a very visual segregation which is clear to the children themselvs. boys play with these dinosaurs and trucks, girls play with these pink frilly fairies. TV plays a part too, and they're bombarded with it from the get-go

My DS is 3.5, and he's very happy to play with girls. In fact the only children who he has wanted to have over to play are girls

Ds has just turned 4 and is just getting to the stage of rejecting pink things. He was happily pushing his friends dolls pram around the park at the start of the summer but I don't think that will last much longer.

However, he is happy to play with girls and often mentions playing with both girls and boys at pre school. The majority of the children he plays with outside of pre school are girls too.

Interesting. It would be good to get a few more people with their experience.

Anyone? I guess I'm trying to find if this is usual for the UK or if I would be justified having a chat with the head about this as a concern.

DD (3.5) also tells me that she doesn't like boys and only plays with girls. Except that is for the 2 boys she does play with quite a lot. and the boys she doesn't mind running round the playground with. So I don't think the gender divide is necessarily as cut and dried as she makes out.

That said, her "best" friends are all girls and the girls at pre-school do seem to be in more of a "clique" while the boys change friends on the basis of who is nearest.

We had a similar situation with one of our children in school nursery, which came as a surprise because our other child had so many playmates of the opposite sex. So I think it must depend on that group's dynamics. We did some social engineering by doing some play dates outside nursery and the balance was restored!

I have found that as a rule a group of children that age tends to separate into girls and boys for much of the time, but individual girls will still play with individual boys and vice versa, even if they don't say so.

DS is nearly five and in Reception. It's hard to find out who he's playing with at break time, but it certainly includes girls some of the time.

Thanks everyone. I feel somewhat reassured by your responses that maybe it's not quite how she makes it out to be. I go in next week to help for a session, so maybe that will give me a better idea of how things work.