Independence & free choice at pre-school - how much is too much?

[lechatnoir]

I gather pre-school is all about gaining independence, free choice etc but I feel like my DS (3.9) would benefit from a little more guidance from the teachers but am unsure what is the norm or reasonable. For example, he play with the same 3 boys at every session (he can name just 1 girl there!) and they always seem to play with either the cars or trains or role-play knights & dragons. I've had 1 picture this entire term but see other children taking stuff some fantastic stuff home .

Now AIBU to expect the staff to separate the boys occasionally and try to encourage new & different friendships? The 3 boys play well together but are very boyish (ie bit rough & tumble & physical) and of course the more time they spend together the more boisterous they seem to be getting! DS is also a great creature of habit and he can quite happily play the same toy/game/train set over & over & over again whereas I was hoping pre-school would give him a bit more variety - he plays cars & trains at home so I'm a bit that he does the same there too.

Nursery do have a great variety of activities many of which are child-led, but again, it's their choice as to whether they partake or not. This week for example the craft topic was castles & knights on DS request, but he choose not to do it so it all seems a bit pointless.

Any thoughts or advice?
LCN

DS is 3.8 and very fixated on the same books, toys, kids at pre-school and I know from speking to his teachers at parents evening (!) they try to encourge him to branch out a bit, I'd bet your sons teacher does the same, but bring it up and see what they say.
In general though I wouldn't worry, he's 3 none of it matters, so long as he enjoys being there - he's learning no matter what he's doing, probably more than any 3yo would ever need to.

unfortunately this is all about the EYFS and how the government want the settings to be. You are right, everything has to be child led. Children can not be made to do activities anymore, as teachers and child carers we are expected to provide the opportunities for play and learning but it is up to the child to choose what they want to do.

It is difficlt as free flow is the big buzz word from OFSted at the moment. My ds's nursery got criticised because they children didn;t chosoe who to sit with for lunch (though they did at snack times at lunchtimes the staff sat them according to who wouldn't mess about with each other and who had allergies etc.)

I do agree with you though. Ds's nursery were brave enought to say to the parents OFSTEd said this but we beleive this.

I agree the main thing is enjoyment at this age & I'm certainly not bemoaning a lack of formal tutoring/education, but it's frustrating when I know he would actually enjoy the extra variety.

At home for example, given the chance would either watch TV all day or play trains/cars but given that I don't (usually ) let him and do try to get him doing a few other things so I can see how much he enjoys painting or cooking & how much fun he has playing doctors/mums & dads with my niece etc but I know he'd still never actively choose these activities.

My ds is just the same, would constantly watch Thomas the tank/Fireman Sam/Special Agent Oso all day or play with his trains but really enjoyed the activities at nursery.

He is now in Year 1 and just the same.

I do think there should be a balance and OFSTED/EYFS should recognise this.

i run an afterschool club and im dreading having to tell the parents of some chidren that they havent made a card or calendar or any christmas stuff! OBVIOUSLY they will have the opportunity to do the activity BUT some kids choose not too and there is nothing i can do!

I think it has all gone a bit too far. We are in danger of creating power-crazed monsters who never have to do as they are asked. I'm all for speaking to children respectfully and nicely but sometimes they just have to do as they're told. I've witnessed at my dd2's preschool, a child wanted to go outside in the rain and freezing cold without his coat and just a T shirt and they had to let him as it was "his choice".....

Hi choice to go out and if he gets too cold he will come back in again. They need to think for themselves as well as having guidance. I've seen both ways of doings things, helped out at local pre-school as a parent helper for many years and the old way of doing things was not very productive.
Ok little Johnny came home with a Xmas gift for mum and dad, but he hated every moment of making it!
Some kids are more artistic than others and some just want to run and play all day.
That is the WHOLE basis of EYFS......learning through play.
And don't forget they carry on doing this in Reception where they bring in more 'carpet time' and encourage children to speak in front of their peers and the teachers.
Much better system all round and it makes all childcare practisioners think about what they are doing and to look at each child as an individual instead of a round peg to be beaten into a square hole.

Wish MN had an 'edit' button..sorry for misspellings.

runoutofideas, but that's how children learn, by doing things for themselves.
I bet the next time that little boy wanted to go outside, he wore his coat.
It's the same concept as toilet training. The child needs to experience being wet or pooing in their pants as an unpleasant experience. They then realise the alternative (using the toilet) is preferable.
I love the EYFS.