4 YEAR OLD DS DUE TO STRAT SCHOOL IN SEP BUT HAS STARTED CRYING AND NOT WANTING TO GOT TO NURSERY :(

[shoneshine]

Our eldest ds goes to nursery school 3 full days a week. He has been going since last september and loved it until he had the easter hols off and then off w sickness. Now hes crying when we say its time for nursery, saying his tummy, throat hurt, says he hasnt got any friends and says his friends hurt him and dnt like him ((
I know how he feels as I had a time in year 1 when the teacher had to drag me in crying.
I would keep him off but hes starting school in Sep and I cant let him think he can stay off with a few tears but I also dont want him to be unhappy!
There is the option of him going to the pre school on same site where dd aged 3 has just started but the nursery he attends mixes with reception and he also sees a speech therapist once a week there as his speech is slow. Dds preschool would be a step backwards really as they just play mostly and are alot younger.
I do worry that his slow speech is affecting him socially now I feel quite helpless. Think a meeting with his teacher might help though staff seem to think hes fine. Do you think I should believe him when he says people hurt him and dnt like him???
He also says he misses me and ds aged 11m when hes at nursery. Imagine how hard hel find school if he hates nursery! Grateful for any suggestions/commiserations!Xx

I can commiserate. DS is the same age, he has started not wanting to go to pre school, I think they do start to pick up that change is coming. I have spoken to the staff and a number of the children are unsettled at the moment. I think in your situation I would stick with it, there is a lot of change coming so it may be more change for change sake. My DS is the youngest of 3 and enjoys being the 'baby', I think he resents the expectation that he is going to grow up and go to school like his brother and sister!

Just a couple of very quick things:

as geogteach suggests, part of the problem might be that he's coming towards the end of his time there. Maybe the games that used to engage him are now too easy / sameold, sameold, and he's utterly fed up.

The other thing is to try not to worry too much about his speech (easier said than done, I do know!). My DD had a lot of problems with disordered / unclear speech and was referred to the speech therapist. However, other children just accepted that this was how she spoke. The progress she's made since starting school is amazing - I hope it turns out that way for your little one too.

I'd definitely have a quick word with his key worker but I'd go with the mindset that you're going to stick with it. It's late in the day to be changing settings and if you just keep him home it could set a dangerous precedent for September.

My DS did this a few months back (he also starting in Sept) and I thought it was to do with big boy school.

However, now I hardly get a kiss before he's rushing off into the nursery to play with his friends.

It may just be a phase, not related to school.

I just dealt with it by saying "dont you? well, thats a shame because x, y and z will be wanting to play with you and they'll be sad if you dont go". I also let him take a toy in each day to show his friends, that seemed to help too.