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Preschool education

Get advice from other Mumsnetters to find the best nursery for your child on our Preschool forum.

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Original poster

I still can't believe that nursery managed to lose my DS yesterday

24 replies

RedOnHerHead · 14/05/2009 00:57

I couldn't sleep last night without having nursery nightmares!

DH dropped of DS(4) at nursery yesterday afternoon - he said to Miss X that DS's mother will pick him up later. DH said goodbye to DS and went.

fast forward 2.5 hours.

Stood at the school gates waiting for DS to be let out and I was informed by some parents that one of the mums found him out on the road crying for Daddy, so she took him back in. He was outside not only the nursery gate, but the adjoining school gate too!

Mrs Z called me in and her words were something along the lines of "your DS had managed to get out somehow and we have had a good talk with him and he's said he won't do it again....... we can't remember him coming into nursery this afternoon, but he must have come in because he had his nametag in his hand"

So even though they didn't know he was there in the first place (apparently - even though my husband spoke directly to Miss X) they acknowledged the fact that he must have been there, because he was carrying his card.

I was so calm at the time that I just thanked the mum who brought him back, but afterwards I realised just how serious it was. I was kind of numb at the time if that makes sense?

Anyway..... we went to see the Headmistress this morning, unannounced, and she had no idea about it! They hadn't even informed the Head! She was very shocked and very apologetic. She is launching a full investigation immediately and letting us know the outcome.

Needless to say - he's not going back there - he has a place at another nursery and we're filling all the forms in tomorrow.

I'm so upset about what has happened. About the fact that it happened in the first place.... the fact that they didn't phone me to soften the blow first and that the other mums told me first..... the fact that they pretty much told my son he was naughty and didn't offer any apology or explaination. (yes he was naughty in getting out, but at the same time he is only 4 and there should be security in place to make sure he couldn't get out.

Anyway......
I just had to share this with you all.
Tomorrow when you take your child to nursery, make sure the lock the doors behind you and if they don't - then tell them to. My DS is fine thankfully, but it doesn't bear thinking about what could have happened.

Thanks for listening.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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drivinmecrazy · 14/05/2009 01:00

Am shocked. DDs nursery has buzzer in and out. No one can get out without some one knowing. How terrifying.
I would be up in arms. Would love to turn up to find DD2 missing

littleboyblue · 14/05/2009 01:02

Poor you. But you made a very good point at the end there, it doesn't bear thinking about.
I know it's awful, I've 'lost' ds1 at playgroup twice now! The little shit devil is a criminal mastermind!
But the important thing, as you know, is that your ds is safe. He was found, I imagine, fairly quickly, and he is safe. Please try not to torture yourself with the what if's. He is fine, and hopefully this new nursery will be a bit more on the ball.

MoominMymbleandMy · 14/05/2009 01:22

I am shocked that a nursery could be so appallingly lax. And I thoroughly sympathise with your distress. Your poor DS, and poor you.

JennyPenny22 · 14/05/2009 01:39

Thats awful. Do you know HOW he got out?

nappyaddict · 14/05/2009 02:52

If it's adjoined to a school i could see how they could maybe get out. At the nursery i went to look round the other week i was concerned cos the nursery was just another classroom off the main school building so no extra security apart from relying in there always being someone on the main reception to stop them going out the main doors.

pottycock · 14/05/2009 07:20

that is bloody awful -there is no excuse for that imo, he just was not being looked after properly.

giraffesCantRunA10k · 14/05/2009 07:31

How scary! And it concerns me more their attitude towards it, it begs the question if the parents hadnt seen...would they have told you?

thesockmonsterofdoom · 14/05/2009 07:37

that is absolutly disgusting, glad they are going to investigate.

cory · 14/05/2009 09:31

Their attitude is even more scary than the fact that he got out in the first place: it suggests that they wouldn't stop it from happening again. They can't remember him coming in- don't they even take a register?

JennyPenny22 · 14/05/2009 10:13

I used to work in a school nursery and I honestly can't see how it would happen - we used to lock gates and door as soon as parents left.

ouchitreallyhurts · 14/05/2009 18:42

the nursery attached to our school at one point sent the 3 year olds to the toilet with one 4 year old. toilets were other side of school - scared the hell out of me.
I can totally understand how shaken you feel, this is really bad.
the fact they didn't tell the head either...

thecloudhopper · 14/05/2009 18:49

To be honest though working in a school myself it is easily done a child can dissapear in the matter of seconds. Just think about being in a supermarket you take ure eyes off for 2 seconds and the have dissapeared further on or something else has caught their eye. I rember a child had hid under a table and if I hadn't had been looking for him to do his reading we the staff wouldnt have noticed him gone. I am not saying it wasnt wrong but things do happen.

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 14/05/2009 18:51

My DS was found out in the middle of the road by another parent on his first day, he was only 2.7 years old at the time. I had actually been waiting for him outside with the other parents but a member of staff had been talking to me, blocking my view of the door and his view of me.

The other staff didn't notice that he had walked out at the same time as another child, he wasn't sure what to do as was his first day and I think when he found himself outside he decided to walk home as we only lived round the corner and he knew the way as he took his big sister to school every day.

The nursery were hugely apologetic and listened to what I suggested for a change in pick up procedure, but I felt I couldn't relax with him there ever again, I felt really sick at the time for ages about it.

My friend's DH is the manager of a sports centre and reported himself to Ofsted following an incident at the creche at his sports centre. He told me at the time I should report them.

I didn't as I was too shocked and believed that it would never happen again. I wish I had as it appears that there had been incidents before and after DS which have all been covered up.

Hope you are OK and do get some sleep tonight.

Tamarto · 14/05/2009 18:57

'I am not saying it wasn't wrong but things do happen.'

They do, but it's how it's dealt with afterwards that makes or breaks a situation. Blaming a 4 year old for their lack of care is appalling.

Original poster

RedOnHerHead · 15/05/2009 12:04

The nursery forms part of the school as a whole, but it's a separate building - so there should be no way of escaping. The bolt is supposed to be on at all times and the bolt is at the top of the door - so I am presuming the bolt wasn't bolted.

One member of staff who works there lives near me and she spoke to the main nursery teacher and asked if my DS had been in that day - the techer said no - neighbour asked did she think it was anything to do with the incident - teacher said "Oh no I don't think so, his mum was probably just punishing him for what he did"!!!!! Neighbour said she just had no idea that I was annoyed with them! I can't say anything about this conversation with the head though, because my neighbours job would be at stake.

I agree that things happen - but something like this should not happen. Anyway - I'm getting DS ready now to start his first day at new nursery.

Wish him luck!

OP posts:

JennyPenny22 · 15/05/2009 18:29

Hope it went ok today. x

giraffesCantRunA10k · 16/05/2009 10:52

How was it?

Original poster

RedOnHerHead · 17/05/2009 21:34

He loved it!
put my mind at ease straight away when he had to sit in the circle as soon as he got there for registration and the door was locked behind me.

the teacher said he mixed well with the other children and settled in well. They have a timetable too, unlike the other one, so its more structured, rather than just playtime.

All in all, a great start.
thanks all

oh, and I still havent heard from the head - am looking forward to the findings.

will update you as soon as i can.

OP posts:

squirrel42 · 18/05/2009 23:48

Have you checked whether the nursery/preschool have reported the incident to Ofsted? That have to notify Ofsted of "significant events" within 14 days, and it's certainly arguable that losing a child is significant! If they haven't told Ofsted then you can notify them yourselves and then Ofsted will also monitor the internal investation and review the management's "action plan" for preventing it from happening again. You can either contact Ofsted by email from their website, writing or by phone.

thell · 19/05/2009 00:24

Cripes, Red, if the teacher's attitude was that is was your DS's fault and not hers, then I think you should definitely make sure it's reported to Ofsted. They should be pushed into having appropriate and safe procedures in place.

LilMiss · 11/06/2009 23:46

you should report them to ofsted!! that is awful, it should never have happened!!
theres no excuse for 4 year old to go missing from a nursery or pre school

wotulookinat · 12/06/2009 00:01

Oh god, anything could have happened. I'm glad he's ok, and I don't blame you at all for withdrawing him from there.

ilovechoclate · 12/06/2009 00:02

OMG!! that is shocking, i'm not surprised you changed nurseries. The teachers reaction to blame your son was disgusting.

Hope your son is much happier and safer in his new nursey.

ADealingMummy · 22/06/2009 19:25

Please, please report them to Ofsted .
My DD starts preschool in a few months, and I couldn't stand the thought of her ''escaping , and noone noticing.

Glad your son is ok .

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