How terrible is it if DS starts pre-school still in pull-ups?

[MandMand]

Hello,

My DS turns 3 in July and will be starting pre-school for 5 mornings a week in September. He's still nowhere near potty trained, can't/won't tell me when he needs to go, and doesn't seem the least bit concerned by a wet/dirty nappy or even if he wets himself in pants.

I know there's still a few months to go, but I'm starting to worry about what the pre-school staff or other parents will think if I send him to pre-school still wearing nappies. The manager has said that it would be OK, and that a bit of peer-pressure would probably soon help him get the hang of it, but would the staff really think that I was a lazy mum or possibly resent having to change nappies on a 3 year old?

I was faced with this a few years ago. The advice from dd's creche was no more nappies and being regularly sat on the potty. We got through a lot of washing, but she got the hang of it, and when she started in the September had very, very few accidents.

I don't think it's at all uncommon TBH. Both my ds' had at least 1 child in each of their groups still in nappies when they started.

Our playgroup was great and had no issues. DS2 was only just toilet trained when he started and they were really good at prompting him to go and sorting out accidents.

You're certainly not a lazy mum, children are all different, some take longer to get the hang of it than others

Tis a long time between now and September. He might surprise you. DD turned 3 in July and was due to start preschool 2 months later and was not ready to PT in April. But then she got it in July. We used chocolate buttons and a very relaxed attitude. She has had lots of accidents but we found out they were mostly because she was frightened of using the communal toilets (a bit smelly, lots of flushing, handdryers etc).

It's great that your PS staff are supportive. Potty training is about the child's brain developing so that they know in advance when they are going to wee which gives them time to get to the toilet without wetting themselves. Like walking and talking, it happens at different ages for different kids. Your DS might not be ready yet but I am sure he will get there

If he goes to preschool in pull ups, no problem. He may take more of an interest if other children are using the loo/potty. Lots of children are later in being potty trained and it's not such a stigma (fond memories of my relatives stories of 12mth olds being dry night and day overnight!).

But, don't despair, we thought DS2 would be going to school in pull ups, such was his disinterest in the potty/loo. No signs at all. One day I just set time aside and we spent the whole day around the potty, he had far more successes than failures.

DS2 was 3 in March and we tried to potty train him (again!) a few weeks later. He is now dry, he took to it far easier than his brother who was potty trained at 2yrs old (showing all the signs etc).
Get some nice big boy pants in (let him choose them) and start using the potty at a certain time every day, to ease him in. We did this at 6pm, whilst DS2 watched some cbeebies.
DS2 is now doing "big boy stand up wees" (his words) of which he is very proud and likes to show everyone who he comes into contact with!!!!

Thanks everyone. I'm going to keep trying to get him out of nappies but its reassuring to know its not the end of the world if he's not managed it by September.

if your child was in a private day nursery, we would def be encouraging you to bite the bullet and put him in pants, i work into the 2-3 room and if we feel a child is ready to move up, they are dry, i def think it is in yours and childs best interest to try your hardest to get them dry, even with my two year olds they make a clear defintion between those in the room in pants and those not 'they are a baby' i quote, although we tell them they are not, they are still learning or something a long those line. I agree with PortoPandemico go straight to pants, use stickers or choclate buttons when he performs, sit him on the potty regularly, use specific 'big boy' pants that have a specific character he likes on them or ones he has chosen himself as a reward for having a good couple of days

Right, I've taken the bull by the horns this week and put him into pants. After lots of tears and tantrums for the first few days (from both of us), he's now managing more wees on the potty than accidents. Luckily the weather has been good so we've been out in the garden a lot and not going too stir crazy at home. At this rate of progress, by September he should have got the hang of it. I just hope that the shock of the new baby brother or sister arriving in around 3 weeks time doesn't send him back to square one.