DD fell over at nursery today, really need some advice as feel unhappy....

[npg1]

Hi everyone. Try not to make this too long!

DD2 started montessori preschool in Jan. Has been getting on very well there and is now settled. Apart from.......

The 'main' teacher J has not been there as often as I would like her to be. When DD first started J was there both sessions that DD went a week and DD really bonded with her and followed her around. There must have been 6+ times this term that she hasnt been there and not sure how it affects DD. I dont really know the other ladies, the one that take over from J is her mum and is an older lady who has done her training and used to own the nursery. (one reason DD1 didnt go there, because I didnt like this lady) Little did I know it is now her daughter running it.

Today I picked up DD, J not there so this lady let me in and said DD has had a little accident, she tripped over the concrete step and has a slight fat lip. I didnt make a big deal of it, DD very upset. Got her in the car and brought her home.

It clearly isnt a slight fat lip, her lip is huge and looks like her teeth have gone through it. It's very painful and they hadnt even cleaned it up properly.

I am very upset that they didnt even phone me to tell me.

Am I over reacting or should i give J a ring when I have calmed down and talk to her?

Sorry to hear your poor DD hurt herself, hope she (and you!) are feeling better soon. Can only speak from my own experience at state school and nursery, but whenever my children have had accidents they always come home with a little note saying exactly what, when and where it happened and there is usually photocopied advice on what to do (eg signs of concusion if it's a head bumpt etc). I would definitely ask for a proper explanation, and maybe try to speak to the teacher to find out why she is absent, exactly who is in charge when she's not there etc. My DS2's teacher is often not in class but I always assumed it was for training/timetabling etc as she is head of the infants aswell as class teacher. If you are worried, go to the GP too.

I work at a school and we would only ring if it is a head injury or if the child needs to go to hospital.

Maybe she had just done it? Maybe the swelling devloped later. There should be an accident book so why not ask to have a look at that and see what was done.

Hi, thanks for your advice.

They had written in an accident book and I signed it.

I know the teacher has been on training days so yes today she was probably on one of those. I also know her children go to private school and I know my DD1 finished school last friday and her children have probably finished to and I was wondering if she has taken the week off.

How do I ask the teacher why she hasnt been there without being rude?! I feel I need to ring her to ask for a full explanation about DD fall.

I know when DD1 fell over in the playground at school several months ago I got a phone call and was asked to pick her up as she had put her teeth through her lip nd they wernt sure she needed stitches. I know Dd2 lip is not needing stitches but it would have been nice to have been phoned and told she had fallen as when I picked her up she was really upset and was still upset when we got home and that is really heartbreaking for me, she is only 2.5yrs old!

Tell me if im over reacting though!

I think you are over reacting on both points npg. The fall was clearly an accident and of course it hurt etc but if they called every parent every time a child fell over there would be no time to teach! As for the absence of the teacher, no teacher will be there 100% of the time and it is good IMo for a child not to get to devoted to one teacher but get used to dealing with a variety of teachers. Sorry if that is a bit harsh

um. yes, i think your overreacting too. You are paying for her to attend pre-school. There is no rule that states your child has continuous care from the same person. That's called a nanny!

secondly, if no hospital visit was required then they have done the correct thing in noting the accident in the book and asking you to sign it. The lip has probably swollen up as time has gone by.

Hi, sorry to hear about your little girl x I worked in a nursery / playgroup and I have to agree that as long as it was put in the accident book, then a parent wouldn't be called unless it was a serious injury. Lips are terrible for swelling even with a small knock and look alot worse than they feel.

From what you say, I can tell your not fully happy with the other members of staff looking after your little one and would prefer it if J was there full time. Unfortunately though, this obviously isn't the case so I think you need to reconsider whether you still want your DD to attend or not.

I think if i was the teacher i,d wonder why i had to explain to you why i was,nt there! do people not have days off ill,holiday etc.Also a full explaination of what??? its a accident! these things happen everyday,does your dd never fall over etc at home?.Was,nt nice for your dd but she,ll be ok

I think you are over reacting
Accidents do happen
today, in our pre-school we had 3 and we only had 15 children in
we get days like that, no accidents for months and then 3 in 1 day, which is unusual for us
and no, we don't phone the parents. What would that achieve? We write it in the accident book and the parent signs it. End of.

I have my own key children, and spend most of the day with them, but I also have time off.

Children in a group care situation are given just that. Group care.
If you want one to one get a nanny.

And I get very annoyed when parents make no effort to learn my name, even though I wear a name badge and speak to them every day. I am "the lady" to some of them. That is just downright ignorant.
Maybe you should make more of an effort to get to know the other staff? They will spend their time looking after your DD.

Over reaction on your part.

If they rang every parent every time a child fell over they would never be off the phone! Lip swelling is a gradual thing - and maybe they cleaned it as best as your dd would let them? She'll hardly have liked having it touched will she?

Regarding the teacher issue - if you aren't happy for your child to be looked after by a variety of carers your only option is to keep her at home. In any other setting there will be some variety of staff. Sounds like your dd is coping fine as you say she has settled well.

Tbh - I think you need to take some deep breaths and calm down.

agree accidents happen. If they hadn't been able to calm her I'm sure they wodul have called. Maybe she was reluctant to let them clean it up more than superficially.

The presence of the manager would make no difference to whether it had happened or not. It sounds like they followed protocol too. By all means ask for more detail especially if your dd cannot explain or contardicts what you were told, but it won't really change things for your dd.

do you know what we can use to clean up after accidents?

water, that's it!

water and a care wipe (which is a babywipe without the lotion)

I have calmed down about it more now.

I was not saying I wanted her to have one to one, otherwise I would have got a nanny, yes your right. I was more concerned that she was very upset when I picked her up and she came running up to me crying and cried all the way home. I was worried she was crying for the rest of the session and they hadn't called me, but im sure this didnt happen and this is why I wanted to speak to them about it.

I also felt guilty that it had happened while not in my car but yes I know these things happen. I used to be a nanny!

was she upset by your reaction though?

Things always seem worse to children when mummy is there -honestly