Why would they put DS in a group with a speech and language therapist when he hasn't got any communication difficulties?

[flimflammum]

Pre-school leader just asked my permission to put DS (3.6) in a group of 6 children with a SLT to help him with turn-taking and sharing. I said isn't that a behaviour issue rather than speech and language one, but she said he isn't very good at communicating what he wants to other children (i.e. he gets frustrated and sometimes pushes etc).

Thing is, DS is very bright (e.g. they have just started him on reading words), a very early talker with the vocabulary of a 5 year old now. He was very happy in pre-school last year, when he was in the lower age group (it's split into two rooms), no problems with behaviour, always loved it there. Since then he's had a little sister, and we've been abroad for most of last term, and I've had the odd report of him hitting another child or not doing what he's told by the staff, but nothing major, and they've never approached me formally with any concerns. I raised the issue with the leader while she was helping me with some bags of jumble (!) of whether his behaviour was any worse than a typical 3-yr-old and she said no, but that he's not so good with the social skills (she compared him to her son who is also bright). She said perhaps they need to stretch him more (hence the reading, which he is keen to do).

Basically I think he's very stubborn and, as they put it 'knows his own mind', and like most 3 and a half year olds, isn't that good at sharing (though he does play nicely with his friend next door). His behaviour at home has been worse since I had DD, and I know that's down to jealousy and I try to deal with it.

I dont' know what I'm asking really (sorry for long post). Any SLTs out there who think putting him in this group (with some children who 'need to be brought out of themselves') makes any sense?

Is the group smaller than usual? Could they be putting him in the group so that he gets a bit more attention than normal?

I think it makes a good deal of sense, they are likely to be doing a lot of turn taking and social exercises, teaching them how to wait for things (an issue with children with speech problems becau7se they can't ask for a turn, so they quickly learn to snatch)

Being bright is no indication of social skills, ds1 is bright but lacks social skills.

It can't hurt him, certainly.

MmeLindt: yes it's 6 kids, I imagine they take them out for half an hour or something.

Coldtits: I know being bright is no indication of social skills, I think more often the opposite is true. That's partly my point.

Communication is about a lot more than speech. Sometimes think SALTs should change their name to reflect that, actually! It sounds like he could maybe use a bit of help with communicating when he's frustrated and accepting limits when necessary. Can do no harm, as coldtits says. But you're right- he sounds like many a 3 year old and I doubt you have any need to worry.

As a mother of a child with special needs I see alot of the SALT and have a huge amount of input into the pre-school as a result.

As Coldtits points out, communication is not just about talking, it's the whole social aspect that is worked on by SALTs.

Also you sound to have had alot of disruption over the past few months, that is all going to have an effect on you DS. My DD's are 4 and 2 - it took DD1 a long long time to get used to DD2. in fact it is only recently I can leave them alone in a room without warfare breaking out! Things will get easier - just give DS a little time for things to settle and enjoy the extra atention he's geeting at pre-school.

I think it's a real shame that the nursery seem to have presented it as a group for only some children to address perceived "deficits". Puts your back up and makes you worried if you think your child's been singled out because there is a problem, no matter how minor- and a non-sharing 3 year old who gets frustrated by other kids sometimes is v v v v v minor, imo, especially when you factor in a new sibling! My twins were in SALT run groups at nursery, because all the children were. They both had fun and probably benefited. One would probably have been selected on the basis of need- he had a stammer- but no attention was drawn to that because everyone participated.

Thanks all, esp Scummy. You're right, I think it has thrown me a bit, but I'll get over it, and if he enjoys it and even learns something then fine. The cynical bit of me thinks maybe they have a couple children with a real need for a SALT and thought, who else could we put in the group to make the numbers up?

If it helps him with turn taking with his little sister then it's definitely worth it though, I know what you mean about war breaking out!

FWIW I think that these groups are being phased in all over the country, and part of the key is that 'model' children are put with children who struggle more for them.

So your DS may be a 'model' of 'speaking' skills, but learn a little more about social communication within it too.

I think they would be looking at thye language your child undertands. He may be good with speaking but his actual understanding of what someone has said to him may be limited they may want top descover if their is a problem.
Hope that helps