Pre-school's feedback on ds

[chipmunkswhereareyou]

I had a meeting with ds's keyworker at the preschool he goes to. I couldn't help feeling that she glossed over the things he's relatively good at and wasn't that balanced about him.

So barely a mention of the fact he can read some words (at 3.5!) but lots of focus on the fact he can't draw for toffee (my words not hers!) "oh he's fine with letters and numbers " was about as positive as she got throughout - nothing about him being sweet or cheerful or whatever nice things one would or could say about a 3 year old!

Now of course I know that she needs to focus on the development areas but I just came away feeling a bit flat.

Anyway it wasn't a huge problem but then another mum I know a bit asked me if I'd had my chat with the teacher (she's officially a nursery assistant). Everyone else she'd asked had had the main nursery teacher not the assistant apart from me and her but maybe she didn't ask everyone.

She started saying that she'd felt the teacher had been really imbalanced about her dd too (before I'd even said anything) and that she'd hardly said anything positive at all. She also said some things that were quite off the mark about both her dd to her and my ds to me (long story) now it could be that they don't do these things at nursery just at home BUT there were several things like this.

Should we say anything (obviously individually as I don't want the teachers to think we're ganging up or gossiping or for them to know we've discussed it).

Am I being unrealistic? Does it even matter?

Forgot to say in my rambling post that the other mum said she was actually quite upset about it.

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bumping for evening gang

Oh can't I just have one reply....please...I know it's a bit boring and trivial but...

It is nonsense though isn't it? they have to say something and all I want is for them to have fun and mess about with their little friends. I once cried all the way home from a nursery parents evening, and then next day told them how horrible they had been and how upsetting. But these days now I simply wouldn't bother even to turn up. I know exactly how my little dd is doing and she's doing absolutely fine.

I was hugely nervous about Dds first parents evening. It was like I was being assesed on the child I'd raised

My experience was completely opposite to yours - it was like the teacher had done some course on being positive to parents. I thin its attitude

Mabana - your last point is so right - it doesn't really matter that much what she said as I spend a lot more time with him. I guess I was a little more bothered for the other mum who was quite upset.

Message withdrawn

I'll be really interested in what they say dilemma as she is very similar to ds from the sounds of it. I bet they are much more positive than his teacher was!! I'm sure you've nothing to worry about.

I know he's doing fine but it bugs me that she was so negative and not more balanced!

I'm helped by the fact he's been going to another nursery two afternoons a week so I get their view too and they are much more balanced - I think if it were just the preschool I'd be more concerned!

Message withdrawn

shame the keyworker wasn't more positive and cheery, but it really doesn't matter you know.

Yes you're both right. It bothers me though that this other mum, who seems fairly balanced, was practically or actually reduced to tears because of the portrayal of her dd.
I wonder if it'd be worth somehow feeding back that she could perhaps be a bit more positive but I don't want it to be obvious that I've discussed it with the other mum as I'm sure there's nothing worse for teachers than mums ganging up on them!

Why not talk to the preschool leader and say that you and another parent both felt that the key worker could have been more positive so that more training could be arranged?

Parents evenings in preschool are quite new so maybe this person has never really been told how to do one?

I know when I was chair of our preschool I fed back the comments I got the first time we did reports to the play leader - saying everyone liked getting them but found Y's rather confusing, but all though X had done a brilliant job - so X took time in a staff meeting to talk about her approach to report writing and offered help to other staff the next time.

sounds like they need some feedback.