Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Preschool education

Get advice from other Mumsnetters to find the best nursery for your child on our Preschool forum.

Flip

Original poster

Dd doesn't want to do sports day....

13 replies

pucca · 23/06/2008 22:41

It is sports day tomorrow for dds pre school, and when i told her it is tomorrow she got in a right state, very very upset. She is just like me when i was a child, hates being centre of attention,very shy etc, i of course told her she doesn't have to do sports day (it is optional anyway) but she would have fun if she did do it, i don't want her to hate me for pushing her to do things, if that makes sense.

Dh said he disagreed with me, that she should do it, am i setting myself up here?

What do you all think?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

pucca · 23/06/2008 22:43

The way i looked at it, is that she is only 4, and there is plenty of time for sports day, i just don't want to make her do it, and knock her confidence further, she is the same with everything really, she won't dance in front of others, doesn't participate at parties.

Am i going to make her worse?

OP posts:

JamieOliverAteMyChickens · 23/06/2008 22:47

Aww don't force her. Ler her watch. My DD a year ago (now 5) used to hang around my legs at parties and would never have participated in a A sports Day, it used to drive me potty. Everyone elses kid would be having a great time and she'd be all mardy around my legs, refusing to join in.

She's now at school which has really brought her out of herself and last week I spent Wednesday watching her throwing herself into the School Sports Day having a whale of a time.

You wouldn't have believed it was the same child as a year ago.

Ecmo · 23/06/2008 22:49

my DS was like this. He still is really. He often won't join in with class pieces at end of term assemblies if I'm watching, he has messed up several nativities. I found it quite upsetting and hard not to react.

I used to clap and smile at the other children and pretend I really wasn't bothered when I REALLY wanted him to join in. He hates going to parties too. (he's nearly 7!)
I wouldn't push her to do it maybe she'll join in when she realises how much fun the otheres are having.

Spidermama · 23/06/2008 22:51

We're having just the same with my dd who's 9. It doesn't help that she came last, by a really long way, in the skipping race last year. She had her technique all messed up and had to endure sole skipping for half the race just to finish.

Anyway, I've said she doesn't have to go on that day, but tbh I'm just trying to give her a get out so she doesn't dread it so much. I'm hoping, and expecting, that she'll decide to give it a go in the end as she won't want to miss out.

I'm also going to take them all to the park to do a bit of practising and invite some pals along as a sort of dummy run, and make it as fun and lively as possible.

Spidermama · 23/06/2008 22:51

I was desperately self concious at school. It is very hard.

Original poster

pucca · 23/06/2008 22:53

Thanks everyone, she did do the nativity, she was a sheep so didn't do much, but she ended up falling off the stage, and everyone laughed (it was quite funny but my heart broke for her).

As i said, i was exactly the same, i do wish she would come out of herself a bit more, as she misses out on so much fun sometimes.

OP posts:

Spidermama · 23/06/2008 22:54

pucca there's a story by Shirley Hughes called 'Angel Mae' in which the girl falls off the chair during the nativity. It's lovely.

funnypeculiar · 23/06/2008 22:54

Ahhhhh.
Assume you're going to go? I'd just stay with her while you both watch & you point out how much fun everyone having, create sense of unbridled joy etc etc. And occasionally ask in very casual way if she fancies a go....

Fwiw, ds' first sports day (3.5) he burst into tears & sat on my knee until the last race, which he ran & loved. This year, 4.5, he ran everything and adored it

harpomarx · 23/06/2008 22:55

I think you're absolutely right, pucca and your dh is wrong. Sbe's only 4, she won't do it if you force her anyway - not unless you're allowed to run with her or whatever they do at pre-school sports day

it's supposed to be fun. Maybe on the day she will want to join in, wouldn't they let you play it by ear?

harpomarx · 23/06/2008 22:56

great minds, funnypeculiar - dd (nearly 4) always joins in at the end of things and has a great time.

Original poster

pucca · 23/06/2008 22:58

Yes i thought that i will put her shorts etc on, and just go and watch, and see how she feels.

The nativity thing, i was heart broken for her, i can still see her face now, she doesn't cry she just has this look on her face that only i know iykwim, i felt like crying for her. (mardy cow me lol).

OP posts:

funnypeculiar · 23/06/2008 23:09

Totally know what you mean about the nativity, pucca. Ds was Joseph last year and about half way through his head-dress thingy started falling off - he looked panic-struck & started getting this wobbly look in his eyes - such a struggle not to rush onto the stage & sort it out

izyboy · 25/06/2008 14:26

Well, I've just posted on the behaviour thread about my DS not wanting to join in with structured activity and not saying his line in the school play. It is difficult when all the other kids appear so 'sparky' and 'on it'. Our school has 'high expectations' even of the 4 year olds.

Thing is I always quite enjoyed being the centre of attention however my DH worries that DS has inherited his 'shyness' gene.

Flip