Nursery issues

[Symposium]

I’m looking for advice about my 3 year old nephew. He started school nursery in September but after day 1 was put on reduced hours. Initially we thought fine as he needed settling time, but it has not improved. They have concerns about his speech and language and he was assessed by a therapist who concluded he was all good and age appropriate. The school are not happy and have insisted he is assessed within the school setting but that won’t happen until the new year. He is only going in for 1.5 hours when it should be 3 hours. Sometimes they increase by 15 mins but whenever there is an issue, like one day he was upset and ripped a book, they send him home and cut his time by 15 mins again. They say he needs 121 and they can’t manage him! He is a lovely boy. He never hurts anyone . It’s possible he is autistic as it runs in our family and he does have some signs but surely the school should be able to manage him and not keep excluding him? I’m trying to help my sister in law as she is not from the UK and is struggling to understand the system and how to navigate everything. My brother is resistant to any mention of autism right now and seems to just go along with whatever the school say. I’ve suggested to my sister in law that she ask for a meeting with the school. I’ve offered to attend with her if they want and she’s going to talk with my brother about it. I’m not sure what other advice I can give them and I feel really sad and frustrated for them. Has anyone got any experience of this or can offer further advice?

I think your posts were fine! It seems really strange to me and I have a child the same age who is a bit speech delayed too. It doesnt make sense that they are sending him home for the reasons you said and it is definitely worth having a meeting as soon as you can. But would also look around for another provision. He has already missed out a lot of hours for this term.

I guess it depends if his behaviour is disrupting the routine and activities of the others. Is he too upset to participate, ripping books when thet are having storytime, throwing water at snack time or when he should be doing something else. Is his communication difficulty causing him frustration, is he selectively mute ? Ultimately she may decide to move him but she needs to work with the staff to try to manage his behaviour and get him support.

When he met with speech and language outside school he also spoke ok and they were given a report saying he was ok and age appropriate. My sister in law told school this but she felt that their reaction was quite rude. It was like they didn’t believe her. They asked to see the report then said he needed to be assessed again within the school setting.

a) they would need a copy of the report for his file
b) In my LA, the SaLT would automatically liaise with the Nursery, and would often come and observe the child in the Nursery to see how the child reacts in that setting. It is basic good practice. It isn't a case of 'not believing' it is experience of working with hundreds of children over many years

• it it really, really common for children to behave differently at Nursery and at home (speech can also be part of that behaviour)
• parents' perceptions of what their dc can do can often be quite different from professionals who work with lots of 3 year olds day after day, week after week, year after year
• as has been said by pps, the whole scaffolding that a child has in their home, where they are the only child is completely different from being part of a larger group, with different adults that they obviously don't know as well as their parents, and with other dc being unpredictable

Of course, the Nursery could be dire. It happens. Just like in any profession there are wide varieties from rubbish to brilliant. But the Nursery is quite right to not put much credence on a report of a single assessment by a SaLT who has not seen how he responds in Nursery.

It could be his reaction to strangers. Most children grow out of it. You must get him to start reading alot of books.