Is it okay to skip preschool?

[TheMaryClaire]

Hi mums! My DD is now 4 years old and has always been taken care of by a nanny. I'm very satisfied with the part-time nanny we hired to help me while I'm looking after my one-year-old DS. She's very attentive to my DD's development, and my DD likes her to be around. I'm just wondering if it will affect her once she starts attending regular school. Is it okay to skip nursery or preschool and just stick with the help we're getting from our nanny? Thanks for your insights!

I think at least a term of preschool will help with school readiness. So I would aim to have that in place for after Christmas.

In my experience of working in reception, it will be obvious to the staff that she has not been to preschool because she will be less used to sitting in a group to listen to the adult, less used to having to deal with her own belongings and care and less used to sharing space and attention with lots of other children.

These things might make it harder for her to settle into school or it might make no lasting difference and she will overcome the new challenges quickly. It depends entirely on the child.

Personally, I believe that pre school education is valuable in itself, and not just as a means of helping a child get ready for school, so it’s not something I’d have allowed my children to miss out on.

I would aim to at least have her in part time, maybe 2 days a week.

Otherwise the school routine, getting used to being left with initially unfamiliar adults, socialising with a range of children etc will all be new when she starts reception 5 days a week. Better to ease her in gradually with a couple of preschool days a week in my opinion.

Epecially if you can get her into a preschool attached to her primary school where she will get to know peers who she will be in reception with.

Obviously it’s your choice. When I was a Nursery teacher, the children who had been at home with a parent or relative tended to struggle with settling in.
Separation anxiety can also be a concern.

Which county are you in?
When did she turn 4?

Most school preschools are just mornings aren’t they? They were at my children’s school. 9-12. The people who had Nannie’s dropped them off, collected them and then spent the rest of the day with them- seemed a great setup.

I would never skip preschool. Just do whatever the free hours equate to and have the nanny do drop offs and pick ups. Everyone in England gets the 15 term time hours so that would be mornings 4-5 days a week in a school nursery. Even if your nanny is fabulous, following the EYFS curriculum and doing all the practical stuff to get her school ready 3-4 year olds need peer interaction in a way that can be hard to achieve at toddler groups. It also gets them used to the separation at drop off and a busy environment, something else you can’t really replicate at home.

What classes do you or the nanny take her to currently? I had a full time nanny when mine were small but I still started them at half day preschool from 2.5 years as I do think from 3 onwards they need more structure and peer interaction than a 1:1 nanny can provide, and as most people don’t have a full time nanny or SAHP by the time they are 3 the toddler classes seem to dry up. Especially for my son, preschool really helped prepare him for reception as he was forced to be more independent, having been used to our nanny or us doing everything for him previously (getting him dressed, shoes on etc) just to speed things along. Your daughter may catch up quickly in reception anyway but since you have the 15 free hours now assuming you’re in the UK it seems a no brainer to send her a few mornings a week at least.

I think it helps with school readiness. Also if you are thinking of a selective private school they do expect the child to interact with others as part of the selection process. Just a thought. In any case it would be worth doing at least some I think.

I would do preschool, it gets them ready for school and used to working and playing in larger groups, doing circle time, different activities in groups.

I think you need to consider the socialisation, independence, and learning they are receiving in the two settings.
In a pre school the child learns how to mix with others, take their turn etc etc.
In a pre-school the child learns more independence as the adult:child ratio is different than with a nanny.
In a pre-school the child may get to experience a greater range of activities and learning than with a nanny. Or they may not. Depends on the set up, but with a baby in the mix the nanny may not have time for trips / activities they could get in preschool.

I was really surprised how quickly my sons began to read and write once they started at preschool. We had been teaching them at home but being in that school like setting with other children doing the same things really helped.

I wouldn't skip preschool unless I was planning to homeschool. As great as your Nanny is she cannot replicate the pre school setting.

Of course it’s ok not to send your child to pre school! I know it’s slightly different if your daughter is with a nanny rather than you, but my daughter learnt far more being at home with me before she started school than she would have in a nursery or pre school setting. I was conscious thst she had never spent any significant amount of time away from me so she went to a total of eight afternoon sessions at a local nursery in the term before she started school to get her used to me not being there, but I don’t think it was really necessary. I made sure she was well prepared for school and she loved it from the first day. She was confident, had developed good social skills and had no issues settling into school. She was reading fluently before she started school, was writing independently, and knew some of her times tables, and had developed a passion for learning which I don’t think would have happened to the same extent if she hadn’t had the same level of one to one input.

I think its there for a reason, there is a phenomenal amount of academic research that went into putting together the preschool curriculum in UK and elsewhere. It has a purpose. Not just an academic one, kids can learn to read or write or learn about the world at home. The purpose of preschool is more about gaining confidence as a little person in their own right and learning how to function in a group. I work in this area and the focus for the first few weeks is independence skills. The children in full time care can do things at 2 that children coming from home often can't do til 4. I work with PT kids who have not attended nursery and the majority stand there waiting for someone to take off their shoes or open their bag or wipe their bums..within a week they can do all these things. It is generally accepted that keeping children dependent on adults leads to low self esteem, for whatever cultural reason most adults don't get this and grossly underestimate their child's ability. Another thing is manners, turn taking and being in a group. A child that has one to one has never had to queue to wash their hands or wait their turn to speak. They push their way through queues and interrupt. Our job is to teach them not to do this, it can be done in a positive way with a reasonable sized group, it's our job and we understand waiting is hard for little children. By school age in a busy classroom this won't be tolerated and would be considered misbehaving, a child who hasnt had the chance to learn this slowly is at risk of being scolded or punished or ostracised by other children.

I think attending pre-school will make it so much easier for her to adjust to school, so she can focus on learning and making friends rather than learning how to function in school environment. It will also make her used to the fact that she does not have 1-2-1 adult attention and she interacts with other children (there is a big difference in interacting with other children at places like soft play and in group setting where they are given a task and have to cooperate).

Some thing that our pre-school is teaching (that I would never thought of):
-taking turns
-putting food on their plates and using a tray to carry it to their table
-register routine
-recognizing their written name and putting things on their peg
-getting used to school uniforms (this is usually done closer to summer)
-following similar routine to a school day
-working in groups/pairs

And probably many other things I don't know about :)

I personally think pre school is very important. Could you even do just 2 mornings a week or something and still have the nanny for a bit?
I think it will be a huge adjustment for your dd when she starts school if she hasn't been to pre school

Is your DD still getting to socialise with other children her own age (not younger) in a setting where their needs are equally important so that she develops the skills like turn waiting, listening, friendship etc?

This is what is often missing from not going to preschool... all their peers are there so there is no one at the same level as them. Everything is geared to younger children.

Plus your DD going to preschool a couple of days a week means your 1yo will also have focused attention for activities on their developmental level as well.