DS aged 3.5 has started nursery but beforehand he went to a childminder for 2 years. Around aged 2.5 he decided to stop eating meals when he was at CM's.
We tried giving him his favourite foods, letting him graze without sitting at the table with the children, bringing in lunch I made from home, having him help with meal prep, bribery with dessert. We tried for a few months but he was getting more upset with the pressure so we just left it.
Now he's started nursery and he's still having difficulties with snack times and eating. He has meltdowns at the expectation to sit and eat with others. When I ask him why I don't get very far except "I only eat at home" and he's scared to. He's never been sick or had an unpleasant stomach experience that I can see. He also eats great when I take him out to cafés.
Any ideas what to do about this or had a child similar? He's struggling with behaviour expectations in general, at home and in childcare settings. He tends to say he's scared when there's something he doesn't want to do, like tidying up, potty training or exerting himself (for example I've heard "I'm scared to hold a pencil" before).