Hi, does anyone have a child who would not settle in nursery?
my daughter is 2.5 and I tried two nurseries already, one in January and one in march. She did settling in sessions for a month in each and would not settle, the first one she was there max 1 hour and then they would tell me to take her (I don think they actually gave her about time) and then after a month said they advise to take her out of nursery as she’s not settling. I did see potential in that nursery as she wasn’t in hysterics just upset and would stop crying here and there but did as they said and took her out.
in march I tried a different nursery and she loved it there until it came to the settling in sessions where I left her (they told me to be there as much as I need to). She was crying all the time there and once she did 2.5 hours and would cry the whole time. She was going in almost daily for settling in but even after a month no improvements. At this point she wouldn’t even stay with my mum anymore and I couldn’t even go toilet as she would be crying as soon as I disappeared from her eyesight. The manager asked what I want to do as clearly it’s not working and she’s not improving and her crying is also disturbing the other kids now so I took her out again. After about a month she improved and I could leave her with my parents and go kitchen/bathroom without her crying.
Fast forward to now im searching for another nursery for her to start in January as I really do need to be back in work for more hours. However, even if I mention the word nursery she gets upset wants to suddenly cuddle with me and keeps saying she doesn’t want to go. I have no idea what to do as obviously no parent wants to see their child so upset but it has to happen and I know she would benefit from socialising as I don’t have friends with children. She’s quite shy and lacks all the confidence when she’s in a crowded place or with children to the point she will allow other kids to snatch things from her and she will just look, or she will be playing and other children come to play with the same things so she will step away and observe them.
I thought about childminder however I can’t bring myself to trust them enough (nothing against them as I know many are great). I feel like a nursery has more staff and had cameras so I feel more secure. During the show arounds many nurseries are not giving me much hope either and answers and I’m not sure if even if she will be crying everyday and not settling in do I still go with it and allow her more time or if they can’t settle her after a few weeks am I meant to take her out because I also understand that the staff do have another children to take care off and she will be in preschool room so bigger ratios.
Anyone been through this? What was the outcome? Any advice?
also if anyone has nursery recommendation or ones to stay away from around north or north west London it would be a plus
thank you 🙂