Confused- is there an issue?

[FlapjackStan]

My DD started a pre-school attached to a school (just turned 3 in the summer).To give a little background: the pre-school is known to push children from the age of 3 to become independent (this has been confirmed by other parents whose which are now year above).
The teacher has had a few complaints about DD not following instructions or class routine (the first week). As well as not getting to the toilet in time or wetting herself without knowing. DD has been dry during the day and night and has had no accidents at home).
DD teacher has arranged a meeting next few weeks for possible senco referral due to not listening to instructions and wetting.
I’m completely at a loss as to what to do or what to ask in the meeting. DD is a very bright and lovely child. Sometimes she does not listen to instructions due to other things taking her interest. Apart from that no major concerns. Has anyone else had this issue?

What do you think? Are their expectations for your child realistic and appropriate? If you think they are how can you help her meet them?

There seems to be a lot of crazy pre schools out there with unrealistic expectations! 3 year olds ears are purely decorative and accidents are to be expected.
Unless at the meeting they have any valid concerns id be looking for an alternative as they sound awful! It's pre school not the army!

@FlapjackStan hey how is she getting on now?

I just wanted to say we are experiencing the exact same with my son. Just 2 weeks in, they called me in to say they want to reduce his hours to half days instead of full days because 1. He doesn't eat much 2. He doesn't like to use the toilet (he's fully potty trained but seems to be nervous using the preschool toilets) and 3. He's having outbursts when they try to force him to do circle time and sit still.

He's also been referred to the school SENCO and has a session with the educational psychologist(?) this week. We have suspected he may be on the spectrum so we already had a few things in motion BUT for the reasons they gave us to reduce his hours I think are unrealistic expectations of 3 year olds?!

I did not realise that preschool was so structured and for my son must have been a shock as he used to go to a free flow nursery.

Hope things are okay with you but feel free to message if you want as it sounds like we are going through something similar.

Switch to a private preschool?

Sorry, sounds like you’re going through something similar to my situation. My dd is also on reduced hours atm.

Yes, my daughter also went to a free flow nursery, so has definitely been a shock to her system 😂

I will update once I meet with the school as to what their concerns are as they have not been very clear (just drips of information so far at pick ups).

If this happened with my DS, I'd be the one booking an appointment with the nursery asking them to explain their frankly odd behaviour and why they have unrealistic expectations.