Nursery pre school problem

[Eva10]

HI Mums! I have problem with my 3y old girl and nursery.. so my query is how long can a nursery send a child home after 3 hours if she deserves 30 hours saying that the child is not ready and is behaving badly, does not listen to instructions ,and does not want to sit down still,
In the morning my daughter willingly goes to nursery wants to go, but the teacher tells me to pick her up after 3 hours saying that she is not ready yet for 6h to stay, that she does not listen, that she throws blocks and toys and does not know how to adapt. I got 30 hours from the government, I work full time at night shift and because they send her home after 3 hours I practically do not sleep, what should I do, do they have the right to reject my child despite taking money from the government for her for 30 hours? how to talk to them, since the child goes willingly and does not cry, but they claim that she has bad behavior, because she is very active and cannot sit still, is it legal that they charge 30 hours and send the child back after 15, I am very tired, I do not sleep, I have no possibility not to work, what to do? Please help and I will be very grateful for any advice

If she isn't ND they should be able to provide 6h of care.
My guess is they know you are at home and will pick her up. Easy for them. My experience is some nursery teacher are fast to ship kids home for no reason.
I would consider sending to another nusery.

Thanks for your answer, yes that's what I think this is the reason because they know Im at home, but for me this is my sleep time and they really don't understand how hard is to try to work full time nights without normal sleep plus they have 30h paid for her, I'll send her to nursery with reason because I'm not able anymore to life without any sleep 😔 I don't have any family and friends to help me with childcare, what to do how to talk with them what arguments to use?

Rather than argue with them can you work together to improve her behaviour. Have the same sanctions and rewards at home and nursery?

Yes of course they can ask for her to be picked up at any time if her behaviour is unacceptable - they have a duty of care to all the children in the setting and if she is throwing blocks and other toys that is not safe for other children. It sounds like a very difficult situation for you but I think you need to focus on understanding and improving her behaviour rather than how to get a setting to provide more hours for a child who is behaving in this way.

The thing is she is the youngest in the group born 31.08. 21, so yes she's 3y now but no understanding that much than other kids plus she's is so active kid she's never sitting down always moving round running so is so hard for her to stay on place for longer than few minutes always very bored with one activity so quickly, I'm trying explaining her all the time and telling her all the time same things, or keeps her busy for longer but she's not listening she's saying OK, and does same thing again running jumping.... I'm not even trying to have arguments with nursery l, I just want to know if they are allowed to do like this, sending her home even they have paid for her for 30h from government free childcare

Yes, they're allowed to do that. Even if you were paying them yourself, they could still send her home if having her in the setting was causing problems. And you're getting 3 hours out of 6 at the moment, but that could become 0 hours if this doesn't improve and they decide your DD isn't ready to be there.

As a PP said, the best thing to focus your efforts on is working with them to resolve this. It sounds like you are trying to change your daughter's behaviour - what consequences do you use when she ignores the things you've told her?

Can you find a different nursery that may be able to better manage her needs?

I didn't look yet for different nursery, I'm still having hope for she's sitting down on this one is the closer one from where we live

3 hrs for a 3 year old is a about right. 6 hrs would be hard for her if she's. It used to it.

We have a gs like this who is very active. Can you speak to your health visitor about calming strategies and work with nursery too.
If you are sleeping I would put your phone on do not disturb for at least 4 to 5 hours.

She's not compulsory school age so I don't think there's a requirement to have her in for a certain period of time. They're still keeping her place even if she's not there using the hours. If, as you say, she is a danger to other children I would expect the nursery to be calling you to pick her up. My DC haven't been violent but when one was in a "funny mood" (don't know why) I had to get him because he was clingy and they didn't have the capacity to do 1 to
1 with him and care for the others.

Ask the nursery to get their Senco to observe and assess her.

When DS started nursery at 3 (he did 15-21 hours) he was an angel initially and then within days started intermittently misbehaving. He was well-behaved at home and in other settings like play groups etc so this was new to us.

The Senco observed him, then they got an Educational Psychologist to assess him (the EP was visiting for other DC anyway), and her report said his behaviour was due to anxiety about the nursery environment. She recommended various strategies for the nursery staff to put in place to help him feel more secure and it worked.

It’s not good enough for a nursery to say she’s badly behaved so we’re sending her home without bothering to establish why. You and them have to get to the bottom of why she is behaving like this - maybe it’s because she has no boundaries at home, maybe she’s stressed and anxious, has emerging SEN, who knows? To ignore and just send home is failing her.

If the nursery won’t cooperate then look for another nursery.

@Luddite26 And if OP's daughter falls ill or injures herself, how will nursery get in touch?

She is 3 yo. If she doesn't have a diagnosis a nursery should work with parents on a plan for the child or/and get the child assessed.

6h of care is normal for working parents. A lot of children are in nursery for longer hours.

😏

Ok because maybe I didn't say everything rights and some of you getting this wrong ways, so she is on this nursery from over week and after day 2 when she's done drama on doors that she don't want to go in they tell me that she's needed more time to adopt and they cuts her hours to 3 h a day, maximum she was there for 4h and that was on second day adaptation but on this day she don't want to go in plus on lunch time she was not to good but that was only day2 on nursery, so day 3 she was in for 3h very happy to go in, on others days up till now happy going to nursery not any problems in the morning, but when I asked when she will be able to start 6h because she's sound so happy to go and stay at school, the teacher starts to saying every day on doors that she was not really good and she's needed more time and they not seeing progress, but when I asked her she's saying school is nice and she's like to go, one lady tell me that lunch time is so busy but she's need to much attention and this is why she's now only 3h to adopt better, then next day teacher tells me that's she was noty because she's trough out blocks from box on floor and she's makes mess, other time they said that she was upset and crying don't want to do the activities like drawing or looking at the story time because she wants to do different things and running round 😑
And She's not aggressive to others kids, I never said that

Work with them, they are used to children so know what is in the realms of normal. They have rightly highlighted that at the moment full days are too much for her so listen to them.

arrange a meeting with the staff and ask them what you can do at home to help. Come up with a plan to slowly increase her hours as she is more able to cope

Did she attend nursery prior to pre school or is this her first experience?

This is a good plan so thanks for that idea, this is what I going to talk with that way.

Moretetrafish ,This is her first experience that nursery.

It sounds like early days. I tried to get mine to sit down and listen to stories at home on the floor like a nursery setting. And to do other things similar to nursery at home and calming techniques.
Keep trying to work with nursery and give it a bit more time.💐

Hi OP,
I'm sorry you're having a hard time, it sounds really tough. Ask the nursery to work with you and plan out how you can start to increase your DD days/hours. Regarding her behaviour, it doesn't sound great so obviously you need to work on that at home, but equally work with the nursery too and ask them for assistance and tips of what you need to do so she's getting consistent messaging.
I think if they don't seem very willing to help then you should look elsewhere.
Hope you can sort this out soon.

Thank you all for support, will try to talk with them next week when they will not try to increase nursery hours, and nothing will change with her progress, Thank you 😊

Not what you’re asking, but it might be worth your while looking at delayed start for summer born children, with a child that close to the cut off that is struggling. I have an august born too (who is speech delayed), and it’s something we are exploring.

I've worked in a preschool before and they will most certainly have your DC's best interests at heart, full days are very difficult for some children and it has a direct impact on their behaviour and ability to cope.
They should be working with you to build up his sessions, short and regular to begin with.
Please don't send him for his 30 hours because it's his entitlement - you're setting him up to fail. He'll get there quicker in the long run if you work with the nursery.