Child doesn’t have any friends

[Chuggachu]

My daughter (almost 5) attends reception. She loves school and runs off to class each morning and enjoys the activities there. Her teachers have commented that she’s not doing too well socially. She doesn’t get into fights, but doesn’t really have any friends. She spends more time complaining about her peers to her teachers actually. The teachers commented that she only engages with her peers if they are involved in an activity or talking about things she’s really interested in.

She’s an only child so her interactions with peers are limited to school. I’ve seen her in public spaces where other kids try to involve her in play. She joins in if she desires the role, but if relegated to a task or role she doesn’t want, she complains that she’s tired or isn’t feeling well.

how can I help my kid?

Does she do any clubs? I’d be looking to get her into group activities such as dance, gymnastics or martial arts. She’ll automatically make friends and be forced to do things she doesn’t automatically want to do.

Do you organise play dates for her? Perhaps invite 1 or 2 children with whom she gets along well regularly for play dates at your home. How does she do at birthday parties?

My son is a similar age and doesn't really have a close friend but he has people that he plays with depending on what they're doing and what he's interested in. The teachers haven't flagged it as an issue at all and it's actually exactly how I was at the same age. I do think being the youngest in the year has an impact though. The things we've found that have really helped are after school club and holiday club where there tends to be a small number of them who hang out together. The school is also linked with a church and a few of his classmates go to mass at the same time as DS goes and I think they all hang together there too.