Re-introducing second language - 3yr old DS

[alaska748]

Hoping for some advice / guidance from anyone who is familiar with raising / trying to raise bilingual children…

I am originally from Germany and spoke German to my (nearly) 3 year old son for the first 1.5 years of his life. My husband is English and my son is in full time nursery, also in English.

My son struggled with his speech and is only just getting back on track and on par with his peers. In an effort to help him speak I stopped speaking German to him and switched to English about six months ago on advice of our speech therapist. He heard limited German from my parents when they came to visit and on FaceTime etc. While being bilingual In itself does not cause a delay, I was told that in children with a speech delay, the extra language can confuse matters so in an effort to get him talking I switched to English.

we have just welcomed our second child and I am speaking German to him - my question is around speaking German again with my eldest…

Do I

1. try and explain that mummy speaks a different language?
2. say phrases in both languages?
3. switch to only German again immediately?

realise these are not mutually exclusive but wondering if anyone has any thoughts / advice. Thank you!

I think I'd go for option 2. He's going to get really frustrated and feel pushed out if the arrival of his new sibling coincides with suddenly not being able to understand or communicate the same with his mum.

I know they say one parent one language is best but surely like everything it also depends on individual family circumstances.

You can gradually build the German back up as he gets more confident with it and also have TV/ nursery rhymes on in German so he is having lots of exposure to the language without it becoming a barrier between you.

I'd say option 3. Given he isn't yet 3 and language acquisition in bilingual children is slower (why did you think he was delayed?) I'd also suggest that you should not have stopped speaking German in the first place! But I am absolutely not an expert, just interested in language acquisition.

My dn had this issue, she had one language spoken by mum, one by dad and a third language at nursery. There was a long speech delay of nearly 3.5 years but in the end the Nursery language came first (spoken also when playing with siblings and obviously in shops, on the bus etc). And then very quickly trilingual like siblings. However none of the siblings enjoy languages and have made no attempt to learn any more and declare they all “hate French” at school!

I know someone in the exact same spot as you but for different reasons (dc1 was found to be partially deaf when he was a toddler so the parents following advice switched to 100% English, and then younger siblings learned Dad’s language as they were not deaf and dc1 eventually caught up).

I have no advice but I would say that most kids will pick up languages they are regularly exposed to - so I would go with option 2 until you sense your dc1 is starting to understand. He can help teach dc2 and join in with songs etc. Before you know it he will start to learn.

Definitely keep up speaking German to him. He will get it in the end. It doesn’t matter if he’s a bit slower. Being bilingual is a fantastic skill to have and he is the perfect age to acquire language. What’s more he will need German to communicate with his grandparents.

I suggest you should initially say phrases in both languages rather than switch to German immediately which may confuse or overwhelm him again. And consider regularly introducing some German stories or songs.This can make learning German fun and interesting to him.

I would move immediately to 2, and progress towards 3. Take the speed of transition between 2&3 as required by the delay of speach your oldest is still struggling with.

Bilingual here with two bilingual children. I think you were given very outdated advice actually, bilingual children sometimes speak later but then catch up very quickly and being bilingual has loads of advantages. I know lots of bilingual and trilingual children and none of them have struggled in school because of it.
Speak German with your children and let DH speak English, they will get it. Children's brains are amazing