Do they have to go?

[charmkin]

Why do we do this to our 2 year olds?
Why are we making them sit on the mat and line up?
What is it really achieving?
Why is it a good thing for a 2 year old to be away from their mummy?

Who didn't do the pre-school thing?

preschool means "before school". Not "First year of school" or "Go back to work you idle layabout stay at home mothers".

I have always called it playschool anyway, with an almost intangible emphasis on the 'play'.

I am a pre-school practitioner and just wanted to add that many children do get upset about coming to pre-school and kick up a fuss when mum is about to leave, but the vast majority have stopped crying within minutes of mum leaving. These children then have a lot of fun for the remainder of the day/session even though I have heard children tell their mums that they didn't do anything today (not true!). The crying and saying that they don't want to go to pre-school is usually because mum is not there. Young children want to be with their mums at all times, especially if this is what they are used to and they may be wary of other people they don't know so well. Pre-school is a new (big) step, where children learn to socialise and be independent, many children are encouraged to do simple tasks themselves (practitioners assess those who are ready to do independent tasks and those not ready yet, and therefore needing some support). Some children find it hard because they are not used to it. You may think it cruel to expect a young child to put their own shoes/plimsolls on or use a knife and fork but it is a skill that most infant schools expect reception year pupils to have learnt and it is therefore important that pre-schools encourage this independence (it doesn't matter how long it takes). Mums may have the time to do things like this at home but in the long term it doesn't do the child any favours.

Some children create a fuss about going to pre-school because their behaviour is rewarded by mum taking them home again. Unfortunately, when this occurs the child is likely to repeat the performance next time. But most children would choose to stay with mum in preference to pre-school, which may go some way to explain the behaviour.

Our pre-school takes children from 2.5 years of age, but in practice, most children are around 2.9 years when they start. Tbh children aged around 3+ are probably the best age to begin the separation process as they are more mature emotionally and can cope with the separation much better, unless they have been at nurseries or cm's since a very young age, in which case they are not so bothered by separation from their main carer.

"Young children want to be with their mums at all times"
Exactly. And why not? I can't see anything wrong with that.

my point exactly juuule
what is the obsession in this country with taking tiny children away from their mothers
why is it seen as a good thing?

I only doing it because everyone else is.
Don't want ds to be disadvantaged

"Some children create a fuss about going to pre-school because their behaviour is rewarded by mum taking them home again"

oo those evil 2 and a half year olds
they are so clever with their manipulative behaviour. I am sure they plan these stressful, heart rending panic attacks just to get what they want...

seriously, I think we should really question why we are so keen for our 2 and 3 year olds to be 'independent'. Surely they have their whole lives to do that?

charmin - that's the only reason you are doing this? Surely doing what's best for your child is better than following the crowd? If they were happy with the other childcare arrangements & unhappy with the new then why continue? Would you jump off a cliff if everyone else did?

Most people send their children to nursery - but I'm not because I know my child doesn't need/want to. Most people send their children to school at age 4/5 but I won't be because I know Home educating will suit him & us better. Yes it's a bit "different" & sometimes a bit scary to because of that, but I'd rather follow my heart than the crowd. Don't give a damn what they all think - just that DS is happy.

Omg your ds will not be disadvantaged because you didn't send him to pre school at 2! You need to step back take a deep breath and don't send him if you don't want to. No one is making you send him, you are doing that yourself!