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Preschool education

Get advice from other Mumsnetters to find the best nursery for your child on our Preschool forum.

attacked in nursery - do I complain?

14 replies

oa81 · 16/10/2023 17:38

Hi,

So on Friday a family member picked my child up and was informed he had been attacked by another child - pinned to the floor and hit. He’s told me he was playing and this child has jumped on him and he had to shout for help. I’ve felt sick about it all weekend but thought I’d speak to the teacher today to see what’s gone on. She said today that she was with another child and could hear my little boy screaming, she’s gone over and he was pinned to the floor and the other child was clawing at his neck. He had scratch marks which faded, he was upset but settled down.

I’ve asked is it a case my son and this child don’t get on, but she said he’s not the only child and there have been other incidents, she’s suggested I complain to the head if I’m not happy.

my thinking is, what good will complaining do? As if this child has additional needs it’s obvious no 1-1 funding is in place yet. I also don’t want to then risk this child’s place at nursery by saying I’m concerned about his behaviour, but 2 others have suggested I do complain to the head. I just don’t know by complaining what I should be suggesting as a solution. However, I do think pinning my son down and scratching his neck is a lot more than just boisterous play, it seems very vicious.

OP posts:
Froodwithatowel · 16/10/2023 17:47

They won't be able to discuss the child's needs or provision with you; however you absolutely can ask exactly what measures are going to be taken to ensure this can't happen again. These are very young children, children who have significant SEND needs can get overwhelmed or make mistakes especially when they're this little, but its then down to staff and good planning to support the child properly and keep everyone safe. Just shrugging and saying complain to the head is a bit of a worrying sign!

oa81 · 16/10/2023 17:57

Froodwithatowel · 16/10/2023 17:47

They won't be able to discuss the child's needs or provision with you; however you absolutely can ask exactly what measures are going to be taken to ensure this can't happen again. These are very young children, children who have significant SEND needs can get overwhelmed or make mistakes especially when they're this little, but its then down to staff and good planning to support the child properly and keep everyone safe. Just shrugging and saying complain to the head is a bit of a worrying sign!

Edited

my wording may of came across wrong, it was almost like she was encouraging me to take it further, maybe they’re overwhelmed with only 2 staff in the class 🤷‍♀️ but she did say she’d spoken to his mum, they were on top of it but as you said they can’t go into specifics for confidentially which I completely understand!

it’s the SEND side of things that’s putting me off complaining, as if he has got additional needs and was overwhelmed it’s not the childs fault, they need more support. If they haven’t got additional needs then it’s a case of where have they learnt the behaviour? Just got no idea how to take this one forward to make sure my little boy is safe in future!

OP posts:
wonderingwhatsnext · 16/10/2023 18:04

The school need you to complain. They needed documented evidence of issues before they can put extra support in for the other child.

bryceQ · 16/10/2023 18:04

I'm the mum of a high needs autistic child, I would take it very seriously if my son did this to another child and I would want it escalated as clearly they aren't supporting either child there.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 16/10/2023 18:26

Yes, do take it further. Not in an accusing way but in a how will they ensure it doesn't happen again way. What the other child needs is more support and hopefully the more that other parents push for that the sooner he/she will get it.

Froodwithatowel · 16/10/2023 18:50

It does sound like you're being encouraged to complain in the hope of more staff being sent down, but bottom line: unmet needs and children getting hurt. Where's the risk assessment? If it's so poorly staffed they can't do these basic things, I'd be looking for a much better nursery.

splishysplash · 16/10/2023 18:52

You need to take it further to help the other child get the support they need as well as to protect your child and the rest of the class. This will support the school to get more funding.

Theunamedcat · 16/10/2023 18:53

wonderingwhatsnext · 16/10/2023 18:04

The school need you to complain. They needed documented evidence of issues before they can put extra support in for the other child.

Yup nailed it

Complain

PuttingDownRoots · 16/10/2023 18:53

Unfortunately kids need to fail in mainstream to get the extra help they need. So by complaining, you might be doing the child a favour in the long run.

My nephew was actually expelled from preschool... however it did mean he started Reception with help in place.

FloweryName · 16/10/2023 18:54

It is worth complaining, especially if the staff are hinting that you should. They probably feel like they need more support to meet all the children’s needs and that is never going to happen if every incident is brushed under the carpet and forgotten about.

Setting need evidence to get funding for support to be put in place and that is what your compliant would help provide.

oa81 · 16/10/2023 18:56

Thanks everyone for your response, I didn’t think it would have as much of an impact but if it’s going to help then I’ll contact the head tomorrow

OP posts:
marmitegirl01 · 16/10/2023 19:02

I would say staff are encouraging you to complain as they may be at end of their tether and it will help them get support in place

Londonlondon4 · 16/10/2023 19:08

It really sounds like they want you to complain. It also is not safe or nice environment for your child.

barbieofswanlake · 16/10/2023 20:44

Don't assume the child has sen, many children do display these behaviours at this stage of development and grow out of them

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