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Preschool education

Get advice from other Mumsnetters to find the best nursery for your child on our Preschool forum.

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Original poster

AIBU first day of nursery school

14 replies

Gilliepops11 · 05/09/2023 09:11

Hi,
my little boy is three and quite confident. He was happy to go to his first day of nursery school today. All was fine until we got to school. The teachers were stood at the door like bouncers. I tried to take my so into the cloakroom and they said no parents allowed and took my son off me. I went past grabbed my son and made sure he got a big hug and a kiss from me and his dad and told DS to have a lovely day. I then made a comment of this being bad practice. The teacher shoved a teabag in my hand and I left him. It was so rushed at the door, I didn’t get to tell the teachers that I had packed my sons sun hat, sunglasses and sun cream in his bag etc. I feel it was all very badly handled and my son was left in a corridor with lots of busy adults and children coming in. This was not the way I pictured his first day starting. I wanted it to be calm and welcoming but it was hostile and rushed. I was a previous EY lead and feel that this was not good practise and it was really upsetting snd has made a bad first impression in my opinion. Is this my emotions as it is his first day or am I justified in being unhappy? I’m thinking of my son and all the other littlies if this is their first day. AIBU? Do I say something to school?

OP posts:

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Sprogonthetyne · 05/09/2023 09:20

I've never gone past the door for drop off, quick cuddle a few steps before, then the kids walk the last bit to the teacher. We had setting in sessions, where parents did go in, so the kids where familier with the staff and classroom.

I don't think it's a problem with the system as such, but a small misunderstanding seems to have been allowed to escalate.

Cactusali · 05/09/2023 09:23

Shoved a teabag in your hand?

Araminta34 · 05/09/2023 09:23

A teabag?

Original poster

Gilliepops11 · 05/09/2023 09:25

Yes, with a kitkat and poem. A lovely gesture I’m sure but the way I felt I didn’t want it.

OP posts:

Original poster

Gilliepops11 · 05/09/2023 09:25

Thank you, this is possibly my emotions running too high today.

OP posts:

EarringsandLipstick · 05/09/2023 09:26

Ah OP 💔

I get it, I do! You have this vision of what it's going to be like & it's not....

It's perfectly standard to do a quick drop-off & go, or else it's mayhem.

I remember, all of 12 years ago, embarrassingly trying to tell my 4 yo's teacher on day 1 about her, introduce myself etc, like had happened in crèche / Montessori & she just looked through me.

It'll all be fine!

Seeline · 05/09/2023 09:26

Nah - much better to leave them at the door. And all kids treated the same that way too regardless of who has dropped them off.
I'm sure your son was made welcome as soon as he got in. It's his first day, not yours.

EarringsandLipstick · 05/09/2023 09:28

Gilliepops11 · 05/09/2023 09:25

Yes, with a kitkat and poem. A lovely gesture I’m sure but the way I felt I didn’t want it.

I've got the teabag over the years too. It comes with a little poem about relaxing & having a cuppa as a reward for all you do etc.

OP don't be like this. They're doing their best, and this isn't the start to have with them.

Have the cuppa & the KitKat & all will be well when you collect in a few hours.

Crimblecrumble1990 · 05/09/2023 09:28

I knew what you meant with the tea bag :)

I wouldn't have expected to go in the cloakroom with him, would be chaos if everyone did that. But I would have expected to walk up and the teacher say something like, 'ok little Timmy time to go in and put your bag on your peg, say goodbye to mummy'.

Hope he's having a fun first day!

TropicalTrama · 05/09/2023 09:32

Honestly I think a quick drop off at the door is the best way to go. 2.5YO DS had his first day today too, the nursery is part of his sister’s school and honestly it was chaos. 100s of parents and kids everywhere! If they’d kept all the adults in the playground it would have been so much better. Didn’t get a tea bag or kit kat though, shame as I quite fancy a kit kat now. Hope he has a good first day!

MsSquiz · 05/09/2023 09:49

We dropped dd1 off yesterday for her first day at school nursery. The staff were all outside waiting to take the children in. The head of early years came over to say hi to her and asked if she wanted to go in with her. Dd1 said yes, and off she went. I didn't get the chance to give her a hug or a kiss but did get to watch her walk off excited and happy, and that was far more important. The kids and hug was a thing for me, not her.
I wouldn't have dreamed of pulling dd1 back for a kiss, etc when having them walk straight in to nursery was working!

We create these little people and encourage them to be independent, then get sad when it happens...

YourNameGoesHere · 05/09/2023 09:53

Honestly I'm surprised to read you were an early years lead but think parents going into the cloakroom and classroom is better practice than dropping at the door. Honestly it's so much better for the children to not have parents coming in.

I'm sure you're feeling very emotional but in this instance I do think YABU. I'm sure he will have a lovely day.

mumofboys8787 · 05/09/2023 09:57

Oh OP I can understand why you're upset but I think it's clear from the responses that maybe you were excited / nervous / anxious and were hoping and expecting it to go a certain way, and it caught you off guard when all of a sudden the plans changed and you weren't prepared. That being said, it's standard practice to drop them at the door and it's not to be mean to the children, it's actually best for them to start with that little bit of independence and make their own way into the classroom. You won't be there to hold their hand forever.

You don't want to start off like this with his teachers so the best thing you can do is try to enjoy your day and go to drop off tomorrow with a fresh mindset. Leave all the negativity at the door. Hope your son enjoys his first day!

familyday · 05/09/2023 10:21

I'm also confused how you can be an EY lead with so little understanding. Surely you appreciate that if adults are allowed in, then all the children want their adult to come in and some need to dash for work. Adults in the cloakroom then start wandering into the classroom etc and there is a safe guarding problem. Then if adults are allowed in the cloakroom today , what about tomorrow, next week, children have to be told the rules have changed. Having some quick drops and some drawn out hugging in the cloakroom is unsettling for all the children. These are qualified adults who know to look on pegs for sun hats. You should be applying lotion before school, in a class of 30 they won't have time to be putting lotion on them all. Have the cup of tea and trust the qualified adults taking care of your son and his classmates.

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