Should I defer my child? He's three and a half?

[SecondtimeMama29]

I don't know whether to defer my child? He's three and a half and is meant to start pre-school in August.

However, his birthday is November.

Some of the kids in his class are already 4.

And 8-3pm (two days a week)

Ours start school the term after they are 3 (some parts of wales) my DS started April 2022 at 3 he’s not 4.5 yet and he can read to stage 3 and do basic maths. No reason to delay starting.

Why can't he do 2 years at pre school like so many other Scottish children? If the issue is that it's a private school perhaps you should look into state?

This is exactly what happened with my child, as I said above in my post.

I suspect OP only wants people telling her to hold him back because she's already decided that's what she wants to do, despite the fact that it could disadvantage her child massively.

@RicktheBrick

Children who are the eldest are proven to do better in sports and academics...

Disadvantage 😂. Wow.

I'm not going to put him in a class with kids 12-18 months older just because I can.

He will not do as well as those children and most people in Scotland are holding their kids back now after the new legislation came in.

I'm not going to force him to grow up incase he may be bored! 😂

What’s wrong with him being with kids 18 months older?

They will be three months youngervthan my grandaughter when she starts school. They will come on leaps and bounds at preschool, you will be amazed. Just remember some wont be 5 till the end of February so they wont be the youngest by any means.
My daughters friend was four and a half when she started and she is now a plastic surgeon.

My daughter is a November birthday too, and she will go to school when she is 4.5. I'm not too bothered about it, she was already at nursery from 9 months so it didn't even occur to me to defer that and I wouldn't personally bother deferring unless the child was a Jan or Feb birthday.

My son is a March birthday though and one of the oldest in his class (there is one older who was deferred), it is a definite advantage in some ways for sure. But I wouldn't worry too much about a November birthday myself.

My son was a March birthday and he was akso bored. Although he could read and write he still wasnt allowed to start even though some were barely out of nappies.

Yes if you read my post, my child is the oldest in his year and is that bored and way more advanced than the others in his year, that it was causing issues for him. I'd much rather he was with children closer to his age and ability instead of being in class with children that had just turned 5 weeks before when he was already 6 at the start of the school year. It's a very noticeable difference at that age. Unfortunately, his class was also mixed reception and Y1 so he is in class with 4 year old, and again, he was 6!

I guess it depends on your child and I know Scotland is slightly different but the long and short of it is, that millions of children start school at age 4, and get on just fine. I think you're just going into it thinking he will be the oldest and therefore the most academic and advanced. But the school are going to treat him as if he is 4.5 like all the other children.

Why have you even posted asking if you should defer then argue with everyone about how you won't be putting him in yet.

Why? He has a November birthday. So most kids will be at most 6 months older than him. There's absolutely no need to defer him. If you do then he'll be over a year older than some kids in his class? Why would you want that.

If this pre school is equivalent to reception in England it’s mostly play to learn it’s not that intense. There are always kids that are younger ones, if your child is already at nursery 4 days then I would send him. He will be used to some structure from nursery. Age isn’t always a factor in how a child gets on at school. If he was an anxious child , not used to being left , developmental problems that’s different. Ultimately you are his mother so you know what’s best.

Sorry to quote myself but just to be clear, my daughter is at nursery, but her nursery has 'ante' pre school and 'pre school' years within it. She started 'ante' pre school at 2.5 and there was no massive difference between her and the kids who were three. She will move up to pre school this summer at 3.5 and again, there is no real difference between her and her peers who are already turning 4.

Because he will be better at sports and academics, duh 🙄

My daughter started reception at just turned 4. She’s the youngest in her class by over a month.
She’s now y2 and is in the upper half of the class in terms of ability.
im very glad I didn’t defer

How will they be 18 months older? At school the oldest child will be a March birthday? Or do you mean children who were deferred from the year before? I guess they could be 12 months older but there is only one in my youngest sons class and none in my oldest sons class - I don't think as many people defer as you think.

Hahaha eeek

@mistermagpie because I met 4 parents 2 weeks ago at the school open day going into my sons year who have deferred.

Will he not be at a disadvantage?

In what way? I assume they would teach by ability not age.

@RicktheBrick

Vile comment. Jealous are we? Sounds like it.

Thanks for everyone who commentated with genuine comments.

I am also in Scotland and i know what you are saying but he wont be four and a half he will be four years and nine months.

Mine were also at private school and so will my grandaughter, she will be 4 years and 11 months and I know its expensive but you either want to and can or you just go to the nearest school. Holding him back for that reason is not fair on him.

It isn't fair on them. He'll stick out like a sore thumb. As previous poster said he's literally a couple of months off his 5th birthday when he's due to start school