Should I defer my child? He's three and a half?

[SecondtimeMama29]

I don't know whether to defer my child? He's three and a half and is meant to start pre-school in August.

However, his birthday is November.

Some of the kids in his class are already 4.

Op for future reference always mention its the Scottish system rather than English in your opening post as a lot of English posters struggle with the difference.

As for whether to defer... no one here can tell you as we have never met him. Do YOU think he's ready? Not his age, but by his ability etc?

My brother was youngest in his year (English August born, premature as well!) And he was considered for moving up a year as he was bored in Primary school. Deferring would have been really bad. My own DD could probably have done with deferring in early Primary, but now has caught up and is in top stream at Secondary.

I would say no, I think pre-school is brilliant for 3-4 year olds and they really benefit from it even if they're at the younger end. I don't quite understand the Scottish system but my friend's daughter was born in August and doing brilliantly at school despite being youngest in the class. It all evens out as they get older.

Why does no one understand HE WILL STILL GO TO PRESCHOOL BUT I AM DELAYING IT. 🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

So he would be 4-5 in preschool
Start actual school at 5 and a half

Don't shout.

What exact age would he be starting pre-school? In England children start at 3 (so might be only just 3 if September-born).

Only you know your child, if he's delayed in some way then of course it might be better to wait a bit longer. But if no concerns I expect he'll be fine and will love it.

So he will start at 4.5 years old? Will he be happy to do another year of nursery, especially as he is likely to repeat a lot of the same things he has already done? Will he miss the friends he has who are moving onto preschool, if you dfer will he be staying in a room with much younger children?

Only you know your child, but I don't see the harm in trying pre-school and deferring form 1 if you feel he's not ready to move up to a more formal class next year.

November is half way through the school intake.
I wouldn't I deferred my February child but not my December child. February child was bored lower down the school.

Be ware if you defer a November child they will be able to leave school half way through 4th year, so before even sitting the Nat 5s or whatever they replace it with

Send him to preschool! My middle child is November born (Scotland) and I deferred so he got 2.5 years of school nursery and started school at 5.75.

School were very relaxed and supportive they recommend you apply to defer and for a school place in January so you can make a decision shortly before they start as children change so quickly.

He was fine work wise but they supported the application saying he could use another year in nursery to develop socially. All children would benefit socially from more time in a relaxed nursery environment tbf.

If I hadn’t of deferred he’d of run into last years November deferrals and be with children who were a whole year older. One shared his birthday.

I think people are not realising that you are in Scotland, as in England I believe you can’t actually defer, but only delay when they start (I.e skip nursery, but they still have to start in reception once they turn 5 regardless), so people will usually advise to still send them to reception.

Obviously what you mean is start the whole process a year later. It really depends on your child, mine are august born in England and tbh could have done with deferring a year, others will fly regardless.

Why wouldn't you defer and have your child as one of the eldest? Is really my question?

OP my DS is the oldest in his year, started school when he was 5.

He's in year 1 now and to put it simply, he is BORED. So much so that it was causing massive issues at school so for the last half term of the year, they have put him into year 2 for most of his day. Problem solved, no more issues, he's happier, more engaged and likes the challenge and he's actually made friends (only started new school earlier this year due to moving). He's literally 2 days over the cut off to be in the next year and in hindsight, when he was 4, I wish I'd have looked into him starting earlier.

We’re in England but DD has a June birthday so one of the youngest but not THE youngest as the July and August birthdays are younger. So sort of the same. We didn’t defer. She also did preschool at a private a school starting at 3 years 3 months and because of the small class sizes they were really on it with supporting the transition to reception (first year of school) the following year. Have you asked the school if repeating preschool would be an option if you get towards the end of the year and everyone is in agreement that he’s not ready for P1? That way you could keep your options open.

Ah thank you. That's makes sense!

Yes this is exactly what I mean. 🙏🏼

My children started actually school at 3 days after their fourth birthday. They’re not the brightest in the class but they’re doing just fine!

The confusion is arising from three issues. In Scotland your year groups run from the end of February, and in England the year groups run from the start of September, so a November born in Scotland is equivalent to a June born in England.

In England there is an established deferral process if your child is 'summer born' (April, May, June, July, August birthday) which means they can start school in year R a year later than they typically would. That means that the year R age range will be 4 to rising 6. In Scotland, from 2023, any child can be deferred, so the age range in P1 is 4.6-6.6.

In Scotland, you are calling P1 'preschool' whereas in England Preschool is an equivalent to nursery. According to Google, P1 is equivalent to our 'Reception' class (year R).

No, the age of her child means that she's calling a preschool/nursery year preschool. He would be due to start P1 until 2024 at the earliest.

P1 can be half way between reception and Y1- our school used to to a lot more academic learning in P1 than you get in reception- though they've recently switched to a more play based learning so it's now a bit more reception-like. The kids are a bit older though as the youngest will be 4.5 when they start, sonthey do launch in very quickly. The Scottish system is just quite different and the years just don't match up.

You don’t need to think about it yet. You can do two years of preschool. Do a year of preschool and then decide whether to defer starting p1. You’re massively overthinking this.

No I'm not and you can't do two years of school here.

Please read - I'm in Scotland.

He also starts in 8 weeks. So it's not plenty of time.

Ah apologies!!!

Okay, so pre school here is reception!

I don't even understand this. Mine went to nursery (pre school) for 2 years.

He's at nursery.

Most kids here are in nursery till they're 3-4

Then pre-school for a year or school nursery if it's state

Then primary one or form one by the time they're 5

Can you talk to the school a bit more. I.e. can he do 2 years at preschool if you'd prefer that he doesn't move into P1? (More like the choice that you get with a state system).

Kids grow up soooo much between 3 and 5 so while he looks way to young now, in a years time he'll probably look ready for P1.

I think there are some disadvantages to potentially being the oldest by a few months as he may well be much more mature than the kids who are 15 months younger and find that he needs stretching more as he'll progress faster.

My kids (coming through state system) have all been wanting to learn to read at 4, and we've ended up feeling like we're holding them back if anything as schools start everyone from scratch in P1 so they are all learning together, so we've not wanted to push them too far ahead and then find they're bored at school.

Kids also seem to hang around with others their own age- ours are all friends with other spring/summer borns, some of the older Feb borns are friends with kids in the next year up as they're almost too mature for their year group, etc etc.

For me, if mind had been Jan/Feb born I probably would have deferred. But I'd have been much more reluctant for an autumn born child. And would really want to leave the final decision until half way though the preschool year if possible which doesn't sound like an option for you.

If I don't delay him. He will start actually school, or learning by 4 and a half.

I'm planning to keep him in nursery and defer the whole thing until he is 4 and a half for pre school

And 5 and a half for first year of learning at school

He will be in nursery 4 full days a week until then.

@Canyousewcushions

Well he's currently doing 7-5pm at nursery four days a week.

Pre school is 8-12 3 days a week and if I have to repeat that it's really expensive and half the hours he does currently.

I also don't want all his peers to go up a level and leave

Plus, it's a private school - so an extra year of fees for no reason.

I'd rather keep him at nursery as in Scotland you get free childcare past the age of 3