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Preschool education

Get advice from other Mumsnetters to find the best nursery for your child on our Preschool forum.

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Original poster

Deferred school entry - any thoughts ?

20 replies

dropscone · 01/02/2008 23:37

Hi - my DD3 was 4 at end of Nov. She is due to start school in August. As we live in Scotland this will make her one of the youngest in P1.But she doesn't have to start till she is 5 - which would make her one of the oldest in the year. The intake runs March - feb but in practice very few Jan/feb birthdays will go at 4, and increasingly dec and a few Nov.. Had a long meeting at Pre school today about whether or not to apply to defer for a year. They brought up her pencil-holding - won't do the crocodile grip, she struggles with the sounds - b is for bunny etc,isn't good at expressing her needs, sharing/taking turns is improving but not great. Sounds -ve but they aren't -ve about her as aperson - just want to know whther to 'push' her or if not going to school 'not push'. She has friends but no great attachments that she would miss if she didn't go to school. i thought 3rd childedrn were supposed to be more advanced ! Should I defer her a year ? My concerns about not sending her in August are - they can cahnge hugely in 6 months - she may not be ready now but she may be then - her cousin (1 month younger) is going - different school though - will she feel weird when she's older ? Will she get bored in P3 ? Am I just being precious and middle -class ?

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cluelessnchaos · 02/02/2008 23:37

I deferred dd2 she is end of feb brithday but, was reading and writing, my reasons were the expectaions of them at school p1 are really high, when I visited the school the kids seemed much older than her and there is generally a culture of holding the younger kids back so she would be out of her peer group if I had sent her. It was a really dull year for her doing another year of nursery but she is performing well at school. Hard decision good luck.

MeMySonAndI · 02/02/2008 23:44

I asked for deferred entry (DS was born in late February too), problem is that as the school didn't have an april entry, he was not allowed although they offered for him to go part time.

The other thing I noticed is that sometimes you may defer entry, but that doesn't mean she will go to reception one year later but that she may be sent straight to Y1 when she joins, which I'm not sure it is a better option.

cluelessnchaos · 02/02/2008 23:48

are you in england MMSAI, in Scotland they just go in a year later,

yelnats · 02/02/2008 23:51

Why dont you ask them to push her for school then nearer the time if you/and school still dont feel she's ready then keep her back then.

My cousin was in a similar predicament to you last year - her dd will be 5 at the end of Feb and went to school last August. Nursery said in the end though that she was ready for school though I think emotionally she was possibly not quite but the past few months she has really came on and she is doing well at school.

MeMySonAndI · 02/02/2008 23:52

Yes I am. I wish we have had the option of starting a real year later. He is one of the youngest in the class and he often gets labelled for not being as "advanced" as his peers but then, most of them have Autumn winters so even when DS is advanced for his age, he seems to be perceived as delayed due to be in a group with older kids.

MeMySonAndI · 02/02/2008 23:52

Autums winters??? I better go to sleep! Autumn birthdays even!

brimfull · 02/02/2008 23:54

Do you have to decide now?

cluelessnchaos · 02/02/2008 23:55

I know how you feel MMSAI, I was in the situation with dd1, who was the youngest in the year and I felt we had little choice but to put her into school certainly made the decision easier when it came to dd2, you could always move north of the border

MeMySonAndI · 03/02/2008 00:00

I would rather move south to another country where he is not expected to read and write at 4. (Having said that, he has been reading since he was 3 but still... as he is not very mature, it took weeks for the teacher to realise that I was not making it up when I said that he could read)

cluelessnchaos · 03/02/2008 00:03

Well scotland is the place for you, talent recognised but no expectation to perform until they are ready.I found the South of England really competitive, as an adult I thrived on it but dd1 did not, one of the main reasons we moved back up here.

Original poster

dropscone · 03/02/2008 01:48

ggirl- I have to make application to defer by end march, but pre school would like decision by half term so know where they stand.....

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cocopops · 05/02/2008 13:43

I know exactly your predicament as we have been through this very issue with school in the last week. My DD is a mid december birthday and they told us last week that while she would "cope" with P1, she would definitely benefit from another pre school year.

I spoke with loads of parents both at our school and others. The overwhelming view was that no one ever regretted holding back but some kids who went forward were asked to repeat a year later on which was much much worse.

We decided to go wtih the school's recommendation on the basis that they are the education professionals and also it won't do her any harm to defer but it could do a lot of harm to go ahead and struggle.

I also spoke with our local education early years department for their views also. I found that really helpful (we are City of Edinburgh).

Finally, a good piece of advice i was given was, go with your instincts- you kow your child best.

AMumInScotland · 05/02/2008 14:24

Not sure if it would affect your decision, but you may not get a funded pre-school place for her next year with a Nov birthday, it varies between councils.

On the other hand, if the Pre-school think they would need to "push" to get her ready, that may mean you spend the whole of P1 continuing to push to keep her up with the others, which puts a lot of extra pressure on both of you.

Original poster

dropscone · 05/02/2008 17:20

Coco - my head is so full of pros and cons that I'm finding it difficult to listen to my instincts.

Think the funding will be OK - even if its not we could pay for a place (is that possible ?)Compared with the thousands we were paying in childcare at one point it wouldn't be too bad.

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cocopops · 05/02/2008 21:37

good luck with whatever you decide. This parenting milarky is awfully difficult!!!!

singyswife · 05/02/2008 21:42

HI there, I am also in scotland and had to make this decision with dd1. Decided to defer and was def the best decision. Look forward to high school, if you send her to school now she is going to be a whole year behind her class mates. She will be a year behind with driving, puberty, all the things that you do in high school she will always be a year behind, we deferred dd becuase there was no harm to be done by not sending her but lots of harm could be done by sending her too soon. It wont do any harm to be at nursery for one more year. Hard decision to make, I know I had many sleepless nights but you know your child and you will make the right decision.

Original poster

dropscone · 07/02/2008 00:14

Thanks for all your comments -still swithering - DH very bored with conversation !

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Original poster

dropscone · 08/02/2008 10:40

Decided to keep backa year - thankd for your posts. x

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fatbetty · 15/05/2008 14:39

My DS2 has an August birthday and the cut-off is September. He is attending nursery and plans to go to Reception in the Autumn, but I really don't think he is ready for it. DS1 is in Reception this year and I know they are pushing reading and writing and DS2 doesn't even recognise his ABCs or 123s. I know he doesn't sing at school (but sings all the time at home) and the teachers comment that he will do things only when he wants to. I just feel like if he goes to Reception in September, he is going to get labelled as a problem child and get frustrated with everything. Not sure what to do. When I asked about keeping him back a year, they just said if he has problems with Reception, they would bring in tutors. Any advice or comments?

lingle · 19/06/2008 10:14

Are you in Scotland or England Fatbelly?

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