AIBU to expect preschool to prompt 4yo to get things out of bag?

[3773e]

4yo DS has not been drinking enough recently, and I have spoken to his preschool teachers about this and asked that they encourage him to drink, but I'm picking him up every day to find his water bottle still in his bag, completely full.
Most mornings I remind him myself, literally right in front of the teacher, to drink lots but I can't go in the building with him and make sure he gets it out the bag.
Several times now he has had a high temperature, stomach/headaches in the afternoon because he is so dehydrated.

I've had the same problem with his glasses. With the rush to get out of the house for the bus in the mornings, we kept forgetting DS's glasses, so I started putting them in his school bag and asked that the teacher remind him to put them on at school, but I generally find them still in his bag and he says he hasn't worn them all day.

I know that he has to learn to do these things himself at some point, but am I being unreasonable to expect that at his age he could be prompted?

Tbh you need to remember his glasses yourself. If you can't remember what 1 child needs how can a teacher be criticised for not remembering when he's in a class of 30?

The water, well yes they should encourage him to drink. But they can't exactly pour it down his throat. You probably need to settle for getting him well hydrated with breakfast and then keep reminding him to do it himself.

I think you are forgetting that the teacher has many other kids whose parents also expect them to remind their dc to put on their glasses, wipe themselves after the toilet, drink, take their inhaler, put their cardigan in their bag, eat their snack etc etc.

If your dc has a drink in the morning and a drink at lunch and is offered a drink at break they are getting enough opportunities to drink. It may well be that he is drinking out of a cup at these times and therefore isn't fussed about his water bottle. People forget that children used to survive before water bottles just fine. If a child is thirsty, they will ask for a drink.

If he needs glasses why isn’t he wearing them to school.

The teacher has 30 children to teach - she’s not their nanny.

Put his glasses on at the school gate/door. That’s something you need to get him into a routine with.

Just let him wear his glasses to school, even if they are just for reading the 5/10 minutes of wearing them to school won't harm. As long as he has a drink with breakfast and a drink at lunchtime and you take him a drink for on the way home he shouldn't be getting overly dehydrated.

Sorry but I think yabu - if you can't remember his glasses when leaving the house, it's hardly fair to expect the teacher to remember when she has 29 other pupils who may have similar parent requests.
If you can't remember to lift the glasses when leaving in the morning, start getting them out his bag before he goes in and telling him to put them on.

For water, are you sure he's just choosing not to drink it? Even if the teacher reminds him to take it out his bag, she can't force him to drink it. If he's thirsty, he'll likely remember it or ask for a drink when the teacher can prompt him

It's not unreasonable to expect the teachers to encourage him to drink water, but I would expect that at lunchtime/breaks rather than throughout the day.

In the mornings, at the gate, get his glasses and water bottle out. Have him put his glasses on and hand him his water bottle to carry in. This might help.

Also make sure her drinks at least a full cup of water at breakfast. It might help if he has cereal and milk or something as well to get more liquid in.

There are too many kids for them to keep track of everything and teach as well, so every thing you can do will help.

I don’t think you are being unreasonable. He’s in preschool, they have higher ratios to allow for these sort of things.
my four year old is in reception and I frequently have to ring the school secretary about missing uniform, drink more, etc as he’s a school bus kid and I only see the Teacher at parents evenings. Thankfully the secretary is amazing and always helps

You are forgetting his glasses leaving home but expect the teacher to remember with a class full. Why not put his glasses on before class and hand him his water bottle before he goes in. Or maybe offer so kind or reward like a sticker or so if he remembers to drink his water. Your son is not the onlu child in the class.

Can you get his water out of his bag and put it in his hand at the door?

This is what you need to do, with the glasses as well.

Teacher here.

What previous posters are saying is right.

Can you not put his glasses on him before going into school? If you can't remember them for one child in the morning, please don't be angry at the teacher for forgetting to remind your DS in a class full of children.

Does the class have an allocated place for water bottles? If so, put the bottle in your DS' hand as he walks into the classroom. It may be that he is drinking from a cup during the day. I've had children do this, even though they have a water bottle in school! It appears to be a bit of a novelty at times.

Please be kind to the teacher/other staff. If you had any idea how much we've got to remember in a day, even before we actually teach, you would understand!

I know that you also acknowledge this but yes, he does need to understand, from an early age, that small tasks like this are his responsibility. It's not "the teacher's fault" if he forgets something. Have an open, frank conversation about it. Explain that the teachers have a lot to think about and so it will be up to him to try and remember his glasses and water bottle each day. Really sell it as something 'big boys' do. The earlier we encourage this independence, the better.

Ridiculous- do you think the teacher has 30 pairs of hands and eyes to keep count of what each and every child needs. You keep forgetting your ONE child's glasses but expect a teacher to remember that and check your ds water bottle? Please just stop with that, teachers are there to teach. Teach your ds to be more responsible, he is 4 but very soon he will be expected to do all of that on his own .

Can you get him some of those glasses 'straps' no idea what they are called soz so you can just put his glasses on like a kind of necklace in the morning when he's getting dressed, if you do it often enough it will become routine and you'll do it without thinking :-)

Yes the teacher of 4 year olds ought to be used to reminding them all or individually to put on their glasses, drink their water, get their library book out of their bag, wash their hands etc. Because they are 4. Surely the teacher could just write a checklist on the board and go through it: "everyone, have you got your water bottles out, got your book and pencil out of your tray, been to the toilet, Johnny what about your glasses, Irene blah blah etc." making eye contact with the relevant child? Mine did, my children's did.

Well she's not forgetting the glasses is she because they are in the bag. Some children would only wear glasses some of the time anyway, for reading for example, so the teacher/TA would have to guide them when to put their glasses on and take off again. By the end of the year I'd expect most children to have learnt to take that responsibility themselves but it's only 2/3 through the first term.

There were 36-ish children in my class through primary school, we had no TA, and yes they did keep count of what each and every child needs to the extent that it was needed, while encouraging independence and not taking any nonsense.

I think some teachers, although they have increasingly difficult jobs, aren't very organised themselves which makes their job even more difficult.

If the child can't see properly, for whatever reason at all and whoever's fault it is, that isn't going to make the day go well in that classroom is it?

What is meant to happen with water? If they get a drink at snack time and lunch then o wouldn’t worry too much about additional water.
If they are meant to use their own water then they need a better system than the bottle being in the bag.

Just realised this is pre-school, not school. In that case, it's even more unreasonable.

@LadyMarmaladeAtkins

This thread is 4 months old. I understand the new similar thread feature is dragging up zombie threads, but you've posted 3 times in a row and seem pretty invested so I thought i'd better mention the date. The Op didn't reply when it was a new thread so I doubt they're coming back 4 months later.

Definitely unreasonable about the glasses. That's on you to make sure he puts them on. He needs to get into the routine of putting them on when he puts his uniform on. Maybe you could help him out his glasses in his case next to his uniform before bed so that it's out there ready for him to put on once he's got dressed.

With the drinking I think you've done all you can buy asking the teacher to remind me but I don't think you should ask again.

People forget that children used to survive before water bottles just fine.

True but we were encouraged to use the water fountain in the cloakroom, given milk at break (free until it was cancelled and then free water and 5p for a glass of milk, flavoured or plain), and had water and glasses on the tables at lunchtime and the example of older children and teachers all eating together and demonstrating table manners and to drink. State school by the way, nothing fancy.

Why don't you hook the ear of his glasses through the hole in his coat zip so they're hanging from his coat? Then you can't forget them and he has to put them on when he puts his coat on.