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Preschool education

Get advice from other Mumsnetters to find the best nursery for your child on our Preschool forum.

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Original poster

Changing nursery at age 4

19 replies

mama1987 · 11/12/2021 23:38

So DS turns 4 next month and will be starting school in September next year. We have just moved house and I’ve just started maternity leave - baby is due in a week. The predicament I’m faced with is that DS is in a nursery that he’s been in since he was 11 months old, but it’s just not practical now as it was close to work rather than home and now I’m on maternity leave it just seems really impractical. Since moving house I’m finding it’s taking nearly half an hour each way in the car - 4 times a day, 3 days a week. What with the journey soon to include a newborn baby too the thought of it is making me wonder.. do I move him at this late stage to the local nursery a 10 minute walk from our house? Or just suck it up for another 6 months as he’ll be finishing for school then anyway? If we did move him would he adapt ok what with all the other changes too, new house and new baby? Would it be totally selfish of me to move him?

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Thegreencup · 11/12/2021 23:40

Can't you keep him home with you if you're going to be on mat leave?

It is an awful lot of change going on for him in a short space of time. At least if you keep him home then he won't feel pushed out by the baby.

8dpwoah · 11/12/2021 23:42

Is taking him out completely an option (or reducing the days to make the driving a bit less)? We ended up taking DD out when I was 37 weeks as our previously excellent nursery seemed to be having a few issues and I didn't want to risk covid messing up my birth arrangements. Then we decided there's no point her going back as we're looking to move house, bit having to pay the nursery bill every month has been nice! We can go out every day for the cost of one nursery day and it's really not been that bad having a newborn and toddler (so far).

I couldn't be doing with all the rigmarole if resettling into a new nursery for the sake of six months so I'd either take him out or cut down to the bare minimum.

Original poster

mama1987 · 11/12/2021 23:43

I feel that it’s important for him to keep attending nursery, in preparation for him starting school next year.

OP posts:

Brunts12 · 11/12/2021 23:46

Personally, I’d keep him in his current nursery. New baby, new house and new nursery would be a lot to adjust to for a little guy, in my opinion.

HardbackWriter · 11/12/2021 23:47

Ah, that's tough timing - I think I probably would keep him in the nursery and endure the journey, but I can see why you don't want to, especially with a newborn. I definitely wouldn't take him out of nursery altogether - I found DS1's nursery days a life saver when DS2 was tiny and it also felt like an important source of consistency for DS1 when a lot was changing in his life.

Presumably if the nursery is near your work it isn't practical for your partner to do any of the nursery runs? Even taking a couple of the journeys off your hands could really help.

Also, have you checked that the local nursery has spaces?

ElephantandGrasshopper · 11/12/2021 23:47

Is there a nursery attached to the school? If so I'd send him there.

Mumoftwoinprimary · 11/12/2021 23:49

@ElephantandGrasshopper

Is there a nursery attached to the school? If so I'd send him there.

This.

Otherwise I’d leave him where he is.

UpsyDaisysarmpit · 11/12/2021 23:54

Does the school he'll be at have a nursery? That would be ideal as he would get to meet some of the teachers and classmates beforehand. Or yes, move to the local nursery if that's what you want. I took my DS out when I went on maternity leave with my youngest as it was expensive. He was almost 3 and when he turned 3 I gratefully used his (then) 2.5 hours a day preschool hours to go back to the same nursery on a preschool basis. We then moved house in the July when he was 3.5 and couldn't get a place in the local school nursery but got a place in the also very local day nursery for 3 mornings a week (15 hours). This worked well as many of the kids were local.
Another option when you're on ML is to take up a local preschool or playgroup place so he gets used to being left a few hours somewhere and you get to know local families and make new connections?
Good luck whatever you do!

Original poster

mama1987 · 12/12/2021 00:40

@ElephantandGrasshopper

Is there a nursery attached to the school? If so I'd send him there.

No it’s not attached to a school, but as it’s a local nursery the chances are he would be mixing with some of the kids who will end up at his primary school. The nursery is close to 2 schools.

OP posts:

Original poster

mama1987 · 12/12/2021 00:44

@HardbackWriter

Presumably if the nursery is near your work it isn't practical for your partner to do any of the nursery runs? Even taking a couple of the journeys off your hands could really help.

Also, have you checked that the local nursery has spaces?

It’s not all that practical for my partner as he leaves for work too early to be able to take him, although could sometimes pick him up depending on workload on the day.

I was planning to speak to the nursery on Monday to see about spaces, and also to ask the schools the kids tend to go to after (there are two local schools which don’t have a nursery/pre-school attached).

OP posts:

Original poster

mama1987 · 12/12/2021 00:47

@Brunts12

Personally, I’d keep him in his current nursery. New baby, new house and new nursery would be a lot to adjust to for a little guy, in my opinion.

That’s the worry

OP posts:

Phoenix76 · 12/12/2021 01:01

I kept my eldest in her nursery (same situation as you except my dd was 3) she loved it and it worked out well for all of us. Baby was much more portable than I anticipated and eldest dd was very happy. It took a couple of weeks for our new routine to establish but it was worth it. Whatever you decide, you’ll be fine.

collybubble · 12/12/2021 08:39

I think it's important for
Him to continue with nursery but 30 min drive with a newborn will be tough on you

can you reduce his days? So maybe just 2/3 days in and the rest at home?

Original poster

mama1987 · 13/12/2021 22:55

@collybubble

I think it's important for Him to continue with nursery but 30 min drive with a newborn will be tough on you

can you reduce his days? So maybe just 2/3 days in and the rest at home?

He does 3 days now, I wouldn’t want to reduce that as I want him to be ready for school when he starts next year.

OP posts:

Original poster

mama1987 · 13/12/2021 22:58

Thanks everyone for your comments. I’m looking around the local nursery tomorrow, and hopefully another local one too if they have spaces. Both will have children who will be going on to the school he’ll be going to.

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HelloNope · 13/12/2021 23:00

I'd move him to the more local one, especially if he will make friends there who'll be attending the same primary as him.

Bunnycat101 · 23/12/2021 08:07

Could you mix and match so he has 2 longer days at the old nursery giving you some 1:1 time with the baby and then pick up some 1:2 days at a local one?

It’s a lot of change for him but a move now might be easier than seeing all his friends at the old nursery go to school together etc. I think it does help to get to know some of the children likely to be in school with him. I’ve been quite surprised at how strong the nursery friendships still seem to be in year 1 in my daughter’s class. She will play with other children but she spends the vast majority of her time with her friends from nursery still.

Original poster

mama1987 · 24/12/2021 03:57

We made the decision to move him to the local nursery - he starts in January. I felt quite reassured that he would be mixing with kids in the local area, and the fact of the matter is where he is now he will never see those kids again after September next year as none will go on to attend the same school.

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owlpacker · 23/05/2023 23:01

Hi, I know this is a very old thread now but I'm in this exact predicament myself and really not sure what to do. It's like choosing what's best for one child over what's best for the other!! How did your son get on in the end?

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