School nursery - how to prepare?

[TakeMeToYourLiar]

DS starts school nursery in the autumn. He will start reception in Sep 21

This was a last minute decision due to Covid etc so compared to most decisions I make was not thought through.

I know it's not school, but it's in school building, next to reception abd in uniform so maybe it's skewing me perception.

Reasons I am worried:

• he is toilet trained but uses a potty not a toilet at home. He does try to wipe himself but not well
• he can't dress himself. He can pyt on his coat but can't zip it up. I'm trying to teach him to fasten his school shoes
• he is having school lunches but there is no way he could carry a tray of lunch to a table. He also reverts to eating with his fingers often
• sitting still. I don't know if he will sit down for story time etc, at home he is never stationary.

I'm trying to work on these things with him but I only have 6 weeks. Will they be able to cope?

No advice but just to say exact same situation here with my DTs. I'm quite concerned about all of the things you mention, one twin still has poo accidents too. They're 4 at the beginning of January and start reception in September 21 so they'll be 4 and a half but for this year preschool I am wondering what is going expected of them and how they'll manage. They're still so diddly aren't they!

Hi, the school I work at has a nursery attached. We would expect all those things from a three year old. Each one is different.

You're right to focus on the practical things such as doing up his coat, taking turns, following instructions etc. Don't worry if he can't do those things, they will come!

Hope he enjoys it!

I work in a school and have a 5 year old, please don't stress! It's highly unlikely that all children will be able to do everything you've listed at that age, school nursery staff are brilliant at encouraging them to do things on their own but will also step in to help! The only thing I'd try to do it maybe change from a potty to an actual toilet, but again the toilets are mini sized so even if you don't master that chances are they'll be ok at school. My 5 year old is going into year 1 this year and still needs help with things like doing up her buttons or putting her tights on, and she has always been happy to sit still at school but is basically feral at home 🙈 it's amazing how quickly they pick up the boundaries!

Thank you, that's reassuring.

I think the problem with a toilet is he feels unstable, so if it was a small one he would probably be better.

I think if I had visited school I would be happier but it wasn't an option this year

It's a scary transition but it's usually more scary for us as parents, generally the kids are fine. My little girl was only able to do the zip up on her coat midway through reception and even now although she can eat with a knife and fork she prefers to eat with her hands. In the school I work in we always help kids with their lunch trays too that's why there are staff on duty. You'll always here people say 'by this age they should be able to do this' but all kids do things at different ages and I've stopped stressing, mine will do far more when she's in school than she does at home!

He needs to use a toilet, maybe get him a toilet seat?

Lots of 3 year olds can't do zips, just make sure he can put it on (including pulling the arms the right way out!)

Get him shoes with velcro

Keep reminding him about using cutlery, but he will be helped with his tray.

@SandieCheeks

He needs to use a toilet, maybe get him a toilet seat?

Lots of 3 year olds can't do zips, just make sure he can put it on (including pulling the arms the right way out!)

Get him shoes with velcro

Keep reminding him about using cutlery, but he will be helped with his tray.

He has a toilet seat, but it wobbles. He will happily stand and use a toilet, but that doesn't work if he needs to poo :(

If it's a smaller toilet it may well be fine, but if course we don't have one of those at home

Nursery staff are quite used to what 3/4 yr olds are capable of and follow the EYFS, whatever setting they attend. They will have enough staff to ensure they have the help they need. Lots of children moving to preschool still struggle with potty training so your child sounds like he’s doing great. They learn about doing shoes and coats etc during the year running up to school so sounds like your child is doing great with that too.

Don’t worry, your child will have fun and the staff know what to expect.

Thanks @Tumbleweed101 you are right I think I'm overly focussed on the fact it's "school" when it is of course "nursery"

Are they likely to do phonics etc?

Hi, Nursery teacher here. If possible get him Velcro shoes, it’s hard work tying laces on top of everything else. Wiping just keep working on but nursery staff should be able to help with this or guide him to do it himself. If he’s carrying a tray I’d be surprised, I wouldn’t expect a nursery child to do this.
Biggest thing that jumped out is getting him sitting on a toilet seat, sounds like he’s potty trained but not fully toilet trained. Tell the nursery about this when he starts so they can encourage him.

We do phonics groups but not until after Christmas but it’s different in all nurseries. Before then I drop it in, have it as part of play and activities as first phase is listening.

Thanks @1AngelicFruitCake we've been making a lot of progress on using the toilet at home so fingers crossed it should be fine.

We were meant to have a zoom call with the teacher in July, but I've just realised it's now August and no one has been in contact. Hopefully we will get an opportunity to talk at some point.

Without coming across as one of those mumsnet mums, can I ask what you do if a child is "ahead" in phonics. DS knows all the letter sounds, not for individual letters but also say ""ay" makes an A sound as in day". He can also spell and read a lot of phonetically simple words, cat, park, stop, day etc. Which is fine, I'm just worried he might be a little bored (and therefore disruptive) if being taught SATP

Let him settle in first, there might be other areas he needs to focus on. If you feel you need to then mention it to the teacher after they’ve had time to get to know him.

Thanks, you are right there are lots of areas he needs to work on