Incident at pre-school

[Tonii1985]

My daughter is 3.5 and in a class with other children between 3.5 and 4.5.

Today she came home with her knickers and tights pulled down passed her bum and she told me that another little girl had rolled up a playdough worm and put it in her vagina. My DD said she told her it was cold and the other little girl took it away.

I've already asked her teacher for a chat about this tomorrow but I'm not sure how worried I should be.

Any people who know about this kind of thing - is this normal behavior for a child of this age or is this really quite serious?

Thank you

Did the teacher notice that her underwear was pulled down?

That's quite serious. It would raise red flags with the staff as to potential abuse of the little girl who did it. In addition to informing nursery I would give your DD the PANTS talk and ask them to do it at nursery too (normally done in reception)

Op that’s serious and I would be very worried. Yes kids play and explore but there should be high ratios of adults at that age, did they not notice?
They will have safeguarding lead you need to involve them too

Your daughter has been sexually assaulted.
It's very very serious that this child has learnt and probably re-enacted seen behaviour.

I hope your daughter isn't too upset, I wouldn't make a fuss about it in front of her to adults. Explain in simple language that what happened was wrong, you'll speak to the teacher and make sure she's protected etc. Also that you believe her and she's not in any trouble even if she is told otherwise or someone tries to make her feel that way.

Personally I'd ring Nspcc helpline for advice before speaking to nursery.

This is a serious safeguarding issue. Both for your dd and also the little girl who may also need protecting from something.

Write down what you want to say to nursery. Do they have policies online you can read to make sure what they do is correct. Also be sure about what outcome you want with regards dd. What do you want the, to do.

My daughter said she thought it was funny and doesn't seem very effected by it but obviously I'm taking it seriously. Also she told me straight away so I feel like it must have stood out to her as being wrong/strange/noteworthy). I have just had the pants talk with her and will speak to her main teacher about it tomorrow (my DD goes part time so isn't back in until Monday). Thanks all.

Calling the NSPCC is a great shout - thank you.
The pre-school are genuinely really good and just recently got Ofsted Outstanding in all areas including safeguarding. I am concerned that they didn't seem to notice though, they have low teacher/child ratio.

Sorry, but I don’t believe this happened.

Definitely notify the school straight away as this is a serious safeguarding issue - the little girl that did this could be seriously at risk. I'd be raising the issue of adequate supervision with the nursery too. V concerning, your poor DD, glad she seems ok.

@Clangus00 what possible reason could you have to accuse the op or a 3 year old of lying about this

@Clangus00 what do you mean?

@Atla totally agree

Penetration with any object is a 'red light' level safeguarding concern which the preschool would have to report to their local safeguarding authority.

Bear in mind they would have to investigate the facts dispassionately and, with respect, consider the possibility your DD may be making a false claim. Despite what people believe, children do occasionally make up some fanciful stories about such serious matters.

I work in a preschool. I'm trying to imagine this situation happening in my setting and can't. If it happened, then it must mean the children are out of sight for significant amounts of time.

If I found that a child had her pants and tights rolled down below her bottom, I would think that she hadn't pulled them up properly after toileting. I presume your child was wearing a dress or a skirt, so it wasn't immediately obvious.

Of course speak to the preschool manager about this straight away. It may be that they need to review their supervision of areas such as the children's toilets, which usually have cubicle doors to protect their privacy. They will also want to look closely at the other child, because this behaviour is a signal of potential safeguarding issues.

I think the previous poster doubting the veracity of the situation was harsh but not out of line... it may be a story based on things your child has been talking about with her friends, or similar - I've seen children tell stories like this that absolutely provably could not have happened, they're imaginative, it happens.

I'm glad your child is okay, but do keep an eye for any behavioural changes while you wait to speak to the preschool, and be there to listen if she tells you more.