X bit my DS, or did he?

[Lala2989]

DS started preschool last month, he's 3. Most of the kids in his class have been there a year already, the mums are quite cliquey and the kids already have friends. Wasn't bothered as my little one makes friends easy.

He seems ok, doesn't say much, but comes out happy enough. Have noticed he's got pretty rough with sharing with his sister (1yr) since starting though, he used to be very good at it. Everything is now "his"...

Anyway, he's come out of class today and before I could even get to him I'm told I have to sign an accident form. I'm waiting around for ages whilst all the other mums chatter away, a couple signing accident forms ahead of me...

I asked DS what had happened, he said "X bit my finger", so I looked there's no mark, seems alright now, and not bothering him. Continue chatting till we get to the teacher... she faffs about with the iPad with said accident note on it, "DS trapped his finger in a bike during an altercation with another child" - please sign here ...

I pushed it a bit, a helper said they were arguing about who's turn it was and my DS is strong willed.

Now... I know he is "strong willed", but shouldn't I of been told if it was a bite rather than a "trapped finger" ????

These things happen, I've spoken to DS and explained if someone is playing with something, he can asked nicely to play with it too or he has to wait his turn, with the timer, just like everyone else. Que "ok mummy sorry mummy"

Question I'm asking is; Did he get bitten? Did the staff know he got bitten? Is my son naughty? Is he constantly having things taken off of him, hence the "it's mine" at home?

He's my oldest so haven't done preschool before... is this normal?

There's not much you can do if you've already spoken to someone who witnessed it. There's no straight answer to your questions, just watch out for any patterns of behaviour and do mention any concerns to his key worker. I wouldn't say your son is naughty, he's 3.

My son, also 3, was bitten on the finger last week. The teacher told me so (accident report form to sign too). The bite marks were nowhere to be seen but they outlined what was done to treat it, how they comforted him, how long he cried, etc. After some digging it turns out DS was bitten because he's a bit of a stickler for rules and this child wasn't listening to the teacher, so DS put his hand on the child's shoulder to stop him and got bitten. The child was spoken to by teachers. All my son could say was 'X bit me on my finger', but without the context. I can only trust what the teacher says and watch out to see if it happens again. Be careful about asking if he's been bitten, my 3 year old hasn't forgotten and will repeat the incident like it happened that day. I've since had words with DS to not touch children if they're not listening to the teacher.

I've also known it from the other side, where my young cousin wouldn't stop biting in preschool. As soon as he was identified as a serial biter, they had many words with his mum. He was almost thrown out of the nursery. So I assume that there is a line between what's 'normal' and 'excessive' in a preschool environment.