Please tell me I am not adversely affecting my child for not sending her to "school"...

[ELF1981]

Okay, she's only 20 months, but at the mo, all my friends with children the same age or slightly older have sorted out "pre-school" nursery type things in the next few months. The youngest attending will be just over 2.
I had planned not to send my little girl until she is as old as I can get away with... but am I adversley affecting her by not sending her?
What age should they be going?

2 is very young (20 months even more so). Follow your instinct. It won't let you down.

I chose to send DS1 at nearly 3 years to preschool for 2 mornings a week which I've ramped up slowly over the last two years until only this week (the half term before he's in school in September) he's starting to go 5 mornings. He's old in the year so he'll be nearly 5 when he starts school.

I think he's benefitted greatly from lots of time with me doing normal everyday things (included a couple of toddler groups a week) and plenty of gardening. He's also benefitted from time away from me to grow and form relationships which aren't under my nose. I have a good relationship with the pre-school and am amazed how much he relates things going on there to homelife and vice versa. He's an individual with his own life and he's loving it.

DS2 will start pre-school in September at 2 and 10 months and again it'll just be for 2 mornings initially. Again he's old in the year and will be going for 2 years before he starts school. I see no reason to change what worked so well for DS1. Slow and steady and at our own pace.

Good luck in your decisions

I dont see the need to push dd into going there, she's with other children her age when at the childminders, and goes to toddler groups and to the childminders sister who is also a childminder so sees the other kids there.
it's just with the more people doing it, DH seems to want to put dd in that position too, just so she is not at a disadvantage, but I just want her to enjoy childhood as much as possible before she has to go to school.

Of course not!

My dd stayed at 'home' with me until the September after she was 3, when she went to pre-school and it was fab!

No, you're not. Keep her at home as long as it suits you and enjoy.....

Phew, thanks

In a few other countries they don't formally 'school' children until they're 7 and they still manage to attain good, if not better, standards of education than the Brits do. Don't feel pressured, do it when you're ready.

my ds didnt go until the term before he went to infants school (so was 4) and he has been absolutely fine, didnt miss out on anything and isnt a problem at school.

I agree with you whole heartedly ELF ? if I?d had the choice and not ?had? to go back to full time work when DS was 9 months, I would not have even thought of sending him off to any kind of ?pre school-without-me? kind of activity.
But, in hindsight (wonderful thing I know), I now see all the kids lining up at the school door. The ones who went to some kind of ?without-mama-kind-of-activity? seem to be getting on better than who have spent all their time with mum ?til now - they are the ones who are STILL (3/4 of a year later) stood there crying and having to be cajoled into going into class?..but, horses for causes and all that ? you know your child best.