Getting 3 year old to talk about their day..

[pollygreen7]

DS (3.5) is in pre-reception after previously being at home. Every day when I ask him what he's done he says 'no' and covers his eyes. He is very tired as its a big change, but would love any advice as I'm itching to find out about his day/ friends/ activities. Will he come to it on his own? The teachers have a lesson plan we can see on the door but I'd love his take on things...

I've tried 'drawing' his day but with limited success... How do you find out what your child has done?

Don’t ask what they did, they can’t remember. If you know they did something from their plan then say ‘ooh, I see you did welly throwing today’. Also questions like ‘what made you laugh today’ or ‘what made you cross’ or ‘was it sunny today’ can be good. We also try and talk about our day as adults so we get the same questions out back to us. But to be honest it is very hard at any age!

DS is 7yo and still: what did you do today? Nothing. Who did you play with? No one.

He may randomly blurt something out later, about drawing a picture of his summer holiday or something. But we don't push.

When DS was three I used to ask him who was the naughtiest at nursery that day
He loved to tell me , and also ask what’s was for lunch

Then your hear the rest of the news once they start to char

Try this technique ..

Ask him to grade his day out of 10. 10 being brilliant and 1 being terrible

So, when he says ' 6 out of 10' you're able to say 'oh not bad! What did you take 4 points off for?'

And so on and so forth. It's what I do with my 11 year old who's just gone into year 7 and it means I'm straightaway able to get a feel for the sort of day he's had and it definitely opens up a discussion without me having to fire questions at him

The only info I get volunteered is played with trains. Detective skills elicit sand or paint from residue about her person so she agrees with that. Usually she remembers what the snack was and we leave it at that!

Definitely start with prompts, things you know that happened. Lunch, snack time, stories they read.

Did you dress up, play with sand, water, outside? Can you tell me one exciting thing that happened today? That one still works on my school age DC...

At that age dc1 used to tell me about what people had said, not what they'd done. So I wouldn't hear that they were learning about where food comes from but would know that Hannah had told her that her grandma had two goats and Hanna had watched them being milked...

Dc2 would tell me snippets - mostly about playing football or what he'd made, but again not curriculum stuff. He'd also tell me things a teacher had said if they troubled him, or about things he'd perceived as unfair, but often not til a day later.

Dc3 told me absolute fantasy stories as fact - a which or a magician was usually involved

Dc1 and dc3 talked a lot on the journey home, but dc2 couldn't talk about his day til the evening and needed to be left alone to play quietly first.

You have to find your own child's angle and talkative time. Just asking what they did rarely works.

Witch not which

I used to ask for two good things and two bad things that had happened. Sometimes still do it with 6th form ds!

I find it gets worse tbh, they can never remember or want to switch off as they get older.
teens you are lucky to get the timetabled subjects read out to you, if you ask.
He'll either do it in his own time or just no be into sharing it with you.

I ask if she wants to hear about my day, or say "ooh do you know, something really funny happened to me today" and once I am talking she often does too.

I must admit I find this one of the most frustrating parts of being a parent. If I ask a direct question about her day she just ignores it.

We do one good thing, one bad thing. Have done it since they were very small and we all take it I turns to answer.

I used to say 'I bet I had a better day than you because I found washing powder on buy one get one half price'

'Oh no mummy my day was much more fun than that because I did...'

We do 'what made you smile today?' round the dinner table. DH and I often forget to start it but the DC never do, and they're 9 and 11 now.

I always ask what was the best and worst thing about their day. That always gets an answer!

Thank you all for superb ideas, I think grading the day and 'good' and 'bad' parts will work. I've primed husband for the morning that we also need to be modelling this ourselves talking about our days in a way he can understand.

Hopefully with a bit of time he will open up, but I'll have to stop holding my breath!

My 3 year old is the same!! She puts her hand sober her face and says 'I'm too shy'

I think she can't remember when out on the spot. She usually gives bits and bobs away accidentally through gender chatting rather than me asking her questions about her day

This thread made me laugh because i thought i was the only one with this issue. When I ask my 3.5 DS how his day was he says good and when i ask him what he did he answers with one word "everything"

So now I just ask him if he was happy and he says yes and that's all I get from him....

What happens in preschool stays at preschool!

In the car on the way home, I asked dgs5 had he had a good day. He told me I was talking too much!

We do 4 questions before bedtime each night and I always find they end up turning into a lovely conversation about their day

Ask them what made them

1. happy
2. sad
3. scared
4. excited

that day. Each one as it’s own question. You’ll find they will love it and end up opening up more about their day. It’s also a good way of practicing voicing their feelings from a young page.

My daughter and I (just turned 4) talk about our favourite and least favourite parts of our day, she loves it. If if flat out ask her how she got on at nursery she tells me it’s a secret !

First rule of preschool - don’t talk about preschool.
This rule seems to apply until about age 7 or 8, after that they’re no longer under the Official Secrets Act.