Should I be trying to do the EYFS with my kids?

[DieAntword]

I am a SAHM and sort of in two minds about sending my eldest to nursery once he turns 3 and I get 15 free hours. I kind of want to homeschool once he's 5 but I think it is hard for very young children to socialise without being pushed into it so I can see the benefits.

Thing is, up until then I absolutely can't afford it either way so I am wondering if I ought to be trying to teach things in the curriculum to my son or else he will end up way behind other children who mostly do go to nursery and be at a disadvantage from the outset. When he was one I was absolutely sure he was THE MOST advanced baby in the world, incredibly clever and would always be, but as he gets older I become aware of his weaker areas (mark making, pretend play - he does it but it's very limited and stilted, confidence in conversation with unfamiliar people, peer interaction) although he still has strengths (very good verbal skills, great with numbers, lots of pre-literacy skills, lots of general knowledge stuff - shapes, colours, birds, animals, trees, flowers etc, very good memory for books and songs).

His social and communication and fine motor are the things I feel he needs most encouragement in. Thing is I am a pretty divided person at the best of times - the type A side of me wants to prepare games and activities to work with him to improve his weak spots and then the type B side of me feels like, he's not even 2 yet (for another 2 weeks), he will probably come into his own in time, people in most times in history didn't make desperate efforts to coach their kids into fitting into some developmental framework and for the most part they still grew up to become competent adults etc etc.

So yeah...

You don't need to 'teach' it. You just need to do a wide variety of stuff and talk to your DC, and then you will find you have covered it all naturally.

So provided you read stories, paint/scribble, play with water, count things like steps, go to the park, scoot, kick a ball, go to the zoo, notice the seasons, have playdates etc you will be just fine imo.

Yeah we do most of those... playdates have been the hardest, I don't know anyone with same age kids well enough to ask. I have people who come over and bring their kids but their kids tend to be closer to 4 than 2. We do go to bounce and rhyme on mondays, playgroup on wednesdays, read and rhyme on thursdays and I am thinking of going to another playgroup where they do arts and crafts and stuff on tuesdays and he gets the opportunity to interact with other children (and adults) at these things but he never does really, he is maybe starting to talk to people that aren't me or his dad with a HUGE amount of coaxing, but it's really like pulling teeth and he mostly gets very shy and just sucks his thumb, which is sad because he's a great conversationalist and really good at expressing his needs and feelings with us and even telling really basic stories about things.

He's not even 2 yet.

Conversations build up gradually, DD2 didn't even link 3 words until she turned 3.

Playing with other children develops from age 3 iirc. But playgroups are great as he will have to learn about sharing & turn taking there etc. If you are doing playgroups you don't need playdates (though maybe you will get to know other parents there?)

Agree with the others, he sounds lovely and on track, and you're doing a great job. If you expose him to lots of things he'll find his favourites and with time he'll catch up with the others too - for example one of mine was drawing properly detailed pictures when she started nursery at 3 but couldn't ride a balance bike, the other couldn't hold a pen properly, but was able to use a pedal bike. Within a few months of nursery both had picked up other skills from exposure and seeing kids around them.
Mine had also never been to nursery before 3, they'd been with me and with a nanny, but were absolutely fine. Nursery is very used to it and in a year he will be so different in terms of his sociability and readiness, it will be fine.

It is really hard because, he's my first so he is kind of my mental "template" for what a child his age is like. I've been calling him 2 for the past couple of months because it's so close now so I already feel like he's been 2 for ages. He is as I said, really good on his speech, full sentences for months and months now (he started with 2 words together at 13 months) so in some ways I almost mistake him for an older child and then get worried that he isn't in all ways like that older child. His most recent achievement in speech is using "why" and "because" (because more than why though) - so for instance the day before yesterday my husband asked him for a kiss and he said no and my husband feigned offence and then asked why not and he - with extreme frustration in his voice said "because the brother is in the way!!!"

And that seems like normal now talking like that, expressing himself, and then you forget that he's still a tiny little kid (and he LOOKS so tiny so sometimes I look and think ...woah he is so little - his little brother is on the 75th percentile vs his 25th and has almost caught up with him in size at 5 months). So I hear how he talks to us and half expect him to be playing games I remember playing as a really young child - my earliest memories are from around age 2 and a half - and then I remember... he's not 2. He's not even 2. There's a world of difference between 2 and 2 and a half. But also because he IS my first I am not really sure how to spend our time together - we read and sing and have been doing that for a long time - but I never know when he is ready for something new. Today, because he does reverse pronouns, for the first time I started doing little "plays" with his toys where I do a voice for each one and they talk to each other and he absolutely loved it. At age 18 months he really would not have cared so I know he is ready for this now, but if I hadn't done it on a whim I would not have had any idea that we could introduce that "new" kind of play to him (he does make his toy animals make animal sounds and kiss and cuddle each other and eat things but he never made them talk to each other and he really liked seeing it and wanted to join in - although mostly with animal sounds and kisses lol).

When my girls came along, I was lent a book called 'baby talk' by Dr Sally Ward. I found it very readable, it was mainly about speech and language development, but it also covered expectations in general areas at each age/stage, plus toys to have available.

Maybe reading something like this on general toddler development would give you more confidence and ideas? Though it sounds like you are doing just fine.

What TeenTimesTwo said in the first sentence of the first reply sums it up.

You are over thinking this a bit. He isn't yet two. I wouldn't expect him to have friends at this age - he is not at a developmental age to do so.
You are already taking him out and about, and giving him opportunities to play alongside other children. That is all that is expected of him at this age

What you are already doing sounds great. Don't worry. You are already 'teaching' EYFS without realising it. Just keep getting out and about with other people and children and follow his lead whenever possible.