Oh Lordy - how would YOU feel if a pre-school worker had this to say about your child?

[Miaou]

OK - bit of background first.

Have a lovely boy in our preschool nursery who is 3.5. However his behaviour is "challenging" to say the least - and from what I understand has improved dramatically since he started attending a year ago. However his behaviour is still regularly so disruptive as to cause major issues in the preschool setting (sabotaging play, running away outside, snack table can sometimes turn into a war zone). As I understand it, at home he has no restrictions placed on him at all, including bedtimes, and quite often goes to bed after 10 or 11pm. Yesterday at snack time he cried and said he was too tired and wanted to go to bed .

My boss wants me to bring this up (ie the going to bed so late) with the parents at our parent consultation meeting next week (think parents evening following report). I am very unsure about this as I feel it is such a personal comment on the way they bring up their child. I also suspect it will fall on deaf ears. Obviously I will do it as tactfully as possible, and I do understand where my boss is coming from in terms of the effect on the others, but I'm uncomfortable about this.

If this was a comment made to you in this setting, how would you feel about it (assuming it is true)? What might make you inclined to make any changes?

Was nothing said to the parents on the day he was tired? - I think it should have been.
If my DS had been this tired at pre- school I would want to know. Infact, I would expect to be called to take him home. (But I'm probably a very different parent to this child's)

Think it is normal for a child of that age to be tired in the afternoon but not at 10.30 in the morning (unless they have had a very unsettled night/woke up early).

I definitely think you should mention it to the parents but in a way such as Puddle has suggested. Our Yr1 teacher is very direct and has no qualms about telling parents that the children in her class need to go to bed early! (If the parents volunteer the info that he goes to bed late, maybe suggest to them that they try moving his bedtime by 10 minutes every night until it is at a reasonable time...)

Thanks everyone. Lynette, the reasons why I didn't bring it up the day he said it was that a neighbour picked him up, not a parent, and tbh he is like this EVERY day, it's just that that particular day he articulated how he obviously felt.

F&Z - Place to snuggle down in the book corner - wouldn't work I'm afraid! He's one of those children who, once they get tired, just start exhibiting disruptive behaviour. To get him to sit in the book corner I would literally have to pin him down (not very PC!! )

I would like to know how a parent keeps a child who is tired awake until 10pm. Mine would just keel over at about tea-time if they were that tired in the morning.

Maybe they do need to hear the absolute words

"he's too tired to cope with preschool and won't learn properly at school unless you sort this out now. On a day when he had gone to bed early he was more responsive to learning and had a great time, we'd like to see more days like that."

Mother of said child came to see me today to say she can't make the consultation tomorrow as she is going to be away. If I had known beforehand I could have swapped her with another parent (she knew a few days ago!) - but I can't manage Friday and that is my last day at work. Grrrrr. I am going to call my boss and hand it over to her (not leaving it to the assistant to follow through - not fair on her!)

Thank you for all your suggestions - I hate leaving a chapter unclosed - but I'm not going to be able to follow this one through