School nursery entry: WWYD?

[WhereIsBlueRabbit]

We have a dilemma about school nursery entry for DS and I'd appreciate any views others may have on it, especially from parents of summer-borns!

DS is 2.5 (late August birthday). We've just been offered a school nursery place for September, days after his third birthday. We aren't convinced at all that he will be ready for school nursery - our childminder is adamant that he won't be. Our concerns are around his ability to cope emotionally and his general "maturity" - he is an anxious little boy and quite sensitive.

The nursery in question is part of the school we'd like him to go to. It's a lovely school and seems very nurturing - but it is an academy and on admission, they seem totally inflexible. They've already told us they don't allow summer-borns to defer Reception entry.

Our options are as follows:

1. Decline the school nursery place but see whether they have any spaces in January or April. This would have the advantage of giving him experience of the nursery environment before starting school. Disadvantage: the other children will already know each other and there will be more "teacher-led" activities after the first term.

2. Accept the nursery place but start him gradually. He would have to go five days from the off but this could be for as little as an hour a day at first. We could cover the wraparound three days out of five but our childminder is unlikely to be supportive of this on her days. Also have been given PM sessions, which will be impossible if he's still napping.

3. Decline the place but look for a private pre-school place. This would have the advantage of being more flexible but might not be on the same site so he wouldn't be able to get to know the kids he'd start school with.

It feels like a really big decision as we'll have to apply for schools next January, I don't feel we can make a decision on school deferral without seeing how he copes in a bigger setting than with the childminder, but deferring will also limit our choice of schools....

If you got through that, thank you! All thoughts welcome.

TL:DR: WWYD regarding nursery/school entry for a young summer-born?

Thanks for your contribution, BlingLoving - definitely still following (with a mild air of panic as we have to decide tonight!), but have been offline for most of the day.

I think we are erring towards enquiring later in the year about a January start and, if that's not possible, looking at a private preschool for a more flexible arrangement.

Your comments about peer groups are reassuring as my DM keeps harping on about that! I keep reminding her that actually, loads of people don't use school nurseries these days as they're not necessarily compatible with their existing childcare arrangements, so DS wouldn't be in a unique position if he started reception not knowing other children.

The inflexibility of this school is the one thing that concerns me about it - they keep emphasising about the support they offer but at no point have they explained why starting nursery in September/school just after his fourth birthday is actually in DS's interests and naturally I never think to raise that until after. It just feels like he's so little for all this!

Ditto those saying they question a pre school who enforce a 5 days start, mine wasn’t ready but they eased him in, 2 mornings, then two mornings and lunch, then one full day two mornings. I challenge them thinking in best interests of child if they make it every day and only afternoons

Personally I wouldn't use the school nursery, it could well be a to big a jump to go from small childminder setting, they are also being incredibly inflexible by the sound of it.

I would split the current time he is at a childminder between childminder and a private day nursery and use your 15 (or 30 if that applies) but do full days at each if that makes sense.
The private nursery would be that stepping stone to the school nursery where they could likely build it up gradually and it would only be a couple of days a week so less intense

He will not lose out by starting the school having not gone to the nursery there.

My ds is 3 in September and Goes to a preschool plus childminder and it works but I wouldn't be considering a nursery attached to school yet as he would be so much younger.

at no point have they explained why starting nursery in September/school just after his fourth birthday is actually in DS's interests

For ds it means that he is starting with all his peers at the same time so in theory equal bash at making friends (although in reality there will always be Jonny and Jamie who are inseperable because their mothers were together in NCT anyway so it's not equal). Academically in September they will all be starting on s, a, t, p, i, n or whatever phonics/maths etc they are doing, whereas by January most of them will have cracked those and moved on so if he hasn't followed the reception curriculum he might be behind. For you other parents won't look at you as if you are crazy because for some reason us British are obsessed with starting school earlier and earlier.

For the school though there are significant benefits- if your ds is able to learn with the rest of the class starting in September then they don't need to teach everything again in January and April to those starting later. There is also a census in the Autumn which has funding implications but only if your ds is enrolled will they get money, not if he has deferred, so it is very much in the school's interest for him to start in September. I think though that even as an academy they can't force him to.

FWIW Reception follow the Early Years curriculum, which is the same across all settings for the under 5s -Playgroups, childminders, private nurseries and schools.