Preschool teacher... 😡

[Essexdarling]

Ok so I’m getting really annoyed with my sons preschool teacher who is also his key worker, she was a mum there last year and always been a bit of a know it all, this year she had taken the job of deputy manager and now works there with her 2 year old in tow... so first peeve she’s always got her kid on her hip, 2nd she’s all juice plus crazy so insists on telling my very picky eater son that the foods I cook him aren’t healthy (he has pizza on Fridays only). She has never addressed me directly with any concerns. Then today first day back, when I picked him up they told me my son wouldn’t put his coat on to go outside, He is really lazy and even his little sister will get herself dressed but he refuses most the time, so I said ok we’ll do some practicing at home etc and told him in front of them (manager & evil deputy) that he must listen to his teachers, she couldn’t resist but directly address my son saying “oh jack, my little boy (standing beside her) dresses himself and he’s only 2) she went on to continue and I just brushed it off with a “good for him” and left with my 2 children. Walked home fuming! Should this be such an issue with a professional? she seems to really dig at my son all the time yet my 2 year old (to be fair she probably couldn’t tell me otherwise) and all the other kids come out with a cheery wave off & see you tomorrow?! I’ve attempted to have a word with the manager but every time I get her to one side, she pops herself into the conversation or comes and stands right by us to earwig... at the point now where my son says how much he hates her and I’ve dropped they’re hours because of her, I feel like taking them out completely. There are no other preschools nearby so they would be at home with me is this unfair on them? Am I over reacting to it all??

It's hard to say if you're over reacting. You could always try asking for a change of key worker.

Yes. If you don't like the set up move your ds elsewhere. You clearly don't like the deputy and are not in a position to know how often she carries her ds. Does he start school this year, if so he will have to learn to conform there.

It’s not a matter of liking her, I don’t know her outside of the setting t like or dislike her, I feel she dislikes my son and singles him out. she is carrying her child when I arrive to drop off in the morning (around 10 minutes I’m there) and at pick up, we wait outside and through the window you can see she’s carrying him or he’s glued to her side, I just don’t see how you can care for 10 other children if 1 is your priority. He is starting school in September and doesn’t have any issues in the other classes he attends

Sounds like an awful set up tbh

She shouldn't be in the same room as her child for that very reason! At the nursery my daughter is at If a staff members child attends the same nursery then the staff member is then put into a different room. It's unfair on the other kids.
As for changing key worker I don't think that would make a difference as they are essentially still in the same room.
You need to ask the manager to have a word in private regarding your concerns without they key worker there in another room. Failing that then personally I would move nursery's.

Hi HSMMaCM I would happily ask for a change if the deputy would back off my conversations with the manager but she’s always hovering! There’s only the 2 members of staff and I just don’t feel she’s acting professionally, getting really p**sed off with it all to be honest, nursery has gone to pot lately all the other parents left and some days there are my 2 Children and Just her son there for the whole session! Don’t want to rush to pull them out if I’m just being psycomum
P.s I have 5 children so I’m not that crazy “not my child” mum, I fully aware how naughty they can be, and have been fully supportive of the nursery’s methods up to now

Thanks kidssendingmenuts
It’s a very small nursery with only one room, they don’t even have an office, I haven’t been happy since all the staff quit last July, think I’m almost more angry at myself for taking them back even though my instinct was to take them out (and I tried but was guilted into staying by the staff)

It sounds incredibly unprofessional. No point complaining about her - they’ll just gossip about you in the staff room (if they have one). If he’s literally telling you he hates his teacher then pull him out of there. Is he learning anything except that teachers are jerks sometimes? Doesn’t sound like good preparation for primary school.

Well I think it the final nail in the coffin today... dropped them off and she was on door duty so kisses the kids and left, no contact with her. Got to the locked gate and someone was coming down the path to get in so I held the door open for them, then my son comes walking up behind me, so I about turn and match him back. I get back to the door where shes still stood - her kid still glued to her side! And she goes oh did you forget something so I said no he’s just come out the gate behind me, she starts with jack You can’t go walking out when mum leaves you have to stay here, I interrupted with aren’t you supposed to be watching them? Walked off as I could feel the word vomit rising (It was gonna be seriously colourful language) and i wasn’t going to kick off in front of all the children. Walked home holding back tears, just want to go back and get them and never send them back again

That's a massive Safeguarding issue. Arm yourself with the Safeguarding policy and make an appointment to see the manager. Thank goodness you saw your son before anything happened.
She also sounds like a massive tool.
Sorry you're having such an awful time with the nursery. It's such an awful feeling leaving your children anywhere where you can't feel they are safe and looked after. Hope you're ok.

Sorry, just read about the staffing at the setting. Are they OFSTED registered?

Get them out of there! Is that woman even qualified? Even if she is, just get. Them. Out.

Thank @kirta I just feel really crap now, they only go 3 days a week 3 hours a day, and I spend the whole time feeling guilty, sat here in tears mostly out of frustration that I didn’t bitch slap her and take my children home. It’s so akward because her other children are in the attached primary school which mine also attend and she’s on every possible school committee and club possible FML

Oh, she's one of those. So sorry OP, it must be like picking your way across broken glass. But get them out anyway, although you may have to make up an excuse if you want a quiet life!

Yes they are ofsted regulated, she’s fully trained (level 3 nvq- she talks about it ALL the time) it’s a very small nursery with no more than 10-11 children but it’s the only one locally to me & also attached to my children’s primary school. I’m happy to keep them home tbh but thought it would be good for them as my older children loved nursery and really thrived, left for reception class reading and starting to write! I know that last years ofsted report was satisfactory but since all the staff quit and it was restaffed over the summer holidays with new manager & deputy only it’s hasnt been reviewed, they do have volunteers that go in twice a week (one tues one thurs) but they are only dbs checked volunteers not qualified staff. The setting is portacabin it has one room, a kitchen separated by a baby gate, Toilets, a staff toilet/store cupboard, cloakroom area and a garden.

Thank @pickingdaisies
Yes she’s one of those! her DH is the caretaker/keyholder/committee member too, My mum has breast cancer and my step dad was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer just before Xmas, he died 2 weeks after being diagnosed... when I told them I would be taking the children out as and when I need to to help out, her response 2 weeks later was but he died so why don’t you go back to bringing them for full weeks!

Without being dramatic, it doesn't matter how big or small a setting is, they still have to abide by the same Safeguarding rules. Securing the premises from people getting in, and children getting out is an absolutely basic compliancy point.
I work in Safeguarding, and this is something that should be investigated by the Local Authority in terms of whether the staff are equipped to keep all children safe within the setting. I know you must feel terrible, but you mustn't. You can take steps to challenge them. You'd be well within your rights.

That sound you just heard was my jaw hitting the floor. What a charmer! Just keep them home, it doesn't sound like ds is gaining anything from being there. You can tell Madam you're all feeling a bit fragile, or whatever, none of her damn business. Hopefully without your DC's there they'll have to close . And for you, what a rubbish time you're having.

thanks so much @pickingdaisies yep today will be their last day there! I’m celebrating with a big old bottle glass of prosecco! I’ve just had enough now, it’s really winding me up and I feel helpless, I’ve had a look at some nursery’s in nearby villages for almost 3yo DD to start in September and one has come very highly recommended and even an offer of carpool with one of my friends sisters who’s DD is starting in September result!
@kirta thanks I can’t even engage with them over this, it will be a swift email to let them know Jack & Franny won’t be back. The safeguarding situation today just pushed me over the edge, beings me back to the initial point that’s shes got her kid glued to her so much she didn’t notice my son walk right past her while she was holding the door open taking register. She’s very lucky I was the one at the gate talking to one of the mums who was running late! Otherwise he would have walked straight out into the street (and probably home!)
I’m so done with it all, with my 2 out they won’t be able to stay open 5 days a week but it’s no longer my problem and I won’t be guilted into staying anymore! Thanks so much

UPDATE!!!
So just back from there with kids, mentioned to the manager about DS not being happy there, she could tell I was uncomfortable with the evil one hovering so asked us to the garden so my son could show me the “new trees” soon as we walked out she told me, she has quit and she’s working out her notice! Said it wasn’t a good fit from either side so she left before being sacked! The sense of relief is overwhelming! I did make clear I wasn’t happy about the incident at the gate today and reiterated the previous complaints just to make things crystal clear. She completely agreed with me and has offered to take over they’re key workers role and will be my point of contact from now on

So the daft woman has quit?! This is good news. I think she knew exactly what a big deal that incident was this morning! So glad you were able to talk to the manager without her. Bet you feel so relieved! later for you I reckon!

@kirta ohhh yes very large vino! She had already put her notice in apparently! But no one was told she was leaving?! all I can do is smile, singing ding dong the witch is dead, 3 more weeks / 9 sessions and she’s done!!!!!!!

Woohoo!

Thank you all so much