Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Preschool education

Get advice from other Mumsnetters to find the best nursery for your child on our Preschool forum.

Flip

Original poster

Do they realy have to go to pre-school?

21 replies

Marne · 02/05/2007 10:01

Last week i took dd1 out of nursery/pre-school as she was having a few problems (realy was'nt enjoying herself).
Evryone (mainly my mother) are saying i was wrong to take her out as she will think she can get out of evrything and will find it hard when she starts school.
She's only 3 FFS, she's still a baby, surely its not doing her any harm by keeping her at home and not sending her to pre-school?
I do plan on sending her but i feel that she is'nt ready at the moment.
Am i wrong?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

CristinaTheAstonishing · 02/05/2007 10:02

You could try a different pre-school. Of course there's nothing wrong with taking her out, just that you might want some time for yourself and she might actually enjoy a different setting. How long had she been at her current one?

oliveoil · 02/05/2007 10:03

hmmmm

dd1 started at 3 and didn't like it, but we persevered with it and now she loves it

my worry was that if I pulled her out, she would think that by crying she would get out of anything else she didn't like (eg school). If that makes sense

she is v sensitive and I wanted her to come out of herself a bit more before school

when do you plan on sending her?

Astrophe · 02/05/2007 10:08

Marne, I think you did the right thing and I would do the same. She is only a baby.

IMO, they start nursery and school too early in this country anyway. The idea that they must go to nursery so that they are ready for school is a nonsense. Should they then go to 'pre nursery' so that they can be ready for nursery?

I know, the world is a hard place, and kids need to learn that they can't always get whet they want, but I don't think 3 is the time to learn it. Marne, I don't think she is manipulating you. If she was having a hard time she is far better off at home with you for now.

(FWIW, My DD is almost 3 and goes, and enjoys it, so I'm not anti nursery, depending on the child and situation)

Original poster

Marne · 02/05/2007 10:12

We have had alot of problems with her, she is very shy and finds it hard to mix.
She does'nt mix with many other kids as we don't know many so i think she found it very hard being around so many at once.
I am going to take her to look at another pre-school hopefuly next week, im finding it hard to find one as most of the loccal ones have closed down.
She was at are loccal nursery for a term and a half, she started of ok but after 2 weeks started to hate it, she was having nightmares the night before she had to go, i spoke to the staff at the nursery and did'nt realy want to help.
Since going to nursery her behaviour has got realy bad and she has started to push her sister around, wont share etc..
She seems to get upset at the slightest little thing and is very tearful. I realy don't know where to go from here.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 02/05/2007 10:13

I'd try a different one.

Dd1 has speech delays and dyspraxia and nursery has really helped her.

JodieG1 · 02/05/2007 10:14

My dd didn't like going so we took her out and she started at school (reception) this September. She loves it and is now ready for that sort of environment. She was fine from the first day, no tears, no wanting me to stay with her or anything. She's a very confident and happy little girl. Ds1 has just started pre-school a few weeks ago (he's 3.6) and he loves it already. We haven't had any tears from him and I've never had to stay with him there either. He's very outgoing and confident, also extremely lively and spirited hehe. It remains to see what ds2 will be like as he's just 15 weeks old.

CristinaTheAstonishing · 02/05/2007 10:15

Have you been to the dreaded M&T groups? At least they last less and you can be around.

Saturn74 · 02/05/2007 10:16

You know your child better than anyone else.
Whether or when you send her to pre-school is up to you.
There are other ways your child can socialise with other children without going to pre-school.

contentiouscat · 02/05/2007 10:17

Oh its not obligitory that they go - but I found that a lot of the kids DS went to pre-school with are now his friends at school so it made the transition less of a shock.

Why not just send her 1 or 2 mornings a week? The other thing I would say is much as they lay on the "I dont want to go" "no one plays with me" etc etc they have often forgotten all about us by the time we have got down the path. I watched one day through a window and he went from full drama to "oh I think I'll draw a picture" in seconds!!

It does us good to get a break from them too!

ekra · 02/05/2007 10:19

Perhaps you could start her in some other activities where she has contact with other children but you remain with her.

Swimming/gymnastics/singing.

In the meantime, look for another pre-school which might be able to help her settle in better and put her name down to start after this summer (I'm presuming she isn't starting school this September).

My DD1 goes to a wonderful pre-school and in the nearly two years since she has been there I haven't seen any of the new children struggle to adjust.

ledodgy · 02/05/2007 10:20

When is she due to go into reception is it this September or next? If it's next then I'd leave it and put her into pre school from this September.

Enid · 02/05/2007 10:20

dd1 went to nursery the term before she started school

she hated it, I only sent her two mornings a week

I would say it is absoltuely fine not to send her. enjoy her at home!

Enid · 02/05/2007 10:21

btw dd1 loved school and settled very well (she always needed me to come in with her in the first year though)

Original poster

Marne · 02/05/2007 10:21

We have been to a few M&T groups last year and she loved it, she did'nt even notice i was there.

Maybe its just this nursery she does'nt like, since going there she has lost any confidence that she had. I found that the staff were not very helpful, i went to pick her up one day and she was at the door crying, evryone else was outside playing, this made me angry as nobody was trying to calm her down.

I think i will give her a break before trying again.

OP posts:

Original poster

Marne · 02/05/2007 10:22

She's not due to start school till next year

OP posts:

elasticbandstand · 02/05/2007 10:23

You know best.. it is your child. I am sure you are not harmign her by taking her out of pre-school. It is meant to be for her fun and your "freedom"...

fortyplus · 02/05/2007 10:25

My mum took me out of nursery because I hated it. She sat me down and told me that when I was a big girl I would have to go to proper school every day. I didn't have a problem - I loved school when I got there.

Enid · 02/05/2007 10:25

take her out

have fun with her at home in the summer

send her to a nicer one from January 2008

Astrophe · 02/05/2007 10:27

good thinking marne. give her a break, try another preschool (I would be livid if I found my DD crying alone and nobody with her - in fact, I would make a formal complaint. If she doesn't enjoy a new one though, don't feel compelled to send her. Let her stay at home.

elasticbandstand · 02/05/2007 10:33

my first had to go eveyr day, that was the rules, luckily we had aftenoons to play and stuff.
my second i started with 3 sessions, but then cut down to 2.
by my third however i was working and everythign was a big juggle and then a regret when she started school and i felt i had missed out a bit .. that time had gone through my fingers.

Orinoco · 05/05/2007 15:23

Message withdrawn

Flip