DS is having problems coping with the rough behaviour of some boys at his preschool.

[MegaLegs]

DS is 3, will be 4 in July and starts reception in Sept. Has been at preschool since Jan 06 (his two brothers there before).

Am on v.good terms with staff having been there for so long but I am getting frustrated at their inability to sort out a problem with three boys who are basically bullying the other children. DS now hates school and doesn't want to go - have had to leave him in tears and kept him home today.

Anyone have any ideas I could suggest to them to help them sort out these boys?

Poor old DS. My DS1 will be 4 in June and will be off to school too!

Dealing with these problems in pre-school is particularly tricky. On the one hand, staff are somewhat hampered by what they are allowed to do in terms of discipline - no exclusion means they can't operate a naughty step or withold priviledges such as outdoor play. (Although this happens at primary school so you've hope for the future). And some children just don't respond to being told to stop.

On the other hand, it's clearly not fair on the other children if 3 boys are being bullies. And it isn't doing the boys in question any favours either. I think the staff need to make more effort in monitoring this behaviour and confronting the boys immediately that they do something mean and the staff need to report it to the boys parents.

They could also look at when the bullying is taking place and perhaps give them a more supervised session accordingly.

If you feel the staff aren't taking it seriously enough, telephone the Committee Chair (I'm one and I've had 2 calls on a similar subject this year).

Is your DS going to a school attached to the pre-sch and/or with the majority of his pre-school peers?

Thanks DoNB for your sensible advice.

Yes DS will go up to big school with practically the whole pre school group who are on the whole very lovely.

They will be having a brand new teacher who is also going to have a management position in the school so I 'm hoping they'll choose someone who can sort out the bad behaviour early on. This didn't happen with DS2's class and there are still a few disruptive elements in that class who seem to rule the roost.

Needless to sat DS3 trotted in good as gold this morning with a cheery wave and was not worried about being left - maybe his day with mummy yesterday was a good thing.

P.s. Love your photos on your profile, are you up on the Downs?

Well if you get no joy from the pre-school staff, then I do hope your next Reception teacher proves to be effective. It may be that a stricter routine and more challenging work sorts these 3 boys out anyway, once they move up to school. (ever the optimist).

My current bugbear is a 4yo who manipulates my (admittedly daft son) into being the class clown. I don't mind DS being silly but I'm not thrilled that it's at another childs behest - I am teaching DS to be more independent-minded

PS. We're up on the Ashdown Forest. It's great!

it might be worth asking the preschool staff if they can keep the other three apart from each other - bullies tend to work in packs and not do it when they are on their own - so if they can separate them more often that might ease the situation.