Is this standard for a 4 year old boy

[lavalamp08]

My little man has been in his new nursery (we moved house) since September. He's settled in fine and he enjoys it. At his first parents evening a few weeks back his teacher gave glowing report however a little while on pick up his TA asked over the weekend for him to practice writing his name, 1 to 10 and the words sat and pin, so we did and I saw a big improvement over the next week when I asked her if she thought the same, she pulled a face (meaning no not really) and then went to spout off about him being last to settle down, the last to write his name, he needs lots of cajoling to get started, never wants to do it etc

Obviously I took this to heart, I don't want him being the last to do anything or to be holding the other kids up etc so tried to sit down and talk to him about it but I find myself doubting her as I know he is a clever little boy, he's just 4, in my eyes. She said he'd much rather run round playing with his pals ..... shouldn't that be what he's doing at this age?? Or am I totally wrong

We do do lots with him at home, he does write but when he gets fed up we leave it as I don't think he needs to be pushed at this age.

Am I doing it wrong and should be pushing him more. I've also gone along with the 'he's a boy, they are lazier than girls so I'm not worried about him' attitude but now I'm doubting that. Should I be pushing him more or should I take no notice of TA due to the fact his proper teacher never mentioned anything??

He is 4 for goodness sake, he should be running about and jumping in puddles. The TA sounds ridiculous, ignore her.

He isn't at school yet so I wouldn't be too concerned as long as he can physically do it. If it's just his choice to run and play that's different to either not physically or mentally being able to write and sit and different to not doing as he is told

However the Ta still has a professional opinion so just because she is not a proper teacher doesn't mean you can dismiss her

And you are v v unreasonable to assume 'boys are just lazy'

This is a pre-school, not a private day nursery? Or is he in the reception Year of primary school?

It is absolutely not true that boys are lazier than girls. This isn't the issue here. The issue is whether it's appropriate for 4 year olds in nursery to be doing handwriting practice and spellings. It wouldn't be what I would want for my child, I'd prefer child led play at this age. There's plenty of time for him to learn to read and write, and the absolute last thing you want at this age is to put them off learning because they think they're no good at it.

Please tell us if he in a school-based nursery. I assume he is as you mention a TA.

I'm afraid that it's in the Early Years Foundation Stage Outcomes, OP. Children at that age should be able to recognise their names, start writing their names and count to then. And much, much more. The school is doing its job, I hope they are doing it in a fun and play-based environment. I don't agree with it, but it's the way this country is going.

www.foundationyears.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Early_Years_Outcomes.pdf

Recognise their name doesn't mean practice writing it out repetitively. Counting from 1 to 10 means verbally, not writing it out. And that's all at 40 to 60+ months, which covers reception year at school. They are expecting too much from him. Is it a particularly academically focussed pre-school?

Should be able to write their own name and other words such as captions, labels. Attempt to write short sentences in meaningful context. Maths has even higher expectations for that age group.

That's what's in the EYFS for that age group. So does the new curriculum.

The age bracket is 40 to 60+ months, which covers reception year in school. They're not expected to have already achieved that the year before in nursery. The TA has unrealistic expectations.

My four year old is doing very little of that and his teacher has advised us that there’s lots of time. He does try to write his name but it’s totally unintelligible and we haven’t practiced it at home yet as I feel he should be doing imaginative play. I suppose we will have gradually gear up for it but he’s not that interested.

Teacher was out of order if you ask me. I have a summer baby who was in reception at 4 and although some of his friends could write their names way before he couldn't do all those things. I fretted about him being behind but he is now catching up and they all learn it eventually. There really is no rush. Try not to worry about it.

I am a highly trained early years professional and he should be running around playing
None of what he is doing is age appropriate at all
I work very closely with reception teachers and they would be horrified if we did that innour nursery
Find another nursery

Thanks all for replying. I've been away from my phone all afternoon and never realised I'd had so many replies, thank you I appreciate all your words

It's a school nursery (F1). He will be starting school in September next year. He was born in October so will in total have 18 months in nursery which I am grateful for due to him not having a hellova shock come September at going into a school environment

I wasn't being rude about thinking boys were lazier I just thought that was the case, I have read on here today that boys hand muscles don't fully form till they are 5 (dunno how true this is meant to be) and I do have a few school friends who have both said what I've described sounds like every other 4 year old but when it's your own I'm sure you'll be the same and just want the ultimate best for them

I do think I'm going to have a word with his teacher next week and see if she feels there's an issue

Again thanks all for replying

Ridiculous. I wouldn't be at all keen on a Nursery that wasn't following the EYFS and letting him follow his own interests. It is really poor practice to be making him sit and learn letter formation if he's not choosing to do it at this stage.

If you're worried about the development of his hand muscles, do duplo and Play-Doh. You don't have to do loads of writing ,( although this is the time of year for writing their name with a purpose - if you are a card sending family)

I am a Reception teacher and an EYFS specialist and there is nothing that requires Nursery age children to be writing their name or anything else. If they can that’s great, but if they aren’t ready then it may do more harm than good. I have lots of children who come into my class not being able to write anything and it is my job to teach them how to write, use their phonics to spell and how to form letters correctly. Lots of children aren’t even ready in Reception but that’s a whole other conversation! There’s no requirement to write numerals at any stage in the EYFS. Just don’t force it at this age. It will come when he’s ready.

It has been my observation that the average boy seems more unfocused than the average girl at 3,4,5.

My best friend from uni and I had babies within a week of each other. We met for lunch one day when they were almost 4 and my DD spent much of the time drawing and practising writing her name. My friend was quite concerned that she seemed much more advanced and was trying to get her little lad to try. He was just letting the pencil fall out of his hand like he hadn't a clue what it was for (I'm sure he did).

Fast forward 15 years her boy got 3 As at A level, slightly better than my DD. What they can do at 3,4,5 is neither here nor there in the grand scheme of things.

Oh for goodness sake, he's 4! The EYFS early learning goals are the goal for the end of Reception, your DS isn't even in school yet, nursery/Preschool should be all about child led play. Play will develop the gross and fine motor skills needed to be able to sit still and hold a pencil in Reception year; time enough for the actual hand writing practice in Reception, when the foundations are in place (and meanwhile, "running round with his friends" will give him chance to develop essential social skills). Climbing trees and ladders for core and upper body strength and stability. Play dough, Lego, sensory activities, ball games - all great age appropriate ways to learn pre-writing skills. Process art for early pencil grip and mark making practice. All great child led play with a purpose. childdevelopment.com.au/areas-of-concern/writing/writing-readiness-pre-writing-skills/