Parents evening - we can't tell you how your DD is doing....

[flatmouse]

I have had a few days to calm down, but really am still in shock. DD is at school nursery which is 2.5hrs/day and she stays with a wrap-around private nursery until 3:30pm.

This was the school nursery parents evening:
Started off OK, DD is confident and happy, enjoys role play and sand & water play.

But then they (qualified nursery teachers) said, "we can't tell you exactly how she's getting on (numeracy, literacy, etc) because when we try to assess her 1-2-1 she just smiles at us and giggles". I was a little suprised so asked "and when you make it clear she needs to do whatever it is you are asking?" "Oh, we don't do that, and it's such a lovely smile..."

So basically, my 3.5yr old DD has got these nursery teachers where she wants them. She decides what she does/doesn't do not them.

(At the time i was so shocked i was speechless and moved on to my DS teachers instead).

So - do i kick up a fuss, or do i leave it knowing the wrap-around nursery are teaching her loads, get her to do what THEY want and know her inside out, and in a few months she'll start reception where the teacher is lovely but very firm and no-nonsense?

any advice?

no advice but will bump for you

do they need to 'assess' her 1 to 1 stylee? can they not just see how she's getting on generally? and do you do things with her too? can you see how she's getting on? all seems odd to me. isn't it supposed to be fairly relaxed, learning through games and play etc until later on? not 1 to 1 assessments.

I would leave it

she's only 3.5 and she sounds happy and confident which is what you want at 3.5 really

as long as they don't think she has any issues, I'd just not worry about it - it may be they don't want to push her because they know she is doing stuff in the wrap around care and want her to just play iyswim

I'm not concerned about her progress as such. I know she is way ahead of where her brother was at the same age.

What concerns me is that qualified nursery teachers can't get her to do what they want her to do. That she obviously feels she is in control. (She's not the one in charge at home - altho she would obviously like to be! )

They say she does do stuff in groups - just not with them. Yes it is all learning through play. As far as 1-2-1 assessment is concerned - this isn't sit down and do an exam paper! but more the teacher focusing attention on the child to fully understand what that child is achieving. But it still would be nice to hear from her teachers how she is progressing in literacy and numeracy.

flatmouse - in most other European countries children don't even start learning literacy until they are about 6 and they are still as good if not ahead of British children aged 8 .
it sounds like she is enjoying herself and is sociable which is really important- would you like to swap with my bisterous stroppy 3.5year old ds

I think that sounds like a lovely pre-school. What are you hoping for them to assess? Come September she'll be assessed constantly.

Boisterous not bisterous

Still reeling at the thought of my 4yr old in nursery being assessed for literacy and numeracy....

me too, literacy and numeracy at 3.5

But she's only 3.5. When DS2 was at nursery at the same age, they had marked on his assessment form that he didn't recognise numbers 1-10. I said that he'd known them for ages, and the teacher said, "I'm sure he has, but we haven't been able to get him to the table to tell us. He's far too busy with the construction toys."

I don't think that it's particularly 'manipulative' of her. I think it's just the nursery knowing when not to push a small child.

OK I take your point.

"Assess" was teachers word not mine.

By numeracy i mean "is she comfortable counting to 10" - this is the kind of information the other parents were hearing.

By literacy i mean "is she learning some letters, having a go at writing her name?"

My point was not that i felt she should/should not be "graded" or "achieve targets" my point was as the teachers are "assessing" other children why can't they "assess" my DD? (they made it clear they didn't have this issue with others).

My concern, is more that DD (as other children do) if given an inch will take a mile, and whereas i don't expect a harsh regime at nursery, i do expect her to learn to respect the teachers and do what they ask her to do.

I'm sure if you do things at home with her you must have a vague idea how she's doing with numeracy & literacy, yes???

Pre-school should be fun, hence why the Qualified NNEB's won't force your child to do something which isn't at all necessary.

at 3.5 having a lovely smile is far better than being a whizz at numeracy. be pleased!

Oh, she sounds lovely. And so do her teachers.

I pity anyone who'd try to get DD2 (a few months older than your daughter) to do, well, anything to which she is not overly partial.

I think the great skill of a good nursery teacher is knowing when to push and when to be patient.
Perhaps a lesson we could all learn?

well if you do, promise you will only use very dark chocolate for the cake bit

the contrast is important

Best of luck to you

sorry wrong thread

I'm two beers ahead of most of you, I'll wager

I don't know, there i was hoping this thread would die a death, as it appears other posters feel i'm being pushy - when that wasn't my intent at all! and you go and talk about dark chocolate!!

I'll have to find that thread - was it to do with brownies or flapjacks or something?

I would find it strange - at 3.5 like it or not she'll be on the Fundation Stage of the NC and she will already have records.

I guess there is 2 issues: firstly that the staff should be able to assess her progress against the FS framework; secondly that she is allowed to avoid certain requests/tasks set to her.

For the first I'm surprised that the staff feel unable to her assess her through a group actiivity. And at settings I'm familiar with they are always writing "observations" such as "ds2 recognised the letter S on his coat peg" or "ds2 told the children in circle time about his trip to see Scooby Doo" or whatever. I would still expect them to be able to form some view, especially as they will be reporting to the next school.

For the second - I guess I would be unhappy if I thought ds was being pushed into activities that he didn't want, especially on a 1 to 1 basis. Part of him attending preschool is to learn some of the skills - sitting down for certain activities (eg register), the rules around snack-time, so I don't think it is as straightforward as she should be let do what she likes - it is meant to help to prepare them for more formal settings. That said I'm not sure I would bother with it at this moment, and would wait instead for reception. It doesn't soudn as if she is being disruptive or rude or acting in a way in which she is going to give an experienced teacher any grief.